How did I miss this masterpiece at the library by author Big Boom? What a funky nom de plume by the way! I look forward to learning more about how to keep my legs closed. [This Isn't Happiness] Keep reading »
I read Eliza Jules’ essay “I Obsessively Monitor My Husband’s Lube Bottle” over at xoJane and was left with this question: Is a partner’s masturbation something we should worry about? The more I’ve thought about it, though, the more I’ve concluded that, for me, I’m at the very opposite end of the spectrum as Jules; I’d be worried if someone I was dating didn’t masturbate, all the more so if I was the cause behind them holding off in the self-love department. I also wouldn’t expect someone’s firmly entrenched patterns of masturbation and porn use, especially if I met them well into their adult life, to change just because they were with me.
I’ll even go so far as to say I would definitely not want to be the sole source of my partner’s masturbation fodder. Part of it? Sure. But imagine the pressure if every single time they jerked off, they were thinking about you. That would creep me out a bit, and while I’m not an expert, I don’t think that’s a realistic goal, especially when you’re talking about long-term relationships. Keep reading »
One of the most frequently asked questions in the world of dating has got to be “If they’re not your significant other, than what the hell are they?” Well, pre-exclusive relationships (or PXRs) don’t have to be a frustrating grey area anymore. Here’s a handy guide to the 9 most common types of PXRs, all converted into abbreviations for easy texting. Keep reading »
Ever since “The Talk” happened, things have been better with Spontaneous Guy than I could have imagined. We’ve been spending more time together, getting to know each other on a deeper level, and continuing to have fun.
“Everything is going great, but I’m still panicking,” I told Dr. Diana during our last meeting.
We spent most of the session trying to unravel what exactly I was panicking about when it came to my relationship with Spontaneous Guy. By the end of the hour we had excavated my biggest anxiety about what could go wrong in a relationship, the fear that has led me to the killer belief that love means someone has to get hurt.
“I am terrified that I will fall in love and he will jump ship suddenly without explanation,” I said, tears forming in my eyes.
“Tell me why,” Dr. Diana asked. Keep reading »
Something no one tells you about sex? A good romp in the sack can be dangerous. No, I’m not talking about potentially deadly sexually transmitted diseases and infections, like HIV. (Although those are dangerous too, obviously.) I’m talking about the rug burn, pulled hair, and the overzealous nipple bite (ow!) that every woman needs to watch out for. And no, a hickey doesn’t count as an “injury.” Keep reading »