Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

For The Week Of November 23-29, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

A little tension can go a long way, if it’s twisted and turned properly. This week, when you and your baby reach a boiling point on a heated topic, it’ll have you thinking he’s a total twit, however, a completely hot twit. His passion and dedication will cast an aura of manliness you’ve never quite witnessed before … seems cause and effect won’t be quite so linear this week.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Your prim and proper image won’t get you far, unless you are willing to show off your dirty dog underneath your white-glove etiquette. Send those dirty texts, those libidinous pictures and a few naughty presents, revealing that side to you that normally would only come out behind close doors. Showing off your sense of humor about sex now is your biggest turn-on and power play.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Remember, you’ve been screwed over enough times when someone has pitched love on an installment plan. The truth is the debt never gets paid and you are typically left with an overly idealistic hope for a miracle to save the day — giving more to compensate and wasting precious time all the while. Sure, it’d be beautiful if it ever worked out, but most of the time it doesn’t.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You have nothing to lose when it comes to playing the game of love. No matter how crazy you want to be, as long as you set the pace in the way you want, you will get that someone to follow. However, be fair when setting the speed, because as it goes, some people do need to build up their momentum to be able to keep up with you.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

There is a fine line between being compassionate and being a sucker. If you wish to not fall prey to the latter, then you will have to toughen up your skin and realize that being stubborn isn’t rude or wrong, but just a fact of relationships, and the only way you will really be able to even the playing field. Not to say it’s about winning; it’s about truly being happy.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Information will be coming at you so fast and often that you won’t even have time to process it all. While it may feel good to go with the flow and make decisions at this pace, don’t. There is way more than meets the eye with this bout of instant gratification and, while you’ll want to say “yes,” understand reading the fine print won’t make you a buzz kill; it’ll make you one smart cookie.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Bolster your class and refinement, as a slew of bitchiness is coming your way from haters who can’t comprehend your congeniality or power. Keep your head held high, because you are in the right here to dole out the slicker condescension and to turn the moment out. Plus, it’ll be in your coldness that you will attract the hotter prospects too, ultimately sending those wenches down.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You never know where you will wind up day-to-day, and that is a beautiful thing. Go with the opportunities that pop up, even if some aren’t as pretty as you’d like. Taking one chance will lead you to another, and link you into a series of divine magic and messes that will make your life a living piece of art.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Intimacy is something you know how to do right, so don’t give up now when your boo needs you the most. When it comes to asking, he isn’t the best. While you don’t like having to revert to the “mommy” role, this time you’ll find your nurturing ways are like gold in his eyes. So help him make that leap of faith — the one who’ll ultimately reap the rewards is you.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Live and laugh, and love whomever you want! This isn’t the time to get too concerned with boundaries and negotiations, as it is about partying with your body and just realizing that you do best without rules. Languishing in your freedom now will be the best thing you can do to remember that you have the power to make the choices you want.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your day-to-day routines change, but your mindset will still be rooted in the same place it ever was. This will force you into a time-out with yourself. You’ll want to reevaluate why you are so hard on others when it comes to intimacy and always wondering why effortless fairy tales that star you aren’t possible. Yes, flaws in your master plans will be blaringly obvious, as will the solutions.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Nobody can shake you now that you’ve made a decision. While you think that you’ve made a tough choice lately, when this week rolls around and you find yourself with new opportunities that can turn the tides, you might find that there are a few flexible bones in you that crave trouble more than you suspected. Last minute changes may just happen.

4 Tips For A Holiday Fling

The holidays are right around the corner, and if egg nog, stuffing and Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” do mysterious things to your libido—fear not. We suffer from the Holiday Friskies, too. We feel your sexually frustrated pain. Whether your parents’ guest bedroom has you aching for another’s or a holiday getaway is in order, there’s nothing like a few guilt-free days off to initiate a bold try with what’s-his-name from high school or that-one-over-there at the resort bar (if you’re fancy). Regardless, the holidays are a perfect time for a no-strings-attached fling. Here are a few ways to make it run exceptionally smooth.
Keep reading »

Love Vandal: Hope In New Orleans

Reader Sarah snapped this photo on a recent trip to Louisiana. “I saw this on one of many (still) abandoned houses on a recent trip to New Orleans,” she wrote us. “It’s a bit hard to make out, but it reads, ‘Even the wounded heart can soar.’ The orange line is part of a mark left by the search and rescue team that entered the house following Hurricane Katrina.”

