An oldie, but goodie from Simcha. We thought we’d re-post as we continue to care about your sexual satisfaction this Turkey Day … especially if you’re single and horny. — Editor
Surviving the holidays is always stressful. And if you’re single, it’s the perfect time to eff the pain away! Thanksgiving weekend provides a few days to hunt for hotties—especially if you’re traveling somewhere. But even if you’re stuck home alone, make sure you take full advantage of all the seasonal action by following these tips for getting some gravy on Thanksgiving! Keep reading »
Thanksgiving can really suck when you’re single. I should know, I’ve flown solo to six consecutive turkey dinners. A few years ago, when I thought I was going to have my first coupled-up T-day in ages, I got dumped out-of-the-blue two days before. To add insult to injury, my parents, who had planned to spend the holiday with me in NYC, had to cancel their trip because my dad was seriously ill. I ended up sitting on a semi-stranger’s floor, heartbroken and lonely, eating turkey off a television tray. It should have been miserable, but against all odds, I ended up having a really good time.
That’s when I decided that, for me, Thanksgiving is the day that I make the best of whatever s**t sandwich life hands me. It’s when I roll glass half-full. Instead of sulking over my stuffing, I prefer to try to make the holiday (gasp!) fun. I can choose to feel like a displaced orphan, sleeping on a cot while my brother and his wife take my Serta Perfect Sleeper mattress in MY old bedroom, or I can be the footloose, fancy-free chef happily getting sauced while preparing my favorite “Recipes For Lazy People.” After the jump, 10 reasons I’m thankful to be single (again) this turkey day. Keep reading »
Ah, pregnancy. It’s a beautiful time, isn’t it? The little life you have growing inside of you, the glow you get, the skinny jeans and generous glasses of pinot noir you have to eschew. Okay, so perhaps what I should have said is pregnancy is both a beautiful and frustrating/ugly/weird time. Don’t get me wrong, I feel incredibly grateful to be carrying a baby inside me — and a healthy one at that — but, I cannot tell a lie: There are some real pain-in-the-ass things about being knocked up.
Here are 20 things that really suck about being preggers. Read more…
“So, this is awkward,” said the email from my friend, the bride. “But I’ve decided to keep my bridesmaids to just really close friends.”
She had three bridesmaids. I was the third. Apparently, she only had two really close friends, and I was not one of them.
“Wait,” I wrote back. “Why?”
“I don’t really feel like I need to explain myself to you,” she replied.
Oh. Keep reading »
Mining my life for sexual material wasn’t entirely new. I’d written, after all, about my sex life in various publications and even penned an extremely graphic novel chapter about a guy masturbating to a picture of a girl he liked and read it at Rachel Kramer Bussel’s now-defunct reading series, “In The Flesh.”
But that scene was funny more than it was dirty. Besides, it wasn’t about me. Plus I’d abandoned that novel halfway through so it never saw the light of day.
In the books I’d published, I’d somehow avoided sex. My mother even commented at one point that the sex scenes in my books were more coitus interruptus than actual coitus. Keep reading »
When I was a kid, I thought “sex” was two people peeing on each other. Like, I imagined you got in a bed naked and cuddled for so long that inevitably you would have to pee. But instead of getting up to pee, you just “let go” and peed together, in the bed. This romantic notion just made sense in my eight-year-old brain. Keep reading »