Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dater X: Three Strikes, You’re Out

Dater X: Three Strikes, You're Out

Last week, I went on my first date with Jack, the young publicist I met through work. And after I tell you all what occurred on that date, I’m confident you will understand why my first date with Jack was also our last.

After taking the initiative to ask Jack out, I figured I’d let him take the reins and plan our first date. We agreed to get together after work and didn’t have a game plan, so we decided to just play it by ear. He met me by the steps of the New York City Public Library and was as cute as I remembered, but slightly younger looking (which was probably just my subconscious reminding me that I was a cradle robber). He suggested we go grab some coffee and then maybe a bite to eat afterwards, depending on how we felt. On our walk to get caffeinated, he said, “I’m glad you asked me out. I like seeing a proactive woman who isn’t afraid to make the first move.”  We were off to a great start. Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: Grownups Don’t “Shush” Each Other

Frisky Rant: Grownups