Mike Alvear wrote a two-part series on how to tell a man or a woman he or she is bad in bed. For dudes, he suggests they repeatedly ask their ladies what she likes in bed in hopes she’ll get the hint and ask what he likes. He also advises bringing up the conversation casually while ready the morning paper (not in bed and definitely not just after sex), and telling a woman what you want more of and not less of. For women, he makes the same suggestions, but advises them to have their conversation side-by-side and not face-to-face since, he says, men are intimidated by eye contact. His advice is OK, but it’s a little passive-aggressive. I get that it’s a fine line to tiptoe, but with a gentle touch a little constructive criticism never killed a guy. After the jump, five ways to let your guy know his “skills” leave a little to be desired. Keep reading »
”The last few times we saw each other, we didn’t have sex. Considering we hadn’t seen much of each other, this was totally unacceptable. When we did see each other, we had fun — when we weren’t talking about the multitude of things that were making him feel “meh.” John DeVore referred to him as Eeyore.
“Tiggers should not date Eeyores,” DeVore advised. “Tiggers can date Piglets, Piglets can date Pooh Bears, Pooh Bears can date Eeyores. Piglets and Roos can date, but Pooh Bears and Tiggers cannot.”
“OH MY GOD, SO TRUE!” I exclaimed. Now where the f**k is my Piglet?
The other thing that ended it was sparking with someone else. Things with the Sneakerhead could end tomorrow – nothing surprises me these days – but the point is, I am sparking! Spark, spark, spark! With another person! Even as time distances me from my breakup, I wonder if I could meet someone to have that special bond with again. Sparks remind me that I can.
When I told Chick Parm that I thought we should just be friends, he responded, “I agree.”
You agree? That was too easy! It’s not that I expected a fight, but he had been such a limp noodle, such a wet blanket for the last few weeks, nay, months, that I thought he would be as mopey at the prospect of our oh-so-comfortable relationship changing. Wasn’t this supposed to be the moment when he had an epiphany and realized how insanely awesome I am? That I was kick ass? That he would never have a better roasted chicken with brussel sprouts in his life? But Simcha set me straight.
“Amelia,” she said. “He’s been along for the ride since the beginning. Why would you expect anything different?”
Basisnote and Scientific Match are developing technology that will hook people up based on their immune systems and odor. Studies have shown how a person smells is based in their immune system, and people are attracted to the odor of those who have different histocompatibility genes, the genetic components of the human immune system, than their own. Dating someone with a different immune system than yours is beneficial in the long run if the two of you decide to procreate. But in the short term this seems like another dating site gimmick. Both of these sites purport to let nature take its course by letting people’s noses make the decision for them, but they have a rather unnatural hand in getting the couple together because they match men and women to people who have opposite immune systems. [Discovery News]
We don’t plan on joining either of these sites because they take the fun out of dating, but we might try the following sites (some real, some imagined) instead. Keep reading »
“I’m a Scorpio (11/9/84 at 3:08pm) and the guy in question is a Pisces (3/15/84 at 4:26pm). I met him three years ago, and we dated for nine months. We ended up breaking up because he wasn’t able to juggle school, work, friendships and a girlfriend. Since then we have stayed really good friends. Last summer, after about 19 months, we started hooking up again, no strings attached. The problem is, I have been in love with him since the beginning. We both admit there is some strong connection between us, but I’m confused. He stated once before that he was afraid to get back with me because he didn’t want it to end badly and ruin our friendship. We often get into fights that are beyond heated and passionate, only to be fine with each other a few hours later, even if one of us has said we are walking away forever. Things have recently become more confusing since he started hooking up with a much older Gemini woman. Are we a match that will eventually work out when he gets over himself or am I wasting my breath?” – Optimistic Scorpio Keep reading »
Love seems elusive. Sure, we’ve loved and been in love, but we’ve never known exactly why or how it happens, or if we love one person differently than another. But that could soon change. Writer A.J. Jacobs underwent an MRI while looking at photos of his wife and Angelina Jolie so scientists could study his brain activity. They believe love is the result of a “chemical cocktail,” as Jacobs calls it, based on a person’s sex drive, and feelings of attachment.
