Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

22 Things We Never Thought We’d Do For A Man, Until We Did

Romantic Gestures
These 7 things will make her swoon! Guys, take note. Read More »
Dating Fetishes
The 12 most common things women go batty for. Read More »

I saw “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” over the weekend. In 3-D. And I am so not into action movies. Now to be fair, my boyfriend had already bought tickets to “Horrible Bosses” for us, but I found myself wanting to please him since I knew he would much rather watch the Decepticons than Colin Farrell. I called him and suggested we see “Transformers” instead. Well, he jumped on it, returned the original tickets and immediately reserved our seats. “Babe, it’s going to sell out. We have to get there early!” he said, so excited.

Oh, the things we do for love. And lust. And infatuation. (And perhaps desperation, too). Have you ever found yourself doing things you said you would never do for a boyfriend, or a guy you’re dating, or even just a guy you want to date? I posed this question to the rest of The Frisky staff. So, take a moment and stop folding skidmark-stained undies and check out these 22 things we thought we would never do for a man—until we did. Keep reading »

On Sleeping Naked

sleeping naked photo

Last night I did something I’ve never done before: I slept naked, alone, in my bed.

I usually sleep with my window open — there’s a screen, of course — so gusts of wind can circulate in my room. Last night, though, there was not a single gust of wind. It might have been 75 degrees outside at midnight and maybe 80 degrees in my stupid bedroom that doesn’t have air conditioning. I flipped and flopped and wondered how my pillows could possibly feel so warm. At last, I decided the only thing left to do would be to take my pajamas off — my “pajamas” being a summery romper that weighs, at most, three ounces.

Let me be clear about something: I never sleep naked, even if I’m sleeping alongside a dude and even if we just had sex. It feels so … bare to me. I have to wear underwear and pajamas — top and bottom preferably, unless it’s summer and I’m wearing something lighter — or else I can’t fall asleep.

As you can imagine, this has not been such a popular opinion with dudes. Keep reading »

Sweaty Apples, Dance Cards & Dainty Gloves — Dating Rituals From Days Of Yore

Dating is a verifiable mess these days, but oh, it was so much weirder and wilder back in ye olde times (not counting that date you went on with the “Welcome Back Kotter” obsessive). We’ve found some of the more random traditions and customs of days gone by for you to stick your smelly apples into (you’ll see what we mean in a minute)…

Is Porn A Relationship Dealbreaker?

My mother and many of her second-wave feminist peers view pornography as an institutional ill that is degrading to women and damaging to developing sexuality. She believes that the camera-ready angles, waxed and plastic body parts and pervasive depiction of extreme acts as “normal” distort human sexuality and give young porn-viewers a whole bunch of false and dangerous expectations.

My mom is a smart lady, and she’s not wrong. While I agree that some porn (okay, most of it) fits the bill she describes as damaging, I don’t find the filming and viewing of sex acts as objectively offensive. In other words, I think that porn is not inherently problematic, but its content often includes problematic ideas and attitudes. I also believe when viewed as entertainment, porn can be a positive element in the repertoire of adult sexuality, Keep reading »

Girl Talk: We Can’t Be Friends

There’s this (amazing) song on the soundtrack to the (terrible) movie “The Romantics” called “We Can’t Be Friends” by Lenore Scafaria. My favorite lyrics go:

“I want to wear a skirt, I want to make mistakes,
I want to kill you first and then take your name,
I want to tear you apart, I want to make your bed,
I wanna break your heart, I want to break your head,
I guess this means we can’t be friends.”

In the days, weeks and months following a big breakup, I listened to this song on repeat. Every word of it spoke to me (especially the part about breaking his head). We’d said to each other on our first date, moony-eyed, that even if this didn’t grow into anything, we should still be friends.

Two years later, it couldn’t be more obvious that we could not be friends. My friends don’t sneak around behind my back. My friends don’t email me lists of the things they don’t like about me. My friends don’t threaten to throw out my stuff. There’s a hell of a lot of things my ex-boyfriend did that I wouldn’t stand for if one of my girl or guy friends were to do them. Why should I make concessions for acting like a d**k just because we had been in a romantic relationship together? What would that prove?

This cropped up again recently when a guy I’d been going on dates with for about a month ended it with me. Hormones, as I’ll call him, said he didn’t have strong enough romantic feelings or see long-term potential for us. Yadda yadda yadda. That is fine. I understand. I appreciate that he was honest about it. But then Hormones told me that he hoped we could be friends. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Mother Thinks I’m Too Young For A Meaningful Relationship”

I am 23 and halfway through my master’s program. I have been dating my boyfriend, whom I met my senior year in college, for the last year and a half. It has not been easy due to our constantly changing life situations and the fact that we are long distance right now, but we make it work and I see myself with him for the foreseeable future. My mother, however, is very pessimistic about my relationships. Ever since I started dating, she has made me feel like my relationships aren’t “real” because I’m so young. She will say things like, “Well, I don’t think college relationships are meant to work out,” and once when I was going through a rough patch with my guy she encouraged me to go out and meet other guys — not to cheat on him, but to hang out with other guys “as friends” to see if there was any potential. Recently, I mentioned the possibility that he might have to move to California (we live in New York) and she said “Well, it’s only a year, maybe your paths will lead back to one another someday.” She’s done this with every guy I’ve ever dated whether she liked them or not. Is she right? Am I incapable of forging a meaningful, long-lasting relationship at 23? It’s not like I’m marrying the guy. How do I tell her to stop minimizing my relationships? — Can’t Stand Up to Mom

Keep reading »

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