According to my mom, the three hallmarks of adulthood are appreciating jazz, a taste for cantaloupe, and sleeping in a bed that is larger than a twin. Unfortunately, Mom’s wisdom does not apply to dudes here in New York City, specifically in the arty enclave of Brooklyn, in which I dwell. Sure, they have the jazz and melon part down, but what about the boys whose rooms I’ve stumbled into, ready for action, just to discover that—really? We’re working with a twin-sized bed? Keep reading »
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
If you can put all your thinking aside and the need to be three steps ahead of yourself, then fate will finally be willing to step in and sock it to you with a little something something that’ll make you feel more ravishingly beautiful and shockingly sexy than you have in a while. Yes, this week, control is only something you should embrace after the orgasm.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Being blindsided by secret info that has you thinking of that someone special in a different way may take a few moments to absorb, but once the news settles into place, you’ll realize that what you have in your hands is a hotter and sexier piece than you ever thought before and that keeping off your hands off of him will be nearly impossible.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Striking a new deal is in your stars and pieces of what seemed like an awkward puzzle will start to come together, switching up your routines and turning a new page for you. While the chances of this are for the better, not worst, not all will be as pretty as you’d wish — as there still will be some combative energy to deal with, but think of that tension as your Spanish fly.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Your love life is about to get a big dose of major power that’ll be throwing you into a whirlwind of activity, boosting your stamina and confidence to levels that should have you feeling superior and thrilled to be you. The only thing standing in your way this week in terms romance is you. Don’t be scared to take chances, as the bigger risks you take, the tastier the rewards.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
As much as you try to be cautious, looking in all directions before you take action, it won’t matter because who ever you have on the other line will be pulling plays that’ll surprise you in all the right ways — and as much as you might want to self sabotage yourself in this situation, oh well, not going to happen. The mesmerization will take control and you will (and should) submit.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Unfortunately, words are faster than actions and as much as you’ll be hearing all the right things, your inner cynic won’t be happy that there’s nothing to back it up. Whatever, time to stop holding onto your doubt like a safety vest and realize progress has to start somewhere. Not that you have to give in all the way, but communication is the beginning to all possibilities. Lighten up.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Drama can be fun, but not unless you can take responsibility for yours. While things in your love life might be taking a bit of a wonky path these days, it doesn’t have to mean taking it to the streets to plead your case. Having a sense of privacy will work highly in your favor, as sharing gossip about your relationship won’t be doing any good for anyone, least of all for you.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
There is going to be so much action happening around you, it’ll be smart to keep extra panties in your purse! Seriously, big issues from the past are finally going to be put to rest in a positive way, which will happily surprise you — and with the future wide open, you’ll be in prime position to put it ablaze with all your ideology and determination. Good times.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You comfort zone is about to get a shake up, but thankfully, you will be more than ready to handle it, start putting one foot in front of the next and making excitement happen again. Seems your taste will be taking a big swing to the left and a more dangerous and edgier approach to all matters of the heart will be the only way to turn you out right.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Your instincts will be brewing with all sorts of ideas and fascinations when it comes to your love life, but still the view will be a bit cloudy. Best to let your friends have an opinions on your latest antics, as they can be the seeing eye dog that guides your love life back onto a path where the enlightenment isn’t as perplexing.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
For a split second you might of felt real love, but all of sudden, it seems you aren’t as impressed as you once were and with the haze clearing and your high being worn off, the reality of the situation you find yourself in seems to be a bit more platonic than previously assessed. Oh well, being a heartbreaker is the curse you were born to bear.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Second best is as good as nothing and if that is the motto you keep near and dear to your heart this week, then all will turn out just fantastic. Yes, career accolades are in the stars, as are raises and new responsibilities that’ll fire you up to feel like a woman in full control. With satisfaction like this, expect your libido to be as relentless.
Elisa Baxt recalls one of her first dog dates with her boyfriend; it was on a beautiful spring day, and she and Scott were having lunch at an outdoor cafe, eating salads, and sipping lemonade. Next to them was Elisa’s three-and-a-half-year-old chow-lab mix Cody, chewing on a special order carrot (raw and unpeeled).
