In the spirit of Halloween, I offer you dating‘s top five tricks — the things that keep you alone and feeling frustrated in dating and love. I would be a bad witch if I did not give you the corresponding 5 treats — the things that make dating all worthwhile — that dispel these myths once and for all!
Ladies, I am not here to sugar-coat today’s dating scene. I will concede that dating can be a challenge and at times be down right horrible! The problem is if we don’t question the tricks we have playing out in the hidden corners of our minds — the ones that influence our behavior and make us doubt our capabilities of attracting and keeping lasting love — we will never get to the treats that love has in store for us. Keep reading »
Heading off to school for the first time is an exhilarating experience. Most of us probably know that by now. College is jam-packed with a goodie bag full of firsts: our first test, first hangover, first boyfriend, first affair, first time away from home… you get the point. Just like we were hundreds of years ago in kindergarten, we’re first-timers once again!
While Ms. Jones might have taught you how to reluctantly share your crayons or recover from your first fall on the playground, there aren’t very many teacher-pick-me-ups once you reach the higher ed world. Yes, mom and dad are always just a phone call away, but when you’re stuck in the library at 4am cramming for your first big exam, those words of encouragement don’t really work. Damn. Keep reading »
Lez-be-honest, you know it’s true: over half of all women are attracted to other gals, according to a study at Boise State University of Idaho.
In a poll given to 484 students of varying sexual orientations, 60 percent of the female participants claimed “some level of attraction to other women,” 45 percent had kissed another woman, and 50 percent had fantasized about another woman. This study provides another example of the fluidity of sexuality, rightfully showing its complexity extends beyond a “do you like penis or vagina?” duality. Yet kissing other women, especially in a college/party environment, has been famously glorified by Katy Perry and others, and in some (some!) cases is done to incite attention or pleasure from male onlookers. Likewise, what does attraction mean? Possibilities include everything from the enjoyment of pornography to the appreciation of another woman’s physique or style. (I don’t make these points to contest the study’s results, only to highlight the subjectivity of the findings.) Keep reading »
I probably won’t win too many fans with this statement, but it’s been on my mind for the past few years. I don’t think second-, third-, fourth-time etc. moms should have a baby shower for every pregnancy. The baby shower should be reserved for new moms only!
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I had an abortion when I was 21. It was my senior year of college. I was living in NYC, working nights as an exotic dancer while interning during the day at a grassroots nonprofit for disadvantaged girls. I was cheating on my long distance boyfriend, we were having unprotected sex and I got pregnant. I was lying to everyone about everything. I was a total shit show: three perfect words to describe Cat Marnell, the xoJane editor who caught flack last week for a post she wrote about using Plan B as her primary form of birth control.
When I think back to the young woman I was then, I want to shake her. I want to shame her. I am angry at a woman who should’ve known better- who did know better, I find myself thinking even now — but who chose, instead, to know nothing. I was stupid and reckless and selfish, self absorbed and intent on my ways. The abortion wasn’t the worst of it, only a symptom of a greater sorrow. Simply put, I needed help.
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It makes me really happy that people are speculating about Rosie O’Donnell’s love life, that she’s in People magazine talking about how she met her girlfriend at a Starbucks. And The National Enquirer, that trashy rag, wrote an entire story recently about how Portia and Ellen don’t want kids. They literally took one idea from Ellen’s new book where she said they won’t have kids and made it into a news item. That, too, makes me a little giddy.
Lesbians are finally getting tabloid equality. Keep reading »