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to Keep reading »

Five People You Should Never Date

You should have known better. Or maybe you did; you just didn’t care. You’d heard the horror stories and the admonitions: “Don’t date a/you r… ” But some things are easier said than done, and forbidden fruit tastes so much sweeter. Keep reading »

When Snooping Gets Out Of Control

He’s done it before: left me alone in his apartment. But I haven’t done this—until now. It’s not as if these boxes haven’t always been filled with photographs; it’s not as if these leather notebooks weren’t always filled with his handwriting; it’s not as if the evidence hasn’t been lying around, out in the open, just begging for a little attention. But today the itch to explore is a little too itchy, and I guess our love is a little too, uh, lovely—so I’m not even waiting for him to leave. Keep reading »

Dater X: Why Do My Dates Suddenly Feel Like Therapy Sessions?

A year and a half ago, I sat on my therapist’s black leather couch, talking to him about the last few guys I’d gone out with. I’d been on a cold streak—one where I’d meet a guy and be very taken with him, only to never hear from him after our second or third meeting. (Usually, the second. But you already know how I feel about that.) I was starting to ask myself the question that far too many single women ask themselves: Am I doing something wrong? Or worse: Is there something wrong with me? My therapist had a thick European accent, which I liked, since I felt like it gave extra weight to his words. “You present yourself as a strong, accomplished woman,” he said. “I wonder if men sometimes feel intimidated by you.” I practically rolled my eyes. Really, this was his advice? I started to fight him, explaining that I don’t think being accomplished is a problem, and if a guy sees it as such, that’s really his issue.

“I’m not saying don’t be successful,” he said. “I’m wondering if you could show them some of your vulnerability.” Ding ding ding. He was completely right. I didn’t have to pour my soul out to strange men, but I could easily share with them the part of me that wasn’t so sure about everything and that wondered whether I had made the right career decisions, etc. I left his office that day feeling like I had made a breakthrough. But now I think that one conversation may have ruined my dating life. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Should Your Boyfriend Be Your Best Friend?

On my very first date with my boyfriend, I didn’t know if he was going to kiss me. I didn’t know yet that he loves Concord grapes, plays the saxophone and has never seen a Woody Allen movie. But I did know for certain that I wanted this person with whom I’d just eaten dinner to be in my life, somehow. I remember sitting across from him at a table in a Portuguese restaurant, smiling, and thinking, “Whatever happens after this date, I really hope we become friends. You’re cool.”

Flash forward six intense, crazy-in-love months and this man is not only boyfriend — he is my closest friend now, too, the one who knows everything about what goes on with my family, what goes on at work, what weird dreams woke me up in the middle of the night.

And I’m not entirely sure that’s a good thing. Keep reading »

Have You Ever Been In A Girl Fight?

Yesterday, as I was about to get in my usual train car (I’m a creature of habit), I noticed something was amiss. There was a large crowd of about 50 teenagers hovering over two girls who were beating the crap out of each other. This wasn’t your usual hair-pulling-and-scratching kind of girl fight. These girls would have made even the most hardened UFC fighters cringe, as they punched, kicked, and slammed each other. The funny thing is that when they arrived at their stop, the fighting stopped. And as I sat in another train car, I thought: “Well, at least they’re responsible enough to go to school.” I’ve never been in a girl fight, unless you count the times when my bigger and older cousins would beat me up and I would bite them in defense, but we were only toddlers. I went to Catholic schools, where we were watched like hawks and teachers always swooped in before anything came to blows. Once, in high school, these girls had a major fight, miles away from the school, but they were wearing their very recognizable uniforms, and someone called the school and they got in trouble anyway. I think physical fighting just wasn’t worth it for most of my fellow students or me. We developed very witty ways to argue and learned how to curse like sailors instead. But I wonder what other people’s experiences have been. Have you ever been in a girl fight? Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Got Married For Health Insurance

I’d never been one of those girls who’d dreamt about her perfect wedding. The virgin-white dress, the exorbitant costs, the fuss over a big, shiny rock — none of it ever appealed to me. I wanted to find a lifelong partner, and a family sounded nice, too, but honestly? I never cared much about that piece of paper. So why did I just marry my boyfriend after pondering it for a mere two hours? One (evidently all-too-common) reason: health insurance. Keep reading »

When Should You Say “I Love You”?

Some say a woman should never say “I love you” first. Now, research shows that might be a good idea, seeing as it turns out guys say “I love you” first more often than women do. Want to know why? Find out! [Lemondrop] Keep reading »

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