Well, this is a first. Rather than making me roll my eyes and gag, one of the wedding announcements in this weekend’s New York Times not only inspired me, it actually delighted me. Instead of the usual pedigree of good fortune, this announcement read more like a quirky rom-com starring a Lucille Ball look-alike. Besides an impossibly sweet girl-meets-boy story, the marriage of 46-year-old Dixie Feldman to 48-year-old Jeff Laite is a hopeful tale for anyone who’s ever worried that love and marriage is only for the conventional.
A first marriage for both, theirs will be non-traditional not only because they’re past the age of needing new cookware from a gift registry, but because they plan to “maintain separate residences and spend weekends together” (though Dixie herself told me on Twitter “he usually sleeps over four nights a week.”). Just last weekend I was having brunch with some girlfriends and we shared fantasies of having similar arrangements in marriage one day. While I really enjoy living with my husband-to-be and building a home together that’s “ours” and not just “mine or “his,” I daydream of having a second home — a cottage in Vermont or a small Condo in Chicago, maybe — where each of us can go for a weekend or a week or a month and recharge alone. So the union of Dixie and Jeff is a nice reminder that marriage can be whatever you want it to be, look however you want it to look, and often happen when you least expect it. Keep reading »
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Lust is going to make you crazy, as what you thought was happening is going to hightail itself in the opposite direction, making you more confused than ever. Don’t think too much on the past, as what was once true is no longer the case. For now, the only thing you should trust is your future and making things right with yourself again.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You won’t be able to rely on logic this week, as making sense is so last week. Now, it’s time to use your creativity and instincts to plow through responsibilities and any dragging emotional issues you have. Think the softer and more compassionate route and a week from now, you’ll find yourself landing back to reality softly and sweetly.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Your dreamy romantic emotions are going to be taking a turn, this time into a more aggressive realm, where you no longer have to fantasize about those things you want, but actually be able to have them as hard facts. Yes, this is the time to really put yourself on the line and get in charge of how you want to turn it out.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Put your phone on silent, because there’ll be more than a few crazy calls from those closest to you about ridiculous things that’ll be of no bearing to you. While you can strive to be everyone’s best friend, don’t waste your energy on such things because as it goes, this is prime season for you to be on your back, not on the phone.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Someone close to you, or yourself, will be letting down their wall big time and the wave of emotions is expected to be at tsunami levels. Whichever the case, don’t censor yourself. Take this ride for what its worth and let it take you were it will. In the end, at the least, it’ll make you feel refreshed and tighter with that special someone.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
A feeling of restlessness is inevitable and there are only a few things that’ll somewhat calm those nerves. Of course you can always screw your week away, but chances are that might jack your anxiety levels more, as your mind will have the tendency to wander off into bizarre emotional caves from it. Sorry to say, the best thing for you to curl up to this week is a good book.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You can’t give anyone you world right now, but you don’t have to feel bad about it. There is no reason you own anything to anybody, other than yourself right now. Best to rethink commitments you‘ve made and really sort out your emotions in a way that has you feeling good about yourself and back in control. If you can do this on a solo getaway, book the trip right now!
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You shouldn’t have to pretend all is right in your world, no matter whom you’re trying to mislead. The fact is it’ll catch up to you. Besides, there’s no reason to hide the foibles that fill your life, as those are the things that up your steaminess, as it’s the things that challenge you that make you hot — as least in the eyes of the man candy you have on the hook now.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
The friendship part of your love life will be your priority this week, as the focus will turn to the companionship part of your relationship and has you relearning what you found so endearing about the other in the first place. Not to say sex won’t be a part of your week, but certainly not the grand prize.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Apologies from a bonehead from your past will be the highlight of your week, but not so much the satisfaction you’ll win from the obvious grovel, but because you realize how little this will mean to you at the end of the day and how far you’ve come from the seemingly endless torture you once felt over this moronic someone.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Having high-flying ideals and talking a big game isn’t sexy, unless you back it up. As much as you feel and say you want to do what you want, talking won’t make them happen, nor will thinking about it. Action is on the agenda and if you want to save face, this will mean hopping onto the bucking bronco and riding it into the wild unknown.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
The secrets you think you’ve hidden aren’t as inconspicuous as you think and the lies will come out. Drama, heavy emotion and all the mysterious things that have power over you will unravel, throwing you into crisis mode. Whatever, karma is a bitch and you’ll have to deal, but at the least, look forward to a short recovery time.