I love this quirky animated video, directed by Julia Pott and constructed from interviews with friends about first crushes, which, of course, got me thinking about some of my own first encounters with (usually unrequited) love. In first grade, there was Steven, whose name I used to write with my finger on fogged-up windows and mirrors, always enclosing it inside a heart. He was in love with Jennifer, who had the most enviable, super-long, silky hair. I tried to grow mine like hers, but my mother had it cut in a bob right before summer break, when I got glasses and my big, buck front teeth grew in. I think it was years before anyone had a crush on me. Keep reading »
Last week I had a new OK Cupid date, this time with someone who fit my type. You see, I have a type that I wish were my type: guys in plaid, guys who are sensitive, guys who look like they’d be friends with Ryan Gosling, guys who are over 5’9″. And then I have my real type: the guy who I’m inexplicably drawn to and drawn to me, too. This type of guy is dark-haired, under 5’9″, and extremely confident.
This latest guy (let’s call him the Sneakerhead) fit my type to a T, but he had some bonus features: a cool sneaker collection (you can tell a lot about a guy by his shoes), a good tan (a product of his half-Argentinian ancestry), he was a hip-hop fan, and he wears glasses. Oh, and he has a tattoo. And he doesn’t have a doughboy body. He’s my real type, plus perfection. Keep reading »
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Doors you thought closed forever start to open; changes are in store. Be ready to keep a slow pace to make the most of these opportunities, as they’ll be delicate to begin with, but if you just stroke it right in those soft little ways of yours, you’ll find magic that’ll eventually explode. Patience is your key to paradise.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Time to get giddy all over again. Seems a wave of sentiment and all that drives your imagination will be sparking up again in a whole new way that it hasn’t in a few months. Whether this is with someone you are already with or a new someone, it’ll be one of those week when it’ll feel like you have beer goggles on, even when you’re completely sober.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Forget trying to make sense of anything, because you’d only be wasting time. Best to just jump on the crazy bandwagon and ride with the freaks and weirdoes to new sites and witness a new slice of life. Screw control, it’s only held you back in the past and if there is something to be learned now, it’s to embrace the ridiculous and enjoy the openness humility brings.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
As the song says, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one your with.” As it goes, this week is going to be one of those times you have to be romantic and settle for who ever you can cast into the role. Although you have ideals; remember, you also have a great imagination. If this means having to mentally makeover someone to fit your needs, for now, realize it’ll do.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Get your summer plans in order now and give yourself some inspiration. Everyone needs a carrot on the stick to work towards and as it goes, there is nothing so delicious for you — but that doesn’t mean there can’t be. Book a trip now or make some kind of adventurous plan, as it’ll most auspicious set the lusty energy into proper motion.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
All your rules are about to go out the window, as this week someone will shock your little mind and heart into submission in whole new way that’ll miraculously work for you, making you feel deeper shades of hotness that you never quite felt before. Seems there is someone out there smart, exciting and cute enough.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
It’s time for a showdown on domestic issues. If you are single and living alone, then this won’t be as intense for you and it might even make you happier to be single. If are co-habiting, then expect petty arguments and just all round aggravating passive aggressive behavior that isn’t sexy on either side of the fence. While you might love him, this week you won’t like him.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
As long as you can keep a dialogue going, that is all you need to do this week. Forget trying to make any major decisions, because this is the time you will be seeing all sides of the fence and wanting to explore all. To be able to have you cake and eat it too will mean knowing how to charm cool and persuasively. Think slight of hand, but with words.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Collect numbers and play your little games. This week, your flirty side will be in top form and it won’t be wasted on lame people either. Yes, karma is back in action in your romance sector and this will move stagnant emotions once again. Just don’t be too shocked when someone you never suspected will be able to heat things up just a bit hotter than expected.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
New ideas will inspire and your more adventurous side will be waiting to stir. However, this isn’t the time to dart off and go without a plan, because if you want what you want, then strategy and super sleuth skills are necessary in nailing that special someone just the way you want — and as it goes these days, your presentation will be what you are judged on the most.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
If you have been dying to ask that more-than-just-a-booty-call about where your relationship is heading, this is your time. Karma is back on track, to help you get answers you deserve. No more being in the dark, unless you want. However, fearing the worst is far worse than just dealing with whatever you have to. As it goes, you’ll never know, unless you ask.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Friends are a major factor this week, as they are the gateway to profound wisdom and opportunities. If ever there was a time to bury the hatchet with everyone and do a little ass kissing, it’s now. Even those frenemies that you have on speed dial to gloat to can be helpful in surprising ways, as this week getting laid is a wacky numbers game.