If you are single and out in the dating trenches, then you know how absurd and post-modern the whole fiasco has become with the invention of the internet. Wanna find love? Head to Match.com. Wanna tell that special someone how you feel? Send them a Gchat. When I go out with a new guy, I find myself asking ridiculous questions like, “How’s our email chemistry?” or “Can I date him if he doesn’t text?” I barely know how to react anymore when a dude calls me on the phone, so I seriously think my head might explode if I ever received a hand-written letter. I was totally born in the wrong century. I want a long courtship complete with calligraphied love notes, white gloves, red roses, and a carriage ride…you know, Jane Austen style. I know, I’ll keep dreaming. This is why I’m kind of obsessed with a new blog, Advertising for Love, started by Rutgers student Pam Epstein, while working on a dissertation about the transformation of love and marriage in nineteenth century America. Pam found a bunch of personal ads from that time period and was so charmed by them that she felt the need to share. Thank you, Pam. Now I can really see if dating was better in the 1800s. Here are some of my favorite selections. [Advertising for Love] Keep reading »
I’m a 21-year-old Virgo and this guy I’ve been seeing is a 21-year-old Gemini. Things have been good off and on since last November. We haven’t been exclusively dating because he wants to take things slowly and he just got out of an off/on again relationship with another Virgo. He warned me that he is pretty much a typical Gemini. We get along great and we communicate very well… when we want to. We both have a tendency to hide things, but these days things have been really open between the two of us. He and I broke up twice in the first three months of dating. (I dumped him the second time because he wanted to date other people.) Keep reading »
There’s this scene in “He’s Just Not That Into You” — the point to which most Tough Love posts will eventually return — when Justin Long tells Ginnifer Goodwin that she’s special, she’s an exception to the rule. It’s all very sweet and there’s crying and hugging and a bit of kissing and that all distracts you for a moment from the fact that it’s utter bulls**t.
You see, you are not special and rule-defying, unique in your ability to change someone chronically terrible into a nice, devoted guy. This is not to say that you aren’t special in other ways, merely that the expectation that you’d be able to subvert ages-old male behavioral patterns is quite a lot to ask of yourself. When you read it, this should seem fairly obvious. And yet I continue to field weepy calls and enraged emails from a whole slew of women absolutely shocked that their personal awesomeness wasn’t enough to change a guy completely.
Most mystifying of all are the girls who poach their boyfriends from other women and are then shocked when said guy goes on to cheat on them with someone else. Did you really not see this coming? Keep reading »
Yesterday, my friend George* told me about an argument he had with his best friend Elliott. Elliott recently uploaded photos of his killer abs to a social networking site, so he was contacted by several women trying to hookup with him. And the other night, he was eager to meet one of these women. The only problem is he lives with the mother of his son, even though they’re not together, so he couldn’t bring the woman home. This is where George enters the picture. Elliott, who is in his 30s, not only expected George to turn his living room into a hot-sheet motel for the night, but also to pick him and the woman up, separately, because Elliott doesn’t drive. George didn’t give in to his demands. Keep reading »
I love my best friend, I love my boyfriend. These two people who hold such special places in my heart should love each other like I love them. In theory, if I have enough in common with both of them to have such a strong bond with each, shouldn’t the two of them also have the potential to form a real relationship with each other? It should be an all out love fest whenever the three of us get together…except it’s not. ‘Tis sad but true, my best friend and boyfriend do not quite get along. If I am honest with myself, I could have easily foreseen this. All they have in common with each other is me. Keep reading »
A guy friend told me last month that despite his ability to meet women when he’s out, he has several online dating profiles. He, like some of my other friends, suggested I set up an account on Match.com or its equivalent now that I’ve reentered the dating scene after several years.
Honesty is always the best policy… except when you lead a double life as a porn star. Haylie Hocking thought she knew everything about her fiancé, personal trainer Jason Brake. The 27-year-old bride was just weeks away from her wedding when she discovered Jason spent more time in the buff than getting buff. Haylie’s friend started searching online for a male stripper for the bachelorette party and came across a video of a man who seriously resembled Jason getting raunchy with another woman. Turns out, Jason was a porn star on the side, and wasn’t training people in the gym like he told Haylie. Not surprisingly, Haylie canceled the big day. Hey, nobody wants to introduce Mr. Porno as their husband, at least not without a little warning. [Telegraph]
Oh, but Haylie is not the only one to discover something shocking about her significant other. After the jump, other people whose jaws hit the floor when they found out the truth. Keep reading »
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Love will rain down from the skies onto you, be willing to go with the flow. Seems you will be on the fast track to being the most popular girl in the zodiac this week, as people will come out of the woodwork to help you and people you never suspected will shower you with kindness. Call it karma or call it a cosmic fluke, whichever, take full advantage!
