Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Soapbox: On Withholding Sex As Punishment

After I started giving blowjobs to my high school boyfriend, I soon became aware of my newfound sexual power. I had something he wanted. For a 16-year-old girl stuck in a lot of circumstances she had no control over, the tangibility of that power felt amazing.

Then my high school boo and I were joking around, he did something to razz me, and I told him teasingly, “No blowjobs for a week for you as punishment!”

The teasing tone vanished. He became serious — and seriously angry. “Don’t threaten me like that,” he said in a stern voice. “You can’t control me with threats.”

“I was teasing,” I insisted, though I immediately felt guilty for seeming like I may have been using my sexual power to control him. I never know what’s OK to joke about and what’s not; I never have. “I’m not seriously not going to give you blowjobs for a week. Jesus.”

That was over 10 years ago and I’ve long since chalked the conversation up to 16-year-old stupidity. That is, until I heard last night that some adult women actually do punish their men by withholding sex. Keep reading »

11 Guys You Should Hook Up With In College

11 Guys You Shouldn Hook Up With During College
Although it’s not a required college course, hooking up — in a safe, empowering way — is an extracurricular activity we fully endorse as a valued part of your higher learning experience. With that in mind, we have some recommendations for your hookup research, a boy syllabus, if you will for Schooled Week. After the jump, the 11 guys that we recommend gettin’ it on with — at least once if you have the chance — during your college career.

“Cathy” Is Alive And Well On Facebook And Twitter

Above, recently retired cartoon heroine Cathy. But the words are not hers (as penned by cartoonist Cathy Guisewite); no, they’re words I wrote on Twitter recently. You see, I am convinced that Cathy — over-the-top archetype of sad single gals in their 30s — is alive and well in the Facebook status updates and Twitter feeds of many gals like me. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Want To Be A Stepmom

I was having dinner with my friend Ryan* last week. He was telling me about a “really good date” he went on.

“So when are you going to see her again?” I asked.

“I’m not,” he replied very matter-of-factly. “She has a kid.”

I almost smacked him with my breadstick. Of all the unfair reasons to not to give someone a chance, that seemed the stupidest of all to me. If she had a crack habit, smelled like soup, or had long armpit hair, I would have understood. But a child? Keep reading »

Are White Bridesmaid Dresses A Thing Now?

A few years back, one of my friends was having a hard time with the fact that her younger sister was getting married. She felt self-conscious about being dateless to the big event, and so anguished about buying a hot dress to wear. When she emailed me a photo of a dress she finally felt good about, I gasped. It was white and strapless. How do I tell her that it is totally inappropriate to wear white since that, duh, is the color her sister will be wearing? I thought. In the end, I told her it was lovely but suggested that she talk to her sister about it as soon as possible. Her sister flipped. A fight ensued.

So I’m very surprised that recently, two very high profile brides have chosen to put their maids of honor in white. Keep reading »

What Is A “Stayover” Relationship?

Relationship trend alert! Nestled in the grey area between friends with benefits and living together is what experts are calling the “stayover” relationship. A new study done at the University of Missouri discovered a new kind of relationship common among college educated adults ages 18 to 29. It is what it sounds like, two people who are in a relationship stay over at each other’s places a few nights a week, take all their crap with them when they go, and rinse and repeat until the arrangement is no longer convenient. These couples keep each other’s beds warm for now with no intention of necessarily keeping them warm in the future. Keep reading »

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