Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

For The Week Of October 26-November 1, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You will feel suspicious this week. It seems as if your sweetie isn’t telling you everything. However, this could mean ruining a surprise that is meant to be fun. So, if you want to keep pushing for answers, do it, but at your own risk. Of course, if your nerves are telling you it’s not something delightful, then go ahead and burst the bubble.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Budget concerns will make you want to hide, but this is the time when you really can see how far and strong you can be as a team. Let out your innermost fears and wear your vulnerabilities on your sleeve. Let your boo sort out the dilemma and hear him out. If you put two heads together, it’ll most definitely ignite a genius plan and a few white-hot flames.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Don’t let anything hold you back if another can’t keep up with you. It’s not that you should be slowing down; they should be speeding up. As much compassion as you would like to have, there really isn’t any point because after time you will find that despite all the empathy you might have now, it will eventually turn into aggravation.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Digging back to your past is crucial to help you bridge the gap between your ideals and your reality. Somehow you always start off on the right foot, but after a while you can easily lose sight of your needs and think that it’ll all piece itself together nicely in the end. However, you should know better now. Moving into this week, don’t forget lessons you have already learned.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

When it comes to dealing with your baby, prepare for some frustration ahead. Although you may have his utmost loyalty, you will have to share him, as needy friends will be entering the picture and testing your patience. Although he will think he is being altruistic, you will think he’s being a sucker. This week will be about reconciling those differences.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’ll be in full-on workaholic mode, making you more focused on yourself than ever. This will give you just the right mindset to start thinking for the long-term and what you really want your life to be about. The legacy you leave begins now. This will be reflected in your love life too — you’ll decide which booty-call number to delete and which one to reconsider.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Take off into fantasyland ASAP! Let your mind go and don’t stop to think about repercussions. Life has its own agenda right now. As long as you are open and willing to play the game of blind faith, you will find there is more than enough exquisiteness to set your loins on fire for at least the next few weeks!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Let your sex kitten out of the cage. The only thing that is going to feel right this week is being bad. If you think this is going to intimidate others, let it. Don’t lie to yourself anymore, thinking you have to be softer on the sidelines to get what you are after, because the more power in your punch, the better the balls that get thrown back into your court.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You don’t have to have all the answers right now, but you do have to ask the right questions. When it comes to perfecting your love life to be a sleek machine of passion, devotion and inspiration, it’ll mean verbally dissecting what’s happening and knowing your options. However, don’t feel the need to be the whole equation, only half.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Keeping your head in the clouds is fantastic for the beginning stages of a relationship. But if you are several months in and you aren’t feeling as if there is a routine being established, then you have to wonder what is up and if you are getting all the facts straight. Are there valid reasons for why you are only getting half the picture? Time for more research.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Despite how uptight you may get over the thrilling love ride you are about to go on — because control will be taken out of your hands — if you are creative, you will find places to put your hands that will be exciting enough to quell your anxieties. Ignore the rules and forget the consequences: trust fate. If you do, life is about to turn a very interesting corner for you.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Take some down time with your honey and slow it up. Pace yourself. This is the time to really dig deep into each other’s psyches and get to the heart of your emotions, relationship and dreams. Chances are this will go well and will result in intense bonding and hot sex. However, to get, you will have to give. Share the spotlight and you’ll see there is room for two.

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Whether you’re starting a new relationship or already married, there are some things that don’t change, like the need to feel sexy, appreciated and needed. And it’s not just women who want these things — men do too! Below are seven things you can say to a man, at any stage of your love life, that will leave him glowing. Keep reading »

Love Vandal: Heart Caretaker

Reader Lauren snapped this photo in Florence, Italy.

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Single adulthood used to be a brief moment between adolescence and marriage. Today, according to one study, the median age of a first marriage is rising for both men and women, and singles make up 41 percent of American adults 18 and older. Keep reading »

Happily Ever After Someday

We all know the stories, a beautiful young woman meeting her Prince Charming, falling in love and living happily ever after. What these storytellers fail to mention is that you may have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your Prince and once you do, there are no guarantees that it will end in happily ever after. In most cases, it will end without the birds singing and wrapped in the pretty bow that we remember from “Cinderella.” Keep reading »

What Is “Dating Like A White Girl”?