When you’re single, meeting eligible men can be kind of frustrating. Yes, you can go to bars, try online dating, or stalk pet-owners at the dog park, but if you tried your usual tricks and now feel like you’ve depleted your options, have no fear! We asked 10 women in cities across the country how they met their last boyfriend (and what they did on their first date together) to give you a few new ideas. It looks like we’ll be signing up for acting classes, going to a few baseball games, and watching live wrestling events! Keep reading »
By the time you hit your Saturn Return, the probability that you’ve been on the giving or receiving end of a romantic infidelity is about as high as your credit card debt. But what happens when you’re privy to the less than virtuous activities of a friend or acquaintance’s significant other? The moral conundrum of whether or not to out a cheater is fraught with shoot-the-messenger peril and weighted with Golden Rule considerations. And the potential outcome of ratting out a rat is just as complex and diverse. Should you risk life and limb to unveil the truth or keep your nose out of someone else’s business? Two ladies argue the costs. Keep reading »
A couple weeks ago I addressed the issue of a woman changing her name when she marries. I expressed that although I don’t plan to change my name when I get hitched this summer, I respect and appreciate every woman’s right to choose what’s best for her. I reject the notion some have expressed that when a woman takes her husband’s last name she’s giving up her identity.
But then I had an interesting conversation with my mother recently that added a whole new layer to this name and identity dichotomy. I’ve been working on wedding invitations and I’m in the middle of finalizing a guest list and collecting addresses, so I shot my mom an email to make sure I had the most current addresses of our family members, and I also asked how I should formally address certain people on the envelopes. I figured that my mother and grandmother, being total old-school traditionalists, would prefer to be addressed with their husbands as Mr. and Mrs. TheirHusband’sFirstAndLastName, but I wasn’t sure about everyone else. How, for example, should I address my aunt who’s divorced but retained her married name?
My mother’s reply sort of shocked me. Keep reading »
After posting my most recent “Dating Amelia,” I got a very kind email from a reader asking for advice. I got her permission to answer the question on the site.
“I just recently discovered this website and I found a great deal of affinity for your situation, as I am going through the exact same thing myself. I’ve read your ‘Dating Amelia’ posts and they are inspirational. I do have a question for you though. You seem to have no problem finding men who were interested in you. How did you do this? I never get approached by men and always turn out to be the girl they want to be friends with instead of date. I’m 26, in grad school, a book nerd and average-looking. How can someone like me attract a good man? I admit that I am terrified that I will never be enough for a man (this is the reason my ex said he was leaving, that I wasn’t enough). I’ve been told that I might just have to wait until the men in my age group lower their standards, but I don’t want to be the girl someone just settles for. You seem to be coping with this situation so well and moving on in healthy way. Any advice you can offer would be much appreciated.”
Just as the world is starting to get used to homosexuality, a new type of sexuality is introduced. Today, “Good Morning America” discussed interesting cases in which people love inanimate objects. Yes, we’ve heard of this before with the man who has sex with cars, but now there’s a name: Objectum-Sexuality. Take for instance Erika Eiffel, who had a commitment ceremony and recently changed her name to reflect her bond with the Eiffel Tower. And the French landmark isn’t the first thing she’s loved. “When other teenagers were dating each other,” said Erika, “I was dating a bridge.” [ABC News] Keep reading »
How’s this for a controversial book title? Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped Into The Romantic Dream–And How They’re Paying For It. The book, written by Elizabeth Ford and Daniela Drake — two professionally successful women — argues against marrying only for love and urges women to think about their beau’s pocketbook before walking down the aisle. In the new issue of Marie Claire, the magazine sits down with a brief Q&A with the authors, who back up their argument with some statistical support — women still don’t make as much as men in the workplace and bear more of the burden of child-rearing at the same time. “The juggling act required to be a successful woman, to be a good mom and to be a careerist, makes you want to say, Screw it, I should’ve married for money,” says Ford.
All this has got to make you wonder what Ford and Drake’s marital statuses are — Drake is happily married to someone she married for love, while Ford says, “I married the love of my life when I was 26 years old. Now I’m a single mom and he’s engaged to a girl 15 years younger than me… The bitterness is there.” And I don’t blame her. Unfortunately, as I can attest from almost marrying someone for love (who also happened to HAVE money), there’s no way to prevent or take the burn out of being left brokenhearted. Keep reading »
I have said and/or done the wrong thing so many times that it’s truly the eighth wonder of the world that I ever managed to trick anyone into dating me more than once. There was the time I fell off my chair and farted (loudly) just as my butt hit the ground. Or the guy I leapt away from as he tried to kiss me, gesturing frantically at the giant oozing cold sore on my lip. (I still don’t know how he missed that thing—I’m pretty sure it was visible on Google Earth.)
There are plenty other gems in my arsenal of embarrassment, but who hasn’t had a red-faced moment or ten? I used to beat myself up over these transgressions, but despite my occasionally questionable behavior, most of the men I’ve been out with have forgiven me quite cheerfully. In turn, I’ve turned a blind eye to their missteps and gaffes. What I’ve found is that it comes down to levels and limits. Here are some guidelines.
Keep reading »