• Relationships

Girl Talk: Am I Really That Special?

My boyfriend is 10 years older than me. We’re in love and it’s awesome. There are many, many perks to dating a dude who is older, some of which you can read here. But there’s one tiny downfall, at least for me. In his 40 years on earth, my devastatingly handsome boyfriend has had more than his share of girlfriends and has been in love a handful of times. This is probably totally normal and not a cause for, uh, concern for most 30-year-old women, who have likely had many relationships in their lives too. Unfortunately, I haven’t and his vast relationship experience makes me feel like I’m somehow not as special as I’d like to be. Keep reading »

Fun With Family: Roman Polanski Ruined My Thanksgiving

Well, sort of. The director was at the center of an argument between my brother and I that started almost as soon as we sat down for Thanksgiving dinner.

[For reference: Polanski was apprehended by Swiss authorities, after he fled the United States in 1977 before he could be sentenced for having "unlawful sex with a minor," a lesser charge than the original six, which Polanski pled guilty to. (He was originally charged with "rape by use of drugs, perversion, sodomy, lewd and lascivious act upon a child under 14, and furnishing a controlled substance to a minor.") Polanski fled the country before sentencing upon learning that the judge was planning on giving him jail time, despite the recommendations of a probation report and psychiatric evaluation, which both indicated that Polanski should be released on time served. For the record, Polanski served only 42 days out of the initial 90 before being released and making a break for his native France.]

I just assumed my brother shared my opinion that Polanski should be locked in jail and the key thrown away. When he didn’t — and said that Polanski should be released because he wasn’t a serial predator, that the judge in the case was on a witch hunt, and that the 13-year-old girl whom Polanski had sex with had “consented” and “maybe even took the drugs on her own” — I basically lost my shizz. Was my own flesh and blood not only being a rape apologist but victim-blaming as well? Keep reading »

Were You Turkey Dropped This Weekend?

If your relationship ended over the long Thanksgiving weekend, you’re not alone. The Thanksgiving breakup is such a common phenomenon it even has a name: the turkey drop. Carly MacLeod, a junior at Washington University and the “romance columnist” at the student paper, tells NPR that turkey drops are often the result of long-distance college relationships reaching a boiling point during freshmen’s first real vacation home after leaving for school. She explains that after three months of living apart, making new friends, creating new lives, and stressing over upcoming finals, former high school sweethearts see each other again and realize they don’t want to be together anymore. “Go home, hook up and break up is pretty much the pattern,” MacLeod says. Keep reading »

For The Week Of November 30-December 6, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Who cares what happens behind closed doors? Let go of judgments and dare to give into your curiosities. This is your time to free yourself from the rules you’ve placed on yourself and explore the possibilities. No one is asking for more than you can give, so be kind to yourself and dip your toes into the unknown. Besides, it’s those naughty little secrets that’ll turn another on the most.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You won’t win if you keep comparing yourself to everyone around you. Plus, you won’t be able to be objective right now anyway, as you’ve been too busy blowing up the image of others around you. Instead of beating yourself up, trust that you have a good thing and where you are is exactly where you’re supposed to be — but if you don’t start setting sights higher, you will get left behind.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Drama and love don’t have to go hand-in-hand. While some obstacles are unavoidable, be prudent with what you are buying as excuses. Sure, it takes work to be in a relationship, but sacrificing your pride and testing your patience don’t qualify as such. Draw the line between abuse and understanding and get a leg up on your love life immediately.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Let your idealism run away with you and expect more than you imagined. The only way to get what you want in life is to aim high. If you keep short-changing yourself, thinking no one can give you that fantasy, then you might as well throw in the towel. But this week, things are going to change; though, you must set the target with a vision for all to come into your line of fire.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Think back to the vivid dreams you’ve had or pay attention to the ones you’ll have this week, because as it goes, your psychic powers will be in sharp form and could reveal one of the hidden mysteries that have kept you wondering. To make the most of it and to be your own psychic hotline, before you go to bed, focus on your dilemma of choice and then dream away the answers.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

