I’ll never forget the first time I met the mother of a particular ex-boyfriend. We were vacationing together in the South of France (glamorous locale, yes, but not the place you want to spend a week with your boyfriend’s family!) and I was sort of stunned by the physical relationship between my then-boyfriend and his mother. I should say they’re from a different cultural background than I (they’re Middle Eastern) and maybe that was part of it, but they literally could NOT keep their hands off each other. They hugged, kissed on the lips, caressed each other. It was seriously bizarre. At one point, my ex-boyfriend’s mother even talked about his “golden penis” (over dinner!) — a term she said was some kind of figure of speech in their culture. Um, ohhhkay. Needless to say, it was trés uncomfortable for me and when we broke up several months later it was with much relief that I realized I’d never have to endure another mother-son make-out fest ever again. Remembering all this, I read today’s letter in Salon’s advice column with a lot of empathy. Read it yourself after the jump. Keep reading »
Reader Grace snapped this photo during a family trip to Paris last summer. “I live in a moderately big town in the northeastern United States and most of the vandalism here just consists of people tagging buildings or scrawling up gang signs,” she wrote us. “There was a lot of that type in Paris, too, but a good portion of the graffiti was worth stopping to photograph, including this one taken in the 4th Arrondissement.” Isn’t this stencil of famous lovers Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin magnifique?
In a recent Salon article, Mary Elizabeth Williams challenges the idea that women and men can’t be friends. Because, as you might know, there’s been a rumor going around that straight women and straight men can never be friends, since sex always gets in the way. Supposedly, the best options ladies have for companions are among their own gender (or gay dudes). As films like “The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants” demonstrate, female bonds are some of the strongest. But does that make male/female friendships doomed and worthless? No! Keep reading »
Compared with the rest of the Western World, American relationships and marriages are suffering the most during the recession, according to a recent international poll. Almost 30 percent of Americans said the recession has caused stress and strain in their relationships — or completely ruined them. However, only 23 percent of Canadians, 24 percent of the French, and 12 percent of Germans have had similar experiences.
OK, already, I get it. The economic crisis has really sucked. More women are choosing to sell their bodies or their eggs to make ends meet. Dudes are living at home longer. And next year, the Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute Gala is going to be downsized. Can researchers stop conducting these polls and studies without offering any solutions? [Reuters] Keep reading »
“Be careful who you cheat on” isn’t a famous, old adage, but it should be, because some scorned women go freaking crazy trying to get revenge on unfaithful spouses. Just last night, a 67-year-old woman in Queens, NY, woke up at 6 a.m., boiled a pot of water, and poured it on her husband’s private parts, leaving him with second- and third-degree burns from his knees to his abdomen. Oyinda Ojofeitimi told police she had recently learned her husband of 20 years had been unfaithful. “She was hurt and angry that after all this time married, he was stepping out on her,” a police source told the New York Daily News. “She wanted to shut down that possibility forever because he had treated her with such contempt.” Ojofeitimi then regretted what she had done and called 911, but that’s not really enough, is it? She has been arrested on assault charges. This isn’t the first time (and it certainly won’t be the last) that a woman has retaliated against her cheating husband. After the jump, a hall of fame for scorned women. Keep reading »
God, I hate the term “date night” and I was pretty sure there wasn’t a lamer phrase in a relationship until I read this article about one couple’s “trash night.” Trash night, you see is the time, twice a week (Mondays and Thursdays), when Therese Borchard has sex with her husband. It also happens to be the night the couple takes their garbage to the curb, quite literally. Therese didn’t plan it that way, but tired of her husband’s “constant begging for sex,” she asked him: “What is the minimal number of times a week that you need sex in order to be satisfied?” He told her: “Twice. Absolute minimum.” And she replied: “Fine. You get Monday and Thursday. If you don’t beg any other night.” It was only later than it occurred to her that Mondays and Thursdays happen to be trash night in their neighborhood, the evening everyone hauls their garbage to the curb before it’s collected at 5 a.m. the next morning. Keep reading »
This weekend, The New York Post ran a piece by author Lucinda Rosenfeld called “Why Women Are Frenemies.” Rosenfeld has a book coming out that’s related to the topic called I’m So Happy for You: A Novel About Best Friends, and in her essay she implies that the root of most female frenemy relationships is jealousy. I like Rosenfeld’s writing — she’s best known for What She Saw — but I’m a little resistant to the notion that all women engage in these “frenemy”-type relationships, and that if they DO have them, it all comes down to being jealous. She writes:
“For girls in their early 20s, rivalries tend to revolve around beauty and the attention of men. Later, it becomes easy to measure your lot in life (against that of your best friends) by the size of your wedding ring, the square footage of your apartment, the number of zeros in your or your husband or partner’s salary, and whether or not your kids got into a gifted-and-talented program.”
Really? I don’t have any frenemies I can think of, though I do have a few friends who occasionally grate on my nerves. But anyone who would ever fall on a list of enemies — even just for an hour or a day — is not someone I think I would call a friend to begin with. To find out just how true Rosenfeld’s theory is, I asked some fellow women about their experiences with “frenemies.” Keep reading »
I am an Aries (3/28/89 at 4:25 a.m.) and the guy is a Libra (10/2/1987). We’ve been dating for two years. However, since late last year, he has been having what I call an “early life crisis.” He wants to hang out with his friends and he restarted his friendship with an ex-girlfriend; there is hardly time for us anymore. Our last conversation became heated when we didn’t listen to what each other had to say. I ranted about how I felt about the direction of our relationship, but the conversation soured quickly. He wants to “figure things out.”
He is learning to grow up on his own after a difficult life with his family. He understands that our relationship has become problematic, and he repeatedly explains that he’s just confused on the direction of his life. I’ve been really patient with him for the past couple months, but I do not know how much longer I can be. I’d like to sit down and talk things out with him, but there’s no effort by him to do so. I feel conflicted on what to do — can we reconcile as a couple or are we better off on our own separate ways? – Confused Aries Keep reading »