Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Life After Dating: On Expecting A Relationship To Save You

Couple In Field

If someone suggested that you were holding out for a relationship to save you and magically solve all your problems, you’d adamantly insist they’d gotten you all wrong and briefly consider slapping them in the face, right? Expecting a guy to save you sounds ludicrous on a surface level, and even reminiscent of the dreaded d-word (gasp, desperate) that’s so frequently used to knock women down a peg. The problem with the save-me complex, though, is that it isn’t usually so straightforward. Often, it lives in a more deep-rooted, unnoticeable part of the heart, inflicting men and women alike, silently motivating our choices without us even realizing. If it were an easy thing to detect, we’d nix it from the start, but instead, that sneaky idea has sabotaged almost everyone’s love life at one point or another. Keep reading »

Love This: Business Insider‘s 21-Day Plan For Radical Self-Improvement

Love This: Business Insider's 21-Day Plan For Radical Self-Improvement

It’s already mid-December, which means it’s almost time to make resolutions for the new year. But how can you expect to start off with a clean slate if you’re still tackling career, personal and health goals now? I stumbled upon an awesome infographic calendar, created by the folks at Business Insider, that aims to help you improve yourself in 21 days— just enough time to spare before ringing in 2015. From simple tasks like flossing your teeth to more tedious missions like updating your LinkedIn page, BI explains the science behind each step, focusing on how it will help you change your habits and redirect your energy into things you really need to do. Try completing each day of the task calendar with a friend to help motivate each other, and check out the day-by-day breakdown after the jump. Good luck! [Business Insider] Keep reading »

Make It Work: How To Quit Your Job

Make It Work: How To Quit Your Job

There comes a time in everyone’s career when you will quit your job. You will stand in your boss’s doorway, cock your head and say, “Do you have sec?” You will quietly shut the door. You will sit down in that weird chair reserved for guests and your boss’s jacket, palms sweating, and tell him or her that you have found a new job, or are moving to Sweden, or are starting grad school in the fall. You will tell them that you are very sorry, but the time has come for you to part ways. Your boss will accept this with grace and, if they are a nice boss and a decent person, a congratulations. You will make a plan for departure. You will leave the office that day with the weight of a million hours’ of shitty emails and bad vibes off your shoulders, completely, and for good. Congratulations, you just quit your job! Keep reading »

Trauma, PTSD & A Lifetime Of Loss

A note: There’s a lot of trigger-y, very heavy material in this particular essay, including descriptions of graphic fictional violence (in nightmares) and mentions of sexual violence. I included it to paint as clear a picture I could of what it feels like to have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. All respect given to those who wish not to read that sort of thing: You take care of yourself however you need to.

“Wild,” the film adaptation of Cheryl Strayed’s memoir, came out this weekend and I know I’ll see it eventually, but it’ll probably be with a pretty heavy heart. I never read the book, either, although I read Tiny Beautiful Things and loved it.

I could just about write a eulogy for the 2014 that wasn’t. In February, I started making plans to quit my job and travel by plane, bike, train, and bus all across the United States. It didn’t work out. Right now, I was supposed to be in Florida visiting an old friend and her baby and trying not to get eaten by alligators.

That was all for the best, as long as “the best” is held to a moderate standard. I’m glad I got to spend my year with my lovely boyfriend and work on our relationship. I’m glad I got a therapist. I’m glad I got off of medications that were doing more harm than good. I’m glad I started writing and ultimately got a full-time job doing it. I’m glad I live in a nice new apartment and have a pretty good idea of what my boundaries are and how to keep myself healthy. That is a textbook definition of “a good life.” Keep reading »

13 Things That Happen When You Send Taylor Swift Lyrics to Your Tinder Matches

13 Things That Happen When You Send Taylor Swift Lyrics to Your Tinder Matches

Tinder is a battlefield. Swipe left or swipe right, and within seconds you can find yourself connected to your crush of the week, or a “nightmare dressed like a daydream.” Or worse. A ghost, aka matches that never message you first. It’s a Tinder epidemic, since guys do essentially swipe right “at everything,” it could take hours, days, months for Mike, 27 to shoot you a “hey” or “sup,” (tragic, I know).

As a hopeless romantic, I decided to make the first move, with a little help from fellow hopeless romantic, Taylor Swift. By making the first move, I mean only quoting lyrics from her 1989 album. Every single track, one match at a time. Read more on Tres Sugar…

Men Check Out My Dog More Than Me & I Have Mixed Feels About It

Men check out my dog more than me. I only wish I were kidding.

I’ve gotten used to catching unexpected smiles creep onto strangers’ faces while gazing at Henny (why yes, she does look like a bear cub). But after one of our daily walks last month, during which I passed four men in their 30s and noticed, with sinking resignation, that THEY ALL BEAMED ADORINGLY AT MY DOG WITHOUT EVEN A CURSORY GLANCE AT ME, I realized: something is changing. I’m changing. Keep reading »

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