Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

11 Signs You’re In Lust

I don’t know much about the big L-O-V-E, but I do know quite a bit about luv. There is just something so fun about the reckless abandon of a fresh romance. Forget your holiday champagne buzz, nothing compares to the high of going butt crazy for a guy! But a lot of times, when you start dating someone you like, you can’t tell if he’s just a cool dude or a super spectacular stud who is sweeping you off your feet. How do you know you’re in lust? Find out after the jump!

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Why I Like Her And Not You

There’s a short brunette with dimples, and we catch eyes. I go for short brunettes with dimples all the time. Short, dimpled brunettes rule. Yet her polished, frosted-blonde friend, clutching a Manhattan, calls to me. I like everything about the brunette, but I ask the blonde out.

A week later, I’m at dinner with Frosted. Turns out, she’s casually racist.

I’ve got this close female friend who always asks me why the hell I chose to approach one girl over another girl, when one is clearly better for me in every way and probably wouldn’t deny the Holocaust before she got her entree.

It’s a valid question: All things being equal, why do guys choose one woman over another? Read more Keep reading »

Debate This: Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater?

This debate ran on The Frisky a year ago. Given the Tiger Woods controversy, we’ve decided to re-run it, so that the readers we’ve gained since can chime in.

We’ve all heard some variation on the maxim “once a cheater, always a cheater.” In my personal experience, the decision to heed or not to heed said aphorism seems directly related to just how sprung one is on the guy in question. But nine times out of ten, the truth will come out. And that truth generally involves a wandering eye.

I’m not the only one who thinks so. Relationship expert Dr. Gilda Carle, who’s written a book on the matter, How to Win When Your Mate Cheats, thinks that without the genuine desire to reform and a good therapist, a habitual cheater is doomed to repeat him- (or her-) self: “If they’re willing to put in the time and effort and acknowledge they have an issue, then there’s a chance they won’t cheat again. But if they think, ‘I can get away with this. My father was like this, my uncle was like this, all my buddies are this way,’ then you don’t have a shot in hell of reforming this guy. And no woman should try to reform a guy anyway because it’s a lost cause.” Of course, every relationship is different. Take a gander at two women who represent both sides of the debate, after the jump …
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Dear Wendy: “My Girlfriend Cheated. How Do I Move On?”

I have just ended a long-distance relationship. We both agreed at the time of the breakup that circumstances wouldn’t allow our relationship to continue. I cared about her deeply, but that wasn’t enough for her, and I understood her point. The relationship was passionate, and I believed we both loved each other. However, I found out through some common friends that she had started cheating on me at least a week before she broke it off, and lied about it while ending it, pretending to still care about me. She was going to continue doing this behind my back. I want to confront her about this, but I can’t betray my friend’s trust. I want her to know she did something wrong, that she passed on a chance at real happiness, but I know it’s over because I can’t love her anymore. What should I do? What is the proper etiquette for confronting an ex over indiscretions learned after the relationship is over? It is hard for me to let this go. — FrustratedEx

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Girl Talk: A Shiksa Does JDate

I do things on impulse: I bought a $250 pair of high heels I didn’t need, I pierced my tongue, and two years ago, when a Jewish co-worker/yenta promised I could meet my beshert for $40 a month, I joined the Jewish dating site JDate that very night. The thing is, though, I’m not Jewish. Not even “halfsies.” Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Would You Outsource Your Love Life To A Virtual Assistant?

I am a huge fan of online dating. I met my long-term boyfriend on Nerve.com and the majority of the weddings I’ve been to over the past few years have been between people who met online. Though I still have friends who are reluctant to try it (you know who you are!), I encourage every single person looking for love to give it a whirl.

But even I raised an eyebrow last year when I read writer/comedian Carrie Seim’s NY Post story on how she entrusted her love life to a virtual assistant in India. It’s one thing to weed out dudes using their blurry photos and attempts at wit; it’s quite another to have some stranger pick your dates for you. After suffering through too many disastrous fix-ups, I even stopped letting my friends set me up. Keep reading »

Love Vandal: Labor Of Love

Reader Amelia sent us this picture, saying, “You can’t really see it in the photo, but this tag has been repainted every time it starts to wear away. I walk by it every day and have noticed its various incarnations, and finally decided to take a photo.”

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Stay With My Sick Boyfriend?”

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about four months. The past couple weeks, he’s been getting sick pretty often and his doctor hasn’t figured out what’s wrong with him. At first, we thought it might be the flu, but it seems like it could be something worse. I’ve noticed that since he started feeling ill, he’s been more reserved and even more distant. His libido dropped and he’s tired often. I remember before all this, we used to go out and have a lot fun together. I don’t even mind particularly if I come over and help him out while he’s feeling down and maybe just cuddle and watch a movie, but it’s definitely not the same. I used to be happier. What’s really killing me is the emotional distance. He used to call me almost everyday but now it’s much less often. In any other situation, I would say we’ve grown apart and should end things, but I’m wondering if (and perhaps hoping that) this is due to the sickness. My question is: should I stick with him and try extra hard to reach out and support him? I can compromise on going out, having sex and dealing with his energy level, but I still need some attention. How often should I call and offer to spend time with him before just giving up? Call me old fashioned, but I usually take it as bad sign if I’m the one initiating the majority of plans, but [this] situation has me thrown for a loop. — Florence Nightingale

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Girl Talk: Cleo, The Breakup Kitten

Jesse was too attention-starved. Brendan was too spacey. Darrick was too needy, not to mention a big-time conservative. But for the first few years of my relationship with Chuck, he didn’t seem to have a fatal flaw. Sure, he was allergic to cats, but that hardly seemed like a dealbreaker. It wasn’t until the three-and-a-half year mark that my usual relationship doubts kicked in. Was he too pessimistic for me? Too introverted? Too stuck in his own ways?

When we broke up a few months later, there was no big flame-out or slamming of doors—just the mutual acknowledgment that we were no longer right for each other. Still, I was devastated. After 48 hours of eating the proverbial Haagen-Dazs, I found myself walking the 13 blocks to the ASPCA Adoption Center on New York’s Upper East Side. For the past four years, Chuck’s allergies had barred me from getting a cat. Now I was ready to adopt one—the longer the hair, the better. Keep reading »

How To Rethink Your Dating Strategy

There’s a great article on Huffington Post this week about the mistakes smart women make when it comes to dating. The article’s written by Dr. Alex Benzer, who regularly runs young alumni events for numerous Ivy League universities. But don’t worry, his advice applies to all women, brainiacs or not. After the jump, let’s take a look at what many of us are doing wrong and how we can increase our chances of finding the right person … or at the very least make the dating game a little more fun to play. Keep reading »

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