A new hope is around the corner, so don’t give up yet. Chances are a twist in your current love story line is about to happen, throwing you in a maddening passion that will have you exploring all sorts of extremes you never thought you would. Seems the magic of love or the very strong power of lust will be taking you far out of your comfort zone.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Give those jealous haters their day now and let them think what you want. Don’t you worry, darling — you will get the last laugh! Be patient with what fate deals you now, as the cards in your current hand might not be so great, but they’re helping you perfect your game and problem-solve. When it comes down to it, you’re the one risking the most – and you’ll be the one to win it all.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Keep your momentum up by putting yourself out there and showing off your stuff. Even if you’re attached, working your flirt muscles will do wonders for your esteem, as it’ll give you the heat to come back home and reignite things the way you once thought they should be but got too lazy to maintain. If single, be obvious — it’s the only way to feel the burn.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Scrap all that you know. Work from the gut instead. Spontaneity and feeling the moment are your friends now, opening you up to opportunities you never knew existed. Throw caution to the wind and take the consequences as they come. Not to say this will bring you all the riches you desire, but it’ll change up your point of view enough to see that new possibilities are out there.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You can’t fight magic when it happens, so don’t even try to talk yourself out of a invite that comes this week, as this leap of faith will be what opens your eyes to a whole new way of looking at someone who’s been in your life. Take a risk, no matter what others are saying, and prove them wrong — this is your week to do all the things you love in a truly shocking style.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Intimacy doesn’t always happen the way you envision and the longer you hold on to the way you think things should be, as opposed to how the actually are, you will lose out. Yes, time to scrap your stubbornness, as it will be your downfall. Time to loosen up the reins and give yourself some slack. Besides, hasn’t that old ideal of perfection you’ve held on to let you down enough?

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

There are many sides to your affections and revealing them all can be quite a shock to another’s system. But if you have the right catch on the hook, opening up will stimulate him to reveal all his secrets, which will play quite nicely into making the next step of your courtship even more intriguingly dangerous and devilish.

I Was Another Woman

I am not the “other woman.” I am “another woman.” How do these two differ you ask? Well, if I were the other woman, the guy I’m “dating” would be in a committed, monogamous relationship with a woman and I’d be the one he was hiding and sneaking around with. But that is not the case at all. He is not in a committed relationship. He does not have a girlfriend. He just happens to be in a non-committal, non-monogamous relationship with me and another woman. The kicker is that I and the other woman know each other. She and I are not friends at all. We don’t travel in the same circles. Oddly enough, he is the one who introduced us to each other. Yes, I know what you are thinking right now. “What! This girl is crazy, off her rocker to be in this situation!” But please, before you judge let me explain how this situation came about. Keep reading »

How Do You Deal With Relationship Deception?

A recent writer to an advice column on TODAYShow.com admitted she never loved her husband, purposely broke up his previous relationship and only married him for financial gain. The woman, who described herself as a “good, moral Christian lady,” said her husband recently found out her tricks and now wants to divorce her. Geez, no surprise there. Obviously, this is an extreme case of dishonest behavior in a partnership. But we spoke with psychologists who say even the faintest of fibs can lead a relationship down a bad path. Read more

Keep reading »

Family Fun Or Family Feud? How To Handle This Thanksgiving

The first line of the Tolstoy classic Anna Karenina reads “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” – and the category your family falls into could make or break your Thanksgiving holiday. It’s often said that family gatherings bring out the worst in people, and every year, advice pours in on how to handle yours. Here’s a little bit of help this holiday season, whether you are happy or otherwise.

Keep reading »

Diary Of A Disabled Woman Seeking Love

I was a horrible liar, and we both knew it, but I had no choice. There was no possible way I could tell him that when I reached into his coat pocket and took his hand—to this day the only bold, romantic gesture I have ever made—it was because I thought he wanted me to.

“You’re just doing that as a friend, right?” He asked, sheepishly.

“Yeah. It, uh, helps with balancing.” Keep reading »

How To Tactfully Hit On A Cute Guy At Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving is a time to spend with family and friends. Sometimes this family event may have an unexpected guest: a cute, single guy. When such a treat comes your way, seize the moment in a feminine, ladylike fashion.

Seating. Right away, you will want to be seated next to this hottie; however, this is a bad idea. A major part of flirting is conversation and body language. Both of these are difficult to display if you’re sitting side by side. Try positioning yourself across from him for the best effect.

Introductions. If introductions have not been made before reaching the table, take this as an opportunity to place yourself on his radar. Before you take your seat, introduce yourself and offer him your hand to shake. When he shakes your hand, hold his gaze and smile. You should disengage from the handshake first so you don’t come on too strong (a girl who won’t let go is creepy). Glance down as you take your seat, then back up again at him with a slight smile on your lips and in your eyes. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: How To Ex-orcise Him From Your Life

In the classic scary flick “The Exorcist,” when young Regan McNeil’s mom wanted to banish the devil from inside her daughter, she had to call in the God Squad. The result was all sorts of profanity, a generous helping of projectile vomit, and several unpleasant deaths.

Once the devil was cast out, Regan and her mom moved to a new city; after all, who wants to live where the devil once did? Unfortunately, not all of us can afford a change of locale after a traumatic experience, like, say, a breakup. Short of jetting off to Bali and drowning your heartache in fruity cocktails, the quickest way to exorcise someone from your heart is by ridding yourself of all the bad juju—and debris—that a rough breakup can leave in its wake. Keep reading »

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