Melanie Sims wrote an essay called “Dating Like a White Girl” for the November issue of Essence magazine. In the piece, she says she rewrote her “conservative Black girl dating rules” to have fun with dating and get over a man who was unfaithful. Here’s her explanation:

“Yes, I’m stereotyping White girls as footloose and free based on my first introduction to courtship (Kelly Kapowski on “Saved by the Bell“) and the White women in the cubicle next to me who don’t live in fear of some looming man shortage.”

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Dear Wendy: My Wedding Is Making My Best Friend Crazy

I graduated about two years ago and moved from Chicago to Florida. My best friend from college still lives in Chicago and we have remained very close. Ever since last December, when I got engaged, this friend is driving me CRAZY. She throws herself a pity party every day and then gets upset when no one comes. I am having a very small wedding so have not asked much from my bridesmaids but whenever she volunteers to do something she then complains about it for the next month — to me. She recently told me that she’s spending so much money on weddings that she has decided she’s going to throw herself a “singles party” and that everyone must bring presents. I understand that attending weddings is a financial burden — but being that I am the one hosting the wedding I feel like she should probably find someone else to talk to about that. On top of that — she’s been complaining so much recently that my fiance doesn’t want her to come to the wedding – let alone be IN the wedding party anymore. Am I being a Bridezilla? Or does my friend need to keep some of her comments to herself? Can our friendship possibly survive my wedding and her pity parties? — Frustrated in Florida

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I’ve Become A Baseball Widow

It’s only been three months since I got married and, sadly, I’m already a widow — a baseball widow, I mean. My husband, Drew, is a huge, life-long Yankees fan, and if you aren’t following the sport or the team, the Yankees are currently one game away from making it to the World Series. Over the last two weeks or so of post-season, the Yankees have played something like nine games, most of which have lasted over four hours — some have even lasted over five hours. Tack on all the pre- and post-game coverage that Drew likes to watch and we’re looking at roughly 50 hours of baseball viewing in less the two weeks. Fifty hours, you guys! Basically, that’s a part-time job. Or, to put it in terms someone like me can wrap her head around a bit more easily, that’s 50 episodes of “The Real Housewives,” 25 episodes of “The Bachelor,” or 16 viewings of the 2009 Academy Awards! Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: Is It Still Cheating If It’s With An Ex?

After being in an 11-year relationship with someone I met when we were 18, a mix of drugs and bad attitudes finally came to a head this past January and we ended things. About four months ago I met a really great guy. He is successful and stable — pretty much everything my ex wasn’t. We have a great time together and spend almost every minute we aren’t working together. Unfortunately, there isn’t that “chemistry” I had with my ex. And my ex has suddenly decided to barge back into my life. After our last phone conversation, well I wouldn’t really call it a conversation, more like him cursing me out for emotionally abandoning him and moving on with my life (gotta love the drug addict), he’s now saying he’s now completely reformed and wants to give me everything he wasn’t able to before when he was so screwed up. Like an idiot I continue to answer his phone calls and have even seen him on two different occasions. My question is, is it still considered cheating if it is with your ex who you were with for 11 years? I am not emotionally attached to my ex anymore but that chemistry or “fire” that has always been there attracts me and causes me to do things I normally would never do in my right mind. I have told him (my ex) how horrible I feel about what I have done to my new guy but he assures me that it is okay because to him, these are “special circumstances”. Do you agree with that? Or is cheating, cheating regardless? — Dazed and Confused

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Dating Don’ts: In Defense Of Snooping

I used to be one of those self-righteous types who declared I’d sooner break up with a man than stoop to snoop. This stance wasn’t because I was noble or had never been tempted—I’m not and I have. I just remember all too well the day my mother read my journal aloud to my entire family. I was 17 and, as you can probably imagine, that book was bursting at the seams with embarrassing, angst-laden, mawkish, teenage drama. To say I was mortified … well, that doesn’t begin to describe the way I felt.

Since that day, I’ve always been very respectful of other people’s privacy, in particular my partners’ and, unfortunately, often to my own detriment. I’d listen to suspicious friends’ tales of hacking into their boyfriends’ emails or reading their texts and waste no time voicing my disapproval.
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