Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Sends Dirty Texts To Girls He Meets Online”

I have this great boyfriend. We live together, he is never not able to be found, he buys great gifts for me and my daughter. He does home improvements to my home, mows my lawn and constantly tells me that he loves and adores me. And his family is great to me and my daughter too. Here’s the kicker. I know for a fact (because I snoop) that he goes online and meets girls. He gives out his number and corresponds with them, but as far as I can tell, he never really meets up with them. How can he when we are together all the time? He never has guy friends that he goes out with. He never goes out with anyone but me. When he is home, he keeps his phone turned off so I can’t see/hear who is calling. BTW: He’s a cop and works the midnight shift. I have caught him before sending dirty texts to girls that he says are friends (that I guess he meets online) and tells me this is no worse than using a 900 number. I think he does it just for sexual stimulation. Since I found this out, he has blocked texting on his phone for me. Part of me wants to dump him, but on the other hand, he is really good to me. If I didn’t snoop, I would have no reason to question his whereabouts or his love for me. Is this kind of behavior acceptable? Am I dealing with a nut? Or am I crazy to put up with it? I feel like anyone I meet will have some sort of issues that I will have to deal with, and they may not be as good to me as he is. — Cop’s Girlfriend

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6 Lessons From My Last Breakup That Are Getting Me Through This One

Amazing! Getting your heart broken does not have to be the worst thing in the world. After ending my most recent relationship last week, I’ve found myself bouncing back in rather good shape, due in no small part to the lessons I learned from having my heart broken once before. The breakup with my fiance over a year ago was the first real huge kick to the stomach I’d ever experienced and it taught me six things that made coping this time so much easier. Keep reading »

Book Excerpt: The Mysterious Appeal Of The Grubby Glow

There are two kinds of nights out on the town:

  1. The nights you plan a big night out, when you shower, you shave, you wax, you pluck, you blow out your hair, slip into your sexiest heels, and suck in your stomach so you can squeeze into your cleavage-baring, skin-hugging, make-a-guy-melt top.
  2. Those lazy nights when you haven’t shaved your legs, you’re still wearing the T-shirt you woke up in paired with jeans you haven’t washed in weeks, and all you have time to do with your hair is pull it into a low ponytail so people can’t tell how greasy it is.

Now here’s the quiz: Which night are you going to end up kissing a hot guy in a dark corner who wants to take you home to rip off your clothes and ravage you? Say it with me everyone—the answer is 2. Like the gravitational pull of the moon that causes the tides to ebb and flow, there is a strong and as-yet-unmeasured power that pulls men toward you when you’re really not ready for it. This, my friends, is the mysterious appeal of the Grubby Glow. Keep reading »

Debate This: Should A Failed Relationship Ever Get A Reboot?

Watching the recently released Nancy Meyers flick “It’s Complicated” got me thinking: Wow, Meryl Streep has beautiful skin. It also got me thinking about the notion of a relationship reboot. Not to be confused with backsliding, where you ill-advisedly reconnect with a very recent ex after a breakup, the reboot presupposes that a goodly amount of time has passed, as it did in the movie when two middle-aged divorcees tried to give it another go after ten years apart. It’s no surprise that the relationship reboot has become a rom-com trope – it fulfills a fantasy that a lot of us have about the “what ifs” of relationships that have ended for one reason or another, and exploits hopeful ideas of personal growth and fate. There’s an undeniable allure and romance to reviving those lost loves, but does it work in practice? Or is it true that everything ends for a reason? Two women debate whether relationship redos are worth it or not.
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Goodwill Wants Your Relationship Baggage

“Just because your divorce was messy doesn’t mean your house has to be!” — a catchy motto the peeps out at the Colonial Park Goodwill in Pennsylvania have been touting in support of their Dump Your X’s Stuff Drive. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, the charity has decided to help the brokenhearted unload some of the literal baggage from former relationships. After all, it’s enough s/he wasted your time, you can’t let them continue to suck up valuable shelf and closet space, girl! So, bring that box full of crap down to Goodwill on Feb. 12 and dump them for good. As for all that emotional baggage you’re dealing with, you can count on us gals at The Frisky to help you sort all that out. [PennLive.com] Keep reading »

When Is The Ideal Time To Get Married?

A lot of Americans get married. In fact, 70 percent of men and women 25 to 44 are married — or have been. But how do you know when it’s time to go from GF and BF to bride and groom? We asked 15 women from around the country to tackle this age-old question. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “How Long Do I Have To Wait For A Commitment?”

Recently I met a guy that I truly enjoy being with. We have been sort of dating for a month. We are very different from each other, but we connected really well from the first time we started talking. I have never really “dated” in the conventional sense before. Usually, it takes two to three dates before me and the guy are already sort of a “couple.” This guy doesn’t want to commit to me yet though. He feels that one month is too short of a time. I really like him so I agreed to it, but deep inside it is eating me up. I mean, I know he isn’t dating anyone else because he works like crazy and we talk on the phone every night. We have already had sex and the more I have sex with him the more I fall head over heels. I took a bit of time off from him because I felt like I was falling for him and the more I did the more I wanted a commitment. This word pushes him to the wall and it scares him away. So I figured, if I don’t see him for a week, then he will miss me and want me more, or I will get over him and that way won’t scare him off. It seems as if he is still the same. No drastic change with him. It seems like he isn’t going crazy for not seeing me. On the other hand, he calls me every night. It confuses me because he keeps on calling me and talking to me as if he needs to call me, but does not want to commit to me. I miss him so much. What am I supposed to do? I do not know how the dating scene works. How long do people casually date before they can start thinking of being a couple? Should I continue dating him casually and wait for him to make the move (if ever), and if so, how long should I wait until I understand it is pointless to continue? — In A Hurry

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365 Days In Paris: New York, New York

The moment the wheels of the plane touched down at JFK, I felt the comfort of the familiar as I realized that everyone around me was speaking English. I mindlessly zoomed through immigration and got in a cab. I’m sure you know the feeling of coming back home when you’ve been away for a while—it’s weird how natural it is, sort of like nothing’s different, or you never really left. And yet, at the same time, you’re thrown off by out-of-the-blue changes, like how all of a sudden there’s an Apple store in your neighborhood, and a building that was on one block isn’t there anymore, and a high-rise has gone up in the space of four months.

I have to say, being home makes me feel really torn. I’ve been so proud of myself for coping so well in a foreign city outside my comfort zone, but God, it’s nice to just not have to think about the littlest things. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Sometimes, Pornography Can Feel Like Cheating

The moment that my boyfriend got up to use the restroom, my friend Liz* turned to me and said gravely and in hushed tones, “All right, I need to make this quick before he gets back from the bathroom.”

Surprised, I replied, “OK???” She sounded like she’d been desperately holding something in all evening, just waiting for us to be alone.

“I just need to tell somebody this. I found out this week that Jay*” — her fiancé whom she has been with for 10 years — “has been masturbating to porn when I’m not around. Like, instead of having sex with me.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. I thought Liz was going to say she found out Jay was cheating. He was only looking at porn, though! Thank God!

But as I would soon find out, for Liz, there wasn’t much difference between the two. Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: The Loveless Man

If you saw Derek* and me on the streets of New York, you might have thought we were a normal couple. You might have seen us sipping cocktails at a bar with our hands intertwined, lip-locked on the sidewalk. We might have been gazing into each other’s eyes so intently that we didn’t notice you gawking and muttering, “Get a room,” under your breath. You might have seen us on the front stoop of your building, licking ice cream cones and thought that we were in love. Keep reading »

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