Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
There are many ways to feel more confident about your relationship, but here are 20 to get you started. Take the reins or the bull by the horns (or whatever else comes to mind), and start feeling more confident! Keep reading »
Let me first start off by saying that I love my husband more than anything else on earth. We have been together for 10 years (no kids yet) and we have a very strong connection and bond, but we have one major problem that is starting to weigh on our marriage. My husband is depressed. He has been as long as I have known him due to a very troubled and unhappy childhood. I have grown to look past it, but it is becoming worse than ever and I can no longer ignore it. The thing is, his depression has a very ugly side. He becomes emotionally abusive to me, often calling me names or making me feel worthless. Although I understand that he is projecting the feelings he has for himself onto me, it still hurts and I am having a very difficult time maintaining my own happiness. He has been out of work lately, which is only adding to his depression. He becomes very angst-ridden and restless and starts to feel like the walls are closing in. He says it has nothing to do with me and that I am the best thing in his life. When I told him that something has to give because I can no longer tolerate the way he treats me, he told me that this is who he is and if I don’t like it, I need to ask him to leave and he will. But I don’t want him to leave! I love this man with all I’ve got! There are moments of happiness, but they are usually few and far between and usually only come when we have some money to spend on things other than bills. He is not one to take anti-depressants (his mother became highly addicted to them) and we are financially unable to afford a therapist. How can I maintain my own happiness and help him at the same time? I must reiterate that I love him and I want nothing more than for us to make it through this. — Depressing Love
So … we spent the Thanksgiving holiday down in Florida with my folks, which meant Future Husband got a big “welcome to the family” glimpse of how the holidays with MY family works: lots of kids (there were no less than 8 kids under the age of 8 on T-day), lots of wine, and lots of sports. Minus the kids part, it was basically just like every Sunday at our house. Overall, we had an awesome time, which was great. Keep reading »
One of the best parts of having a platonic guy friend is having a go-to for the male perspective. And now I’m going to share my guy friend, Peter, with the world — by answering your questions and then getting his take.
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This has been a real week de merde and I’m currently bumming out big time. It was great having my sister here for Thanksgiving (or le Sanks-geev-ing-uh as the French like to say). We spent the past few days on a veritable Parisian binge—drinking bordeaux, shelling out at fancy restaurants, and buying typically Parisian clothing. (I must literally be a walking cliché thanks to my growing wardrobe of striped shirts, blouses with bows, and pleated skirts). Keep reading »
“I have been dating a wonderful man for a year now. We get along well, but there is a sore spot in our relationship: I don’t get along with his friends. I’ve never had a problem getting along with any of my ex-boyfriends friends before, so this is new territory for me. I’m a bubbly individual with silly/slapstick sense of humor, while his friends are more staid people with biting, sarcastic sense of humors. I often feel like they treat me as a ditz (which I am not — I own a business and just entered a Master’s program) and I do not feel comfortable with their negative nature (their sarcasm is often making fun of people/things). It came to a head this Thanksgiving when we went to his friends for dinner. I helped out in the kitchen, fawned over the food, and acted respectfully. After we left, my boyfriend told me he had wanted to stay, but said I ‘looked miserable’ and he didn’t want his friends to feel ‘uncomfortable.’ I’ll admit I didn’t eat much (I’m a vegetarian, there was only so much I could eat), and I was very quiet after dinner, but I always tend to be quiet around them because I never know what to say when they go on their antagonistic tirades about people or modern music. He loves his friends and we hang out with them often (he lives with one and the other lives very close), but obviously my polite, quiet approach is no longer working. What should I do?” — Friendless in Boy World
My boyfriend is 10 years older than me. We’re in love and it’s awesome. There are many, many perks to dating a dude who is older, some of which you can read here. But there’s one tiny downfall, at least for me. In his 40 years on earth, my devastatingly handsome boyfriend has had more than his share of girlfriends and has been in love a handful of times. This is probably totally normal and not a cause for, uh, concern for most 30-year-old women, who have likely had many relationships in their lives too. Unfortunately, I haven’t and his vast relationship experience makes me feel like I’m somehow not as special as I’d like to be. Keep reading »
Well, sort of. The director was at the center of an argument between my brother and I that started almost as soon as we sat down for Thanksgiving dinner.
[For reference: Polanski was apprehended by Swiss authorities, after he fled the United States in 1977 before he could be sentenced for having "unlawful sex with a minor," a lesser charge than the original six, which Polanski pled guilty to. (He was originally charged with "rape by use of drugs, perversion, sodomy, lewd and lascivious act upon a child under 14, and furnishing a controlled substance to a minor.") Polanski fled the country before sentencing upon learning that the judge was planning on giving him jail time, despite the recommendations of a probation report and psychiatric evaluation, which both indicated that Polanski should be released on time served. For the record, Polanski served only 42 days out of the initial 90 before being released and making a break for his native France.]
I just assumed my brother shared my opinion that Polanski should be locked in jail and the key thrown away. When he didn’t — and said that Polanski should be released because he wasn’t a serial predator, that the judge in the case was on a witch hunt, and that the 13-year-old girl whom Polanski had sex with had “consented” and “maybe even took the drugs on her own” — I basically lost my shizz. Was my own flesh and blood not only being a rape apologist but victim-blaming as well? Keep reading »
If your relationship ended over the long Thanksgiving weekend, you’re not alone. The Thanksgiving breakup is such a common phenomenon it even has a name: the turkey drop. Carly MacLeod, a junior at Washington University and the “romance columnist” at the student paper, tells NPR that turkey drops are often the result of long-distance college relationships reaching a boiling point during freshmen’s first real vacation home after leaving for school. She explains that after three months of living apart, making new friends, creating new lives, and stressing over upcoming finals, former high school sweethearts see each other again and realize they don’t want to be together anymore. “Go home, hook up and break up is pretty much the pattern,” MacLeod says. Keep reading »