Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dear Wendy: “Should My Boyfriend And I Move To A Third World Country Together?”

I’m 21 and have been offered the opportunity to work in a rural area of a third world country. I will be doing something not very glamorous — necessary work for the project, but not the most exciting thing ever. I am very ambivalent as to whether I should accept it — I don’t speak the language, have no particular ties to this country, and am unsure if I would enjoy this opportunity. However, it would be a different experience and very unique. I would appreciate your level-headed thinking on this matter. In addition, I have a boyfriend of over two years. We have a great relationship and love each other deeply. He has offered to move to this country with me. He has few things tying him to our current location and has also expressed that he would be willing to follow me to other areas of the continental U.S., etc. My question is: is this a good idea? My heart says yes. It would ease my mind greatly if we didn’t have to worry about the long-distance relationship factor. I’ve mentioned potential obstacles, but he brushes it off as, basically, it doesn’t matter; he wants to be with me. What do you think? If I take this opportunity, I would want him to come, but I’m worried about what might happen. What if he hates it? What if he can’t find a job? I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to see him all that often. Please help! — First World Dilemma

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5 Reasons Why Having A Plant Is Better Than Having A Boyfriend

I don’t have a dog … or a boyfriend. Once upon a time, I had both. This is not a country song by the way, I am going to take this in a different direction so stick with me. If I did have a dog, I might be writing about all the wonderful ways my imaginary dog, Sprinkles, enhances my life in the absence of a man. But Sprinkles is just a dog I met on the street while her real owner was walking her. And my landlord doesn’t allow pets in the building anyway. So that’s neither here nor there. For now, I’ll have to bestow all my loving praise upon my very cherished succulent, Curly (pictured left). A loyal plant can bring much joy to a single ladies’ life. Curly has been with me now for almost four years and I feel like we have a very solid relationship. After the jump, some reasons why having a plant is better than having a boyfriend. Keep reading »

Debate This: Do You Need Your Parents To Approve Of Your Significant Other?

On last night’s episode of “The Bachelorette,” the four remaining bachelors took Ashley home to meet their families. You can read all about the details of the episode in Kate’s recap, but the thing that stuck out most to me was the fact that each of the guys made sure to emphasize just how essential it was that their families approved of Ashley. And if they didn’t? Each dude seem to imply that not getting the thumbs up from mom, dad, and their siblings would make pursuing a more serious relationship impossible.

This was fascinating to me. There’s no doubt that having your parents like — and even love — your significant other is a wonderful thing, but I don’t know that it’s essential for me. Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: I Wasn’t Jewish Enough

I never thought I’d be the type of woman to date a religious guy.

A Reform Jew by upbringing, my family ate bagels, lox, and pickled herring on Sundays, lit our Menorah every Hanukkah, and sat through services on the High Holy Days. I learned how to pronounce the word afikomen. My mom referred to my face as a beautiful punim and hoped that someday I would meet a nice mensch and get married. Throughout elementary and middle school, I attended Hebrew school, but mostly for the social rather than the religious aspect. The most exciting part of my Bat Mitzvah, I’m ashamed to admit, was the lavish reception I had in my temple’s ballroom complete with street dancers, a DJ, and gourmet buffet. After I had opened the last of my Bat Mitzvah gifts, I left organized Judaism to pursue more free-spirited religious activities of the bohemian/New Age persuasion. It wasn’t that I stopped believing in the Jewish faith — though I’m not sure I ever completely bought the doctrine — it was just that it never moved me. Keep reading »

5 Rules For Happier Hunting In The World Of Online Dating

I’ve been online dating and I have not met my one true love, my soul mate, my Prince Charming, my knight in shining armor, or my other half. You may consider this a failure, but by my metrics, it’s going just fine. I’ve met fascinating, attractive, intelligent, opinionated, funny people and enjoyed a ridiculous range of conversation over a delicious assortment of snacks and beverages.

I have a lot of male friends who are online dating as well, and I’ve learned that the rules are a little different for straight dudes. What follows are some suggestions for gentleman who want to meet some ladies from the safety of their living rooms. Caveat #1: I cannot speak for all ladies dating online, I can only speak for myself. That said, my advice is aimed at men who want to appeal to the set of women whose profile features more than a bikini pic. Caveat #2: This is not advice to get you laid. Keep reading »

Limerence: A Psychological Condition To Describe A Crush That Won’t Go Away

My senior year of college, I fell head over heels in love (or so I thought) for the first time. Aaron* and I had an on-and-off friends with benefits type situation that I kept hoping would evolve into more. It didn’t and I probably should have stopped hooking up with him because it really wasn’t benefitting me mentally. But I just couldn’t. Not being with him literally made me sick. I thought about him almost constantly, completely involuntarily. The obsessive thoughts continued even after I graduated and moved to New York, when having a FWB relationship wasn’t even possible. I would think about him while I was at work, while I was on the subway, before I went to bed at night, all the time. In total, my mind and heart’s obsession with him lasted for three goddamn years. Sounds kind of crazy, right?

Turns out, my crush may have actually been a sign of a rare psychological disorder called “limerence,” in which someone “is in a constant state of compulsory longing for another person.” Keep reading »

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