• Relationships

Pretty Women Can Be Hard To Be Friends With

Blame my older sister, the kindergarten teacher, but I believe in the Golden Rule. Whether you’re my boss, my intern, my boyfriend or my third-cousin-twice-removed, I will treat you with the same amount of respect as everyone else.

Why am I wired this way? Other kids were really cruel to me from grade school through high school—whether putting Scotch tape in my hair during class, calling me “Cabbage Patch Kid” because of my chubby cheeks, or circulating my name on a list where girls were ranked by their hotness and I was rated 3 out of 10. That stuff made me feel terrible most of the time and I don’t want anyone knowing what that’s like. Instead, I try to be kind to every person, regardless of how popular/attractive/smart they are, and not be a kiss-ass, ever.

It’s striking to me, though, how not being an ass-kisser has ruined my friendships with some very pretty women. In fact, my only friendship Titanics have happened when I’ve stood up to extraordinarily beautiful women and lost out. The Pretty Girl wanted me to play by her rules; I didn’t want to do it, so Pretty Girl read me the friendship riot act and ditched me. Forever. Keep reading »

365 Days In Paris: Bienvenue Chez Mon Blog

Nothing spells quarter-life crisis more than turning your world upside down to move to France without much thought as to how it will affect your career, happiness, relationships, or bank account.

I am about to turn 24 in a few days. And a few days after that, I’m packing up my life into two suitcases (somehow) and moving to Paris for a year. While I don’t quite fit into the mid-twenties bracket when the quarter-life crisis traditionally sets in, I knew about six months ago that it was beginning to happen.

Two years out of college, the regularity of my life had become puzzling. On the one hand, I realized how I was settling in with the idea of being a “grown-up.” On the other, the lack of transitions was starting to get to me. It’s ironic how you spend the first 22 years (if not more) of your life in transition with markers of beginnings and ends. Change, to me, was a comforting constant.

During this two-year period, I began dreaming of Paris. I’d spent my junior year abroad there. It wasn’t the most fantastic year of my life, and I even left the city thinking I’d never be able to live there again, but, yeah, I changed. A lot. Keep reading »

Six Rules For Being Friends With An Ex

So you’ve made it through the horrifying breakup with someone you cared about … now what? To be friends or not to be friends, that is the question. Most of the time I like to make a nice clean break adhering to a “no contact” and “no getting back together” policy. I’ve learned from experience that this is a necessary move for me to heal my ailing heart and move on. In time, I am usually content to be “acquaintances with history,” exchanging an email every once in a while or having friendly drinks with the exes that I still respect. But that’s only after time has passed and I’ve removed the rose-colored glasses that I used to gaze at him through. And, of course, there are the guys that I know I won’t ever see or speak with ever again … those that have committed offenses of the heart too heinous to be forgiven in this lifetime. But it’s not always so black and white. Some people are worth keeping in your life. Keep reading »

For The Week Of August 24-30, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Confusion will make you dizzy, as everyone and their grandmother will spew opinions about your love life. Friends, your subconscious, your neighbors, and even the IT guy at your office will say things that’ll sound significant. However, you don’t have to make a decision right away; so don’t freak yourself out more than necessary. If he can’t wait, he’s not worth it.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

So yeah, you’re social. You like going out, meeting people and, yes, you like to talk. The problem with that this week is your exaggerated words might come back to haunt you. Be prudent with what info you share with not-so-close acquaintances. Sure, shock-value confessions will give you the spotlight, but don’t risk that price to pay. It won’t be worth it.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your patience finally comes to a head, as you get answers you’ve waited ages on. You’ll discover whether your insane optimism is truly a blessing or a curse. Yes, what actually occurs over this week will depend on the tracks you’ve laid in the past. So, if it goes swimmingly, know there is a method to your madness. Otherwise, back to the drawing board and, perhaps, a shrink.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Love won’t be coming to you on a silver platter right now, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t treats to be had. This week it’s all about working it in a new style and with a new agenda. Ask around, call up different friends, and venture off into uncharted territories. The more cunning and adventurous you are, the more surprising the finale will be.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Take the plunge in a big way, like book a foreign adventure with your current boo! Testing your commitment is a big bonus now, as it seems you both have been chomping at the bit to see some indication that there is hope for a future together. There’s nothing like being thrown into the exotic unknown to see how your team work will survive.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

An intense feeling of love and admiration will instantly wash over you for the one you’re with or the one you want to be with — but don’t let that haze blind you into believing that person can walk on water. Seriously, a happy relationship isn’t always about some crazy unconditional state of mind. It’s about respect. Until you master that, stop making more promises than necessary.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

