An interesting, if disturbing question has been posed to Cary Tennis at Salon. “Want Him To Know” writes:
“Recently while I was on Facebook, the man who date-raped me in college showed up as ‘people you might know.’… I never filed charges, never told people for years afterward, and didn’t even think of it as rape until five years ago. But now that I think about it, it infuriates me that he was able to victimize me without consequences. I don’t want to bring legal action, or shame him publicly, but I do want him to understand what he did was wrong. I’d like an apology…. Should I attempt to contact him, or just let bygones be bygones? Honestly, I could take it or leave it. My only worry is that he will think date rape is OK.”
Tennis’ advice is lacking, despite being nearly 300 words long — see a rape counselor! Probably wise, but it doesn’t really address her desire to know that the person who date raped her doesn’t do it again. So what do you guys think? Should “Want Him To Know” get in touch with the person in question? Should she move on? Or do you think that any response he gives her wouldn’t give her the peace she desires? Tell us your thoughts in the comments! Maybe she reads The Frisky… Keep reading »
While watching your buddy cry her eyes out over some unworthy jerk isn’t nearly as painful as getting the heave-ho yourself, it’s still difficult. Most of us want to help our BFFs through breakups, but what do you say? Or, more importantly, what shouldn’t you say? Keep reading »
I have had some bad dates. Not the yelling or fighting type. Not the kind where anyone gets left in a restaurant. No, my bad dates are the ones you don’t want to tell anyone. You know you could win the prize for worst date, but the prize is not worth your dignity. In fact, most times you don’t think about them. Maybe if you pretend they never happened they will magically be erased. Keep reading »
I’m a Cancer (born June 27, 1989) and my lover is a Virgo (born September 12, 1987). We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months. We both have this emotional pull and undeniable attraction towards each other and think we’re soul mates, but something keeps bothering me. I feel like he picks on me a lot. He’s critical about the way I dress and how much I weigh. For example, the day we met, he poked my thigh and was like, “Maybe you should go to the gym and work out.”
I don’t know if I’m being extra sensitive, which I am most of the time, but I love my curves and don’t want to change anything about my body. I run four times a week and eat healthy. Little things he says and does make me think maybe he’s not that into me, even though he claims to want to spend the rest of his life with me and wants me not to leave him. Am I being too sensitive for this harsh Virgo? Am I taking the little things too seriously? – Criticized Crab Keep reading »
The next time you get caught cheating, just blame nature and your physiology. Women who have a high level of the sex hormone oestradoil may be more likely to cheat, according to a recent study of 52 women aged 17 to 30. Women with high levels of oestradoil are highly fertile and feel more attractive, which makes them more likely to flirt, kiss, or have a serious affair. Highly fertile women apparently tire easily of long-term partners and are motivated to find more desirable partners. This excuse, however, won’t work if you’re just having casual sex on the side because women with high levels of oestradoil are usually serial monogamists. But then again, I doubt your man will be able to tell whether you have a lot of oestradoil. Can they make a T-shirt for that? [Science Daily via AOL] Keep reading »
The latest installment in the saga that is poor Jennifer Aniston’s love life is the news that she dumped sappy John Mayer because of his Twitter obsession. Apparently, John had been blowing off Jen for a while, claiming he was just too busy working to hang with her. When Aniston found out he wasn’t too busy to update Twitter every few minutes around the clock, she was livid. How to make sure you don’t suffer a similar fate? Pay attention to these top ten signs your significant other is becoming obsessed with Twitter, after the jump. Keep reading »
This morning while I was getting ready for work, my heart was warmed by a story on the “Today” show. Unlike the divorce battle in Long Island, NY, over whether a woman would be allowed to keep her estranged husband’s donated kidney, organ donation brought Jim and Bernadette Tobin back together. The two married young and divorced after 27 years. When he needed a kidney transplant several years later, Bernadette stepped up and donated one of her kidneys. While they were both healing from their surgeries, Jim and Bernadette fell back in love! “She saved my life and changed my life forever, giving me the gift of life,” Jim said. The two were remarried last Sunday. [Today] Keep reading »
Reader Rebecca found this one in Westerville, OH. We’re pretty sure Taylor Swift painted it there.
Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to email@example.com. Keep reading »
Since I got engaged early last month and began planning a wedding for this summer, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be hitched. As someone who already lives with her husband-to-be, I wonder just how much marriage will actually change things, whether I’ll wake up the morning after the wedding feeling any different. I’ve also been thinking a lot about what kind of wife I want to be, what it means to be a “good” wife, and how — if at all — being a “good wife” could compromise my identity or personal needs and interests.
I don’t feel a pressing desire to “prove” to myself or anyone else that I won’t change, that I won’t compromise anything, because at some point I’m sure I will. (Isn’t compromise a big part marriage, after all?) But I’m also certain that while bits of my identity are bound to shift, just as I would expect them to with any big life change and new perspective, the core of who I am will remain the same. No new name, white dress, ring on my finger or any other traditional convention is going to change that. For better or worse, I am who I am and I’m pretty solid in my identity. So when I read a column in the Guardian recently by Abigail Gliddon, a woman who claims “when a woman takes her husband’s name, she surrenders her former identity and adopts his,” I wondered how she came to have such low expectations for other women. Keep reading »
“So?” he asked me. “Is there anything else you want to say?” Keep reading »