“It was a great day,” Elisa said, “and Cody was a great icebreaker. Of course, now, she’s like our child. And we take her everywhere.” Keep reading »
A women wrote to Salon.com’s resident advice columnist, Cary Tennis, and as usual, I was a little confused by his answer. That is to say, I really couldn’t figure out what his answer was. The woman wrote that she met a guy a few months ago on Craigslist’s “Just Friends” section. She was new to town and just looking for someone to hang out with, but it didn’t take long before things between them became a bit more romantic in nature. The problem is that when they were just “platonic,” the guy expressed how much he dislikes like blondes, as well as redheads, and that he’s “really only attracted to brunettes — dark brunettes, with dark brown hair and matching dark features.” Unfortunately, this woman is a strawberry blonde, and now she’s self-conscious about her hair color, especially since every time this guy talks about a “girl he thinks is good-looking, or thought was good-looking in the past or whatever, the issue of how dark her hair was always seems to come up in the same way that a normal guy might mention a woman’s legs.” Oh, and “until relatively recently,” she writes, “he was in an extremely long-term relationship with a girl who matched his “ideal” to a T. But he broke up with her. Then again, he’s also mentioned he’s mildly attracted to his cousin. What the hell is going on?” Keep reading »
Sometimes Bill Cunningham, the New York Times street fashion photographer, takes pictures of French women, and they always look so damn sexy. Granted, the Times is going to choose the best photos, but somehow French women always manage to look more seductive than the average American woman.
Now, it’s silly to stereotype and say that all French women are sexy, but there are definite cultural differences between French women and American women—that’s undeniable. It also seems unarguable that these differences are responsible for that thing French women seem to have. The thing that makes them seem fashionable and cool and charming. Keep reading »
Actually, Simcha, what you’re writing is called a senryu. “Sen-what?” you say? Senryu! Like haiku, senryu (sounds like send-yew) is a 3 line poem that follows the 5-7-5 syllable pattern, but while haiku traditionally focuses on nature-nature, senryu speaks to human nature. As a recent article in “Women’s Health” explains, writing a little senryu is the perfect way to get past a breakup. Simcha got us started with a some senryu already, and after the jump are a few more from some of my own past breakups. Please feel free to leave your own in comments. Together, and with the help of 17 poetic syllables, we’ll help each other through our heartache… Keep reading »
There’s a new online dating site for those women who think size definitely matters. 7OrBetter.com only accepts men who are packing at least seven inches of artillery. The site was conceived under the premise that women want to know what their date is working with before investing too much wasted time. But they can’t exactly ask for that info on the first or second date — so now they can know upfront. But don’t expect any sleazy talk or nudity — because the members are supposed to be “quality” people looking for a “quality” relationship. So, I’m guessing it’s like an eHarmony for above-average men? The one plus is that the site is free. The biggest negative? There are probably about 10 guys for every 1,000 women. There’s no explanation as to how the site guarantees the men’s size, but let’s hope girth is measured, as well as length, because pencils are about as much fun as a stubby crayon. Keep reading »
“I’m a Cancer gal (07/07/1989, born at 12:36 pm), and I recently started dating a Virgo (09/04/1989) that I have known for a number of years. Even though we only got together recently, I have a really good feeling about this relationship. I know I get obsessed easily, but I pretty much feel like he’s y’know… ‘The One.’ He’s also expressed similar feelings for me. So the other night he confided in me that he is still a virgin. Not because he hasn’t had the chance, he just didn’t feel right with the girls he did have chances with. Now, I am not a virgin, but I’ve only slept with three people and can probably count on my fingers (and toes) how many times I have had intercourse. I just worry that he’s not going to stick with the girl he first sticks it to, and is going to want to sow his wild oats later on. Am I freaking out unnecessarily or should I be worried?” – Cancer Gal Keep reading »
As a single person, it sometimes feels as if the world is partial to couples. Perhaps you’re like me—tired of checking that “single” box on your tax return while your married counterparts file jointly and gleefully claim dependents. You see a family buying in bulk at the supermarket and wish you could take such cost-saving measures without having to eat spaghetti every night for a month. Or you wonder what you’d do with the extra cash if your rent was suddenly halved.
Sure, families get tax breaks and cohabitaters have lower living expenses, but there are some financial upsides to being on your own, especially during an economic downturn. The truth is, with fewer responsibilities, singles are freer to take risks and find novel ways of coping with the stress of a Great Recession. Finally, the singletons have some advantages. Keep reading »
Smith, of six-word memoir fame, is doing another story roundup. But instead of micro-digesting your life story, they’ve come up with a new topic that’s even more self-indulgent. You get to blab about your ex! Revenge is ours! Smith‘s giving you 1,500 words to tell your tale online. Now that’s a whole lotta crap you can fling on the internet! I, on the other hand, felt I could best express my tale of relationship woes in haiku-form:
Jen said she saw you
French kissing another man
Huh, I should have guessed
Well, at least my ex is happy now. Do yours in the comments! Keep reading »