To get an accurate trajectory of your relationship, look to the details — and not with compassion. Sure, he might get the big things right, as in remembering your birthday and being kind to your friends, but if he’s not good with the little things, this is your time to pinch him a little harder to get maximum perfection. A little gentle nudging will bring results.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

As the sign of war, you love a good fight, but this week it can go all-out ugly. So be careful about the battles you choose and how you go about trying to prove your points. A little honey will go a lot farther than vinegar. If you want to actually get some tension-releasing sex out of this deal, it’ll mean throwing in a bit of diplomacy with your snarkiness.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Be ready to jump over obstacles and get creative when it comes to getting the attention of that hot someone you’ve been sweating. This isn’t the time for synchronicity to work in a linear manner and the stakes will be high, so think fast and move faster. The good news is that if you do solve this riddle, your rewards will be plenty.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

No matter how sweet the intentions you share with your baby, it doesn’t always mean you’ll see eye-to-eye on everything. Tastes and experiences will differ from moment to moment and it’ll be up to you to determine if you can negotiate around the situation. Of course, not all journeys will bring back gold. That’s just the way the ball bounces.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Hurry up and say what’s on your mind. You have no more time to lose – get off the fence! If you want to step up to the plate and take responsibilities for your emotions, it’ll mean being courageous enough to claim your prize. Not to say you have to have your whole plan worked out, but at least get the materials to build your dream life.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Batting your eyes and dropping subtle hints is all you have to do to take that next step. If you try to do anything more, you will only regret you’ve made such grand efforts. In this phase of gaining dominance, you only have to be smart and efficient with how you express yourself. A little will go long enough.

Mom’s Narcissism Could Be Ruining Your Love Life

I was raised in a household that revolved around my mother. She was a narcissist, someone who, according to Wendy Behary, director of the Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and author of Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed is “often self-absorbed and preoccupied with a need to achieve the perfect image (recognition, status, or being envied) and have little or no capacity for listening, caring, or understanding the needs of others.” My mom hasn’t been formally diagnosed—few narcissists seek treatment or even recognize that they have a problem—but growing up, the signs were all around me. Read more

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  • Dating Across America: Pet Peeves From Arizona To Virginia

    Finding a boyfriend is only the beginning when it comes to relationship woes. Once you’re in one, you have to deal with another person, including the parts that annoy you despite your love for him. We asked 15 women to dish on what their partners do that completely drives them crazy, and how they’ve learned to cope (or not) with these behaviors.

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    From Here To Eternity: Dangerous Kisses, Illicit Love

    Sometimes a kiss is more than a kiss. Sometimes it turns into friends with benefits, and in some cases, it signals the beginning of a dangerous liaison.

    In the classic movie “From Here to Eternity,” as our DVD Movies Examiner, Charles Wiebe points out, “The scene that will be forever remembered, arguably one of the most famous in the history of cinema; Lancaster and Kerr laying on the beach in an embrace as the surf foams up around them. She responds to his passionate kiss saying ‘I never knew it could be like this!’” Continue reading

    But their’s was illicit love. If you are llying for love and telling yourself that the married man or woman with whom you are involved is really the love of your life — then it is may just be excuse to avoid commitment. Keep reading »

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  • Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

    Things like this happen when you least expect them. There you are on a Saturday morning, doing laundry and listening to your boyfriend sing, “Girls, Girls, Girls” in the shower for the millionth time when you catch a whiff of a perfume that is definitely not yours on his favorite t-shirt. You crane your neck to catch the strains of, “I’m such a good, good boy / I just need a new toy,” and wonder, could he be cheating?

    If you confront your man, and your suspicions are confirmed, will you join the ranks of Hillary Clinton and Tammy Faye Baker to stand by your man? Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis once said, “I do not think there are any men who are faithful to their wives.” Well, John F. Kennedy certainly wasn’t, but do all men have the cheating bug in them? Is a relationship, once soiled with adultery, gone for good? Read more Keep reading »

    I’ve Got The Post-Wedding Blues

    Since our wedding day four weeks ago, my husband and I have been busy writing thank you notes, breaking in our new fancy cookware, and eagerly awaiting pictures from the professional photographer we hired (we certainly had enough pictures from our guests to tide us over until then). On Wednesday evening, we found two disks in the mail from the photographer and we spent almost an hour going through the hundreds of shots she’d taken. When we were done picking out our favorites, re-living some of the best moments of the day, and both exclaiming at least several times “I don’t remember that!” (it really is true what they say about your wedding day being kind of a blur) something I didn’t expect suddenly happened. Keep reading »

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