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Dealing with authority is not your thing and anyone trying to usurp the power on you is a major buzz kill. However, this week, someone will know just the right way to straddle their will onto you, showing you that there are some delightful ways to feel the burn and that second in command is actually the one with the real power.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Your spiritual nature will be working overtime; making you strive higher for your ideals as compromising choices will seem tempting. This is your time to fight your inner lazy freak and realize that what you can get and what you have aren’t syncing up and if you want that to happen, it’ll mean taking a bold step in the right, but harder direction.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Your world is about to get cozier, as intimacy heats up between you and certain someone, breaking down barriers suddenly. Seems there is way more than meets the eye, which will shock, amaze and turn you on a few more notches. Of course, this should be a two-way street, so get ready with throw some skeletons of yours out of your closet too. Overall, hotness this week!
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Deals are going to be made and you will be sailing on a lot smoother of a current with your baby, as this is your week that all will finally start to go into perfect balance. If by chance, something dramatic happens instead, putting you into challenge mode, trust it and push hard through it. As it goes, the passion you give is the passion you get.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
If you and your baby can be a support team for each other and kick bad habits a la deux, then consider that nasty routine of yours over, as it’ll take two to make miracles happen. Of course, if you can’t see to working on a team for that greater good, then this is the time to seriously work through group dynamic issues, because this week it’s all about creating perfection.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Anything is possible, as the stars are shining their spotlight onto you and showing off to the world your hotness in its magnitude. Don’t be shy, play up the part and reveal all that you are. There is no such thing as being shy this week, as taking big chances pay off and prove to you that brilliance is in your blood.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
If you’re in a serious relationship, this is the week to meet his parents or if you’ve met them, then expect to deal with them in some way now. If you’re single, then put your efforts into feng shui-ing your house to help in revving your priorities. Whatever the case, home and family are under the gun, be a good girl and sort it out.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
What you hear is what isn’t what you’ll get. Yes, this is going to be one of those wobbly weeks where no one is going to be too upfront and reading in-between the lines is necessary to get any peace of mind. However, the good news is that the reason this is happening, in your love life, is that certain someone is lacking the balls to just flat out say he’s nuts for you.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Take a financial plunge together and make it happen. Instead of dipping your toes into a commitment, mean what you say. Sure, you’ve made mistakes before and it’s scarred you, but if you live any other way, you’d only be lying to yourself. Besides, isn’t wondering all the consequences to every scary action one of your favorite pastimes? Don’t deny the pleasure!
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Make a wish and send it out there into the universe. This is your time when luck will be infusing your life in the most magical ways, making you do a double take on the people around you and especially the prospects. Seems there is a lot you have to be grateful for, but unless you show it, it’ll be as good as nothing.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Fate has a funny way of nudging you in the right direction, if you are willing to let something bigger than yourself take charge. If you are willing, this is the week to give it a try and let yourself be dazzled by surprises that’ll prove to you that you are exactly where you are suppose to and with whom you are meant to be with…at least for now.
Dating to find the right person, i.e. kind, mentally healthy,and moderately good-looking, can be real challenge. So many nicely wrapped packages end up holding a lump of coal. Or a big pile of poo.
I thought I’d share several types to watch out for in the dating lottery game. Warning: not all bad ‘uns come stamped with “Loser” across their forehead. Too bad for us little girls getting our hearts broke. Again.
We’ll start with some lightweights (revealed in less than three dates) and work our way up to the big stinker (can suck up years of your life). Keep reading »
If you’re a woman in your mid-thirties, the dating scene is challenging enough. You’re conscious of feeling older, wrinkles become a reality, and you feel like your stock value as a potential wife has started to head south faster than the housing market. So in the past year, I decided it was high time I met a fabulous man. Keep reading »