I have a couple of girl friends whom I really envy. They know exactly what they want — or rather, what they don’t want. They don’t want to have children. Two of my girl friends are childless by choice, which means that while they enjoy being involved in the lives other people’s children, they have no interest at all in becoming parents of their own. There isn’t a doubt in either of their minds that kids are not a possibility.
My own feelings on the subject are much more hazy. Keep reading »
Being in a relationship with someone who has ADD presents some unique challenges. Conversations tend to jump rapidly from one topic to another. Shiny objects might distract them during important moments. And that pile of clothes on the floor? Yeah, that’s never, ever going to get put away. Of course, there are also many benefits to being with someone with ADD: a sense of spontaneity, endless intellectual curiosity, excitement, and creativity. One thing’s for sure: an ADD relationship is never boring. Here are some tips for loving someone with ADD, from someone who has it: Keep reading »
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Speed will matter, so don’t procrastinate. Yes, the only thing standing in the way of your wish being granted is you. Don’t forget that golden opportunities take work to attract; to be worthy of every accolade and affection you receive, be swift with showing your gratitude. Life can change in an instant, but this time around, realize you can ensure it’ll be good.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): You’re going to be bored out of your brains, seeing those annual traditions play out like a broken record. Yes, memories are going to be haunting you in a fussy kind of way, so find new curiosities to distract you. If you’re lucky now, you might even find one or two rabbit holes to fall through. Keep reading »
“And I have never understood the distinction of ‘primary’ partner. Does that imply we have secondary and tertiary partners, too? Can my primary partner be my sister or child or best friend, or does it have to be someone I am having sex with? I have two friends who are sisters who have lived together for 15 years and raised a daughter. Are they not partners because they don’t have sex? And many married couples I know haven’t had sex for years. Are they any less partners?”
Actress Maria Bello, who I just saw last night in the fantastic movie, “Prisoners,” has penned an amazing Modern Love column in today’s New York Times about telling her 12-year-old son that she’s in a romantic relationship with her female best friend. But the piece is about something bigger and broader — our cultural understanding of what it means to be “partnered” with someone and how we value certain partnerships over others. It’s a beautiful, thought-provoking read, sure to strike a chord with anyone for whom the traditional nuclear family does not fit. [NY Times]
Clarity often comes like a bolt of lightning out of the blue. It’s a shock that opens your eyes to a whole new perspective. A client of mine called hers a miracle. Mine was like waking up — the kind where you sit straight up, instantly awake, and look around, not recognizing where you are, even though it’s the bedroom you’ve slept in for years.
My bolt of lightning struck after nine years of marriage. I was having a reunion lunch with a very dear friend of mine from college. We had gone our separate ways and hadn’t been in touch since well before either of us had gotten married. It was one of those long, catch-up conversations where we tried to cram in as much as possible about the last ten years of our lives. And then it happened. I saw myself through his eyes. It was the old me that he was seeing. The girl I used to be when I was single, who loved traveling, seeing bands, curled up in a corner reading, or staying up late into the night in deep conversation with friends. It was a shock because I hadn’t recognized her. Read more on Your Tango…
While people may admit to having struggles in their relationships, including difficulty with intimacy, it is sometimes hard to admit that you struggle with love addiction. Learn how to recognizing the signs of love addiction and how to love yourself first on Your Tango…
We live in unprecedented times. If you’re married, you’re a minority. For the first time, there are more single than married people. Apparently, the entire country of Sweden has decided not to bother with marriage. The question of our culture has suddenly become: why get married? I recently married, and my friends ask, “So, how is it being married?” Or, of course, I get the unsolicited comment, “I’m never getting married.” If they do delve a little deeper they might say something like, “I don’t want to give away half my stuff.” Do childhood experiences shape our views on marriage? Read more on Your Tango…
Thanksgiving (or Thanksgivikkah in our household) is upon us, bringing about the start of the winter holiday season. What better time, then, to think about our families? Regardless of our relationships with our families, there’s no doubt that, for better or worse, they shape who we are.
Just in time for the holidays, Natalie Angier took a look at the changing American family over at the New York Times. Not only is the make-up of American families changing, but it’s doing so at a rapid pace:
“Families, they say, are becoming more socially egalitarian over all, even as economic disparities widen. Families are more ethnically, racially, religiously and stylistically diverse than half a generation ago — than even half a year ago.”
I only have to look as far as my own family to see this. I’m the child of two immigrants, my mother having moved to the United States when she was a toddler, while my father emigrated from Israel at 28. I now currently live with my husband, our son, and my brother, who has lived on and off with us for the last seven-and-a-half years. Keep reading »
I love Thanksgiving – and I can’t wait to fly back to the Midwest this week to celebrate with relatives – but I have somewhat of a turbulent history with the holiday. My parents’ divorce has made me less than eager to head home and face splintered celebrations spread over three different households. One thing I’ve always loved about it, however, is the food. When I was more of an emotional eater, this played out for the worst, as I couldn’t imagine anything more comforting than a table overflowing with turkey, stuffing and pie. These days, I’m eating my feelings a lot less, but I still love to eat – and I wish that fact didn’t come with judgment or worry. This creates a complex dilemma on Thanksgiving: how do you let your body image issues go on a holiday that’s all about food? Keep reading »
With proposal season kicking off ahead of the holidays, it’s easy to feel pressured to race to the altar. But why the rush? Lauren Conrad — who recently got engaged to William Tell— dishes her advice on this pressure to marry in the upcoming January issue of Cosmopolitan. “You have the rest of your life to be married,” Lauren said. “Enjoy falling in love. When girls get caught up in the timeline, it becomes more about the wedding than the marriage. You should be with someone with whom you could elope this weekend and be happy.” Keep reading for more details on Lauren’s engagement on TresSugar…