• Relationships

Dear Wendy: Being Alone Is Better Than Being With A Loser

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and we have lived together almost that long. The relationship moved fast, we have known each other since college and stayed in touch on and off. He was not boyfriend material back then because he was a bit of a player and could not be trusted, but now we’re both 28 and, finally, last year we decided to start a relationship. Things began over phone/text because we lived four hours apart. He was super sweet and said very romantic things which I completely fell for… At the time he had two jobs and seemed to be a hard-working guy with lots of friends. He did not have a great job, but at the time I was like who cares, everyone takes their own path to their goals in life. He entered the army last fall to help him finance finishing college and went to boot camp in GA. He lasted a month, decided it was not for him and moved in with me. This is when I feel like the truth came out … he went from having two jobs and working hard to being unemployed for months, spending most of what money he had on movies, and buying drinks for friends when we went out. Eventually got a job and now he pays cable, electric bills. While we do get along and have stuff in common, I find myself questioning his basic character and ability to man up and face problems without running from them. If I were 24, I would probably have already broken up with him. At 28, I feel like I may end up alone if I do not find some kind of relationship … Help! — Bummed in Boston

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15 Signs You’re Over Your Ex

Last week I started a discussion about how long it takes to get over an ex. Answers varied, of course, depending on lots of different factors, and some people even admitted they weren’t sure whether they’d ever get over an ex. While we may not be there now, most of us can remember a time when we wondered the very same thing. Fortunately, time really does heal most wounds and eventually the fog lifts and the day comes when you realize, suddenly, you’re gloriously, blessedly, wonderfully, finally over him! That day doesn’t come without warning, of course. There are always signs you’re moving on. After the jump, 15 ways to know you’re over an ex. Keep reading »

Decode My Dream: My Mother Is Missing Or Dead!

I’m a sophomore in college and recently moved back to school two hours away from my home. I keep having dreams where I can’t find my mother, she gets lost, or in the worst cases, she dies. I’ve never had more real or painful dreams before. When she dies I collapse in my dream and am overcome with grief and tears. My crying is so real I wake up and continue to cry until I get a hold of myself and realize it was just a dream. I keep getting more and more paranoid that my dreams will get worse or are insight into something deeper. Help! – Mother Lover

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Poll: How Much Do You Drink On A First Date?

How much do you drink on a first date?

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30 Things A Woman Should Not Try Before 30

Our editor Amelia is turning 30 in a few short weeks and her essay on the subject really resonated with Frisky readers, both younger and older than 30. With that in mind, we’ll be reposting our “30 Before 30″ series, which originally ran late last year, over the next few weeks. Enjoy!

We’ve talked a lot about the things you should know and do before turning the big 3-0, but until now, we have yet to discuss the things you’d be crazy to try before your 30th birthday. While you may be in a rush to squeeze in as many adventures and escapades as you can before the clock strikes midnight and the curtain drops on your 20s, there are quite a few things you’d be a total fool to willfully experience. After the jump, 30 things you should not try before turning 30*… Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I Want More From My F**k Buddy”

When I first met my good buddy, Zac, three years ago, I had a huge crush on him, but he let me know he didn’t feel the same and the feeling eventually went away. We’ve been on good terms since then, and recently we decided to become f**k buddies. Things have been going alright, and we really haven’t been experiencing any of the usual problems associated with the friends with benefits situation. The thing is, I sometimes want a more intimate relationship. I get the urge to just hug him or kiss him or the want to be held by him, and I look forward to the times we get to be alone together, even if we’re just watching tv and doing homework (we’re roommates too — easy booty call). I’ve started having daydreams about him, and I know it’s a bad move but I feel myself slipping back into the old crush habit.

He’s always given very mixed signals to me, one of the things that led to problems between us earlier in our friendship when I wanted things to move in a more steady direction with him but he turned me down. Our level of sexual chemistry is extremely high, and we’re so close on a friendship level that I feel like I almost want more. Am I being naive in thinking and hoping that a sex buddy could turn into something more? I don’t know whether to bring it up and risk ruining what we already share, let it go and keep heading down this path, or cutting it off before I get my heart broken. — More Than A Buddy

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365 Days In Paris: Great Ex-Pectations

I haven’t been much of a believer in gut instincts until now. I’m one of those neurotic, analytical, thinks-too-much girls who tends to question her reasoning and feelings. But in the past few months, I’ve let go and gone solely on the gut. It’s what made me leave my job in New York and what brought me to Paris (so, thanks, Gut). And last Tuesday night, as I was rushing to my date with TDH (the tall, dark, and handsome Frenchman whom I met through friends), my gut was telling me, “This is not a good idea. This isn’t going to go well.” Keep reading »

Would You Tell Your BFF If You Slept With Her Ex?

Perhaps the better question isn’t whether you would tell your BFF that you slept with her ex, but whether you’d sleep with her ex in the first place. And maybe a more interesting question is: how would you react if your best friend confessed she slept with your ex? A woman writing to the Daily Mail’s advice columnist, Rowan Pelling, may find out the answer to that very question. In her letter to Pelling, she writes:

Six months ago, my best friend split up with her boyfriend of five years. She was desperately in love with him and heartbroken when he told her the relationship was over. I never thought they were ideally suited (neither did most of their friends) and wasn’t surprised that he told her he didn’t love her enough to marry her. A few weeks ago, I went to a party where my friend’s ex was also a guest. He talked to me all night, we danced and ended up going home together and having incredible sex. He says he’s always found me attractive and wanted to tell me years ago. We have amazing chemistry and if he were any other man we would be dating by now. But I know my best friend would be devastated. I’ve always told her everything, but now I feel too guilty to lift the phone for a chat. What should I do?

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For The Week Of November 2-8, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Seems still waters do run deep, as circumstances that you didn’t think were really moving along will give you a jolt of surprise when confessions start to pour in and emotions you didn’t suspect were there are, in fact, there. This will turn you a bit topsy-turvy. Your instincts will kick into autopilot. Get ready for a cliffhanger kind of week.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Image matters to you. Not to say you are totally superficial, but you do believe the way someone holds him/herself is not just on the surface – you think what shines from the inside should be powerful enough to negate the flaws on the outside. Of course, these little tensions have a strange way of turning you on and, well, sometimes you have to dig deeper to find the beauty within.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

There will be a major moment of clarity when it comes to your feelings for that special someone and knowing what you are willing to lay on the line. Seems transformations are in store, and to get that ball rolling, fate will throw you a crazy oddball surprise – one that’ll assure you that your current state of affairs is truly on the up-and-up.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

End your boring routines this week. You know what works for you and what doesn’t. Trying to make any more excuses is directing your energy the wrong way. Be bold and be willing to start to make those changes that will effectively lay down the foundation to a lifestyle more your speed. If this means changing up the scenery altogether, do it for your libido.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You will be acting out in all sorts of ways that may make you unrecognizable to even yourself. Instead of going the loner route, trying to sort out crazy emotions that seem to erupt suddenly, ride it out. Hit the town and have fun with this new side of you. This will help you unleash pent-up emotions and teach you that being safe won’t get you laid.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’ll be in a more serious mindset, which will make you dive into an introspective mood. However, what you will discover is that emotions from the past are not as dead and buried as you thought. With nagging sentiment lurking about, be ready to dig deep into your psyche to sort through the mess. Yes, this is your week for the full exorcism that will finally set you free, once and for all.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Loosen up those lips and let the words pour out of your mouth. Realize your hopes and ideals are within arms’ reach and make the efforts to make that stretch. Although you do think the world should come to you, there is no time to be petty about who should do what and sticking to roles. Be progressive: your body will thank you for it.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Who cares how much pride you are going to have to fork over if it means your redemption? It’s never too late to win back something you’ve lost, especially if it’s holding you back from moving ahead. Yeah, groveling and backtracking are not your speed, but to show you care, humility will be as effective as Spanish Fly.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

As long as you can stand your ground and be pushy with your agenda, it’ll work wonders in the sexy bravado category. It will captivate your boo more intensely and get him to do as you say. If you’re single, don’t waste any of your mystique on lying around at home in your grubbies. Work it where you can and watch your love life take a turn into more exquisite territory.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

There is nothing wrong with living in fantasy land, but don’t think that you have to be the only one steering the wheels. Give that someone who has the imagination to keep up the chance to co-pilot the ride. While this will require you to give up some of your control freak tendencies, realize you’re not always the one with all the good ideas.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You can run and you can hide, but it’ll only buy you time. The inevitable is coming and there’s nothing you can do. The more you resist your emotions and the situation you’ve gotten yourself in, the more dismal other parts of your life will get, as your focus and anxiety levels will suffer. Get real with yourself and step up to the plate already — not everyone is out to burn you.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Put your foot down and let him know where your boundaries lie. The nurturing route is sweet, but not everyone responds to the soft touch; obviously, by now you see he doesn’t. This time, it’s all about tough love and doling it out as you see fit. Besides, as you should know by now, breaking out the whip is your most effective method to getting want you want.

Love Vandal: Sing It, Diana!

Reader Susanna snapped this in Denton, TX.

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com. Keep reading »

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