Remember that abortion party we told you about? The general reaction to that little shindig was, um, “Appalled!” But, as I’ve never heard of one before, I don’t think it’s an indication of a trend. However, one aspect to the story did inspire another conversation about how much say a man should have in a woman’s decision to keep or terminate a pregnancy. Keep reading »
To help women tackle the well-known problems they have in their relationships with men, there are a number of popular TV shows, Web sites, newsletters, and self-help books that attempt to discuss what men are all about, and purport to help women understand men better. Women — generally being the more insightful and self-effacing gender — write the majority of these self-help tomes, so a man’s perspective is conspicuously missing. In my opinion (and with no disrespect intended toward those female writers), it doesn’t matter how a woman analyzes and assesses men’s societal ills, or how many focus groups she holds; she is still not a man… and she never will be. She is attempting to interpret men; her data-driven research is internalized and offered solely from a woman’s point of view, and thus incomplete. There is no choice but for her views to be skewed, because they’re based on the following societal program/lie: Women are responsible for the problems in relationships, and must fix them. But that is completely inaccurate, and is one of the reasons I offer the following insights into the world of men from a man’s point of view … as a man who has been on both sides of the fence — womanizer turned dedicated husband and father. Keep reading »
I’ve been doing the online dating thing for a while. Match, Nerve, JDate, OkCupid, you name it. Generally, I’m a fan. (It feels sort of like shopping for boys, no?) That said, there’s also a lot about it that never fails to appall me. Namely, what guys seem to think is attractive, funny, or sexy in their profiles. For some of these men, the dealbreaker can be small—that moment when you’re checking him out, and all is going well until you scroll down to see that one off-putting thing and it’s click, on to the next. Then of course, there are the all-around disaster cases where everything from the picture to the description is horrifically wrong.
How many times have you been out with a foxy new someone only to have him do or say something that made your stomach lurch—and not in an I-wanna-make-babies-with-him-now way. Maybe he was nasty to your waiter. Perhaps it was more subtle—he snickered when you tripped or didn’t introduce you to the attractive “friend” you ran into. Then again, maybe there was nothing you could articulate, but he just felt off. How many times have you ignored that feeling?
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I (1/22/89) have been in and out of a serious relationship with my ex (3/04/88) for almost two years. We hit it off right away, but I was leaving for a few months and he didn’t want to do a long distant thing. We dated anyway and things got very serious. After I left, he visited and asked me out. I tried to keep the relationship light, despite my feelings, because I was young and we were far away. However, the biggest problem was he had mood swings and got really nasty. We had one big fight and broke up, but he said he still had feelings for me. We continued to date without having a title because he did not want to. Keep reading »
If anyone ever had a reason not to get back with an ex, I did. He was the quintessential on-and-off Bad Boyfriend and not only were all my friends painfully aware of this fact, when he dumped me on the same day my father died (think Jessica and Tony birthday sitch x 10), then again after a similar life tragedy, it had finally become clear to me as well. I moved on fast. Literally days after he’d hit me with yet another, “I can’t do this anymore,” I somehow managed to enter into a relationship with a man who was easygoing and ridiculously sweet, so I hardly had time to mourn. I wouldn’t normally recommend rebounding as a heartbreak cure-all, but in this case it definitely helped remind me that the ex was Not. For. Me. My work was exciting, glamorous and rewarding. I was in my early-to-mid 20s. I had amazing friends. I lived in New York. Things were kind of perfect. I was so much happier without my ex.
That’s when he began to stalk me. Keep reading »
Coming from a divorced family, I have spent my life questioning the idea of a life-long commitment. Most of the adults I know have been divorced at least once, and of the couples who are still married, most of them (along with their kids) appear miserable. And so, while I would love to find a companion whose company I will enjoy “’til death do us part,” I’ve learned from observation that this just might not be a realistic goal. And is it so horrible to think that maybe we weren’t supposed to spend our entire lives with one person? Is traditional marriage the best — or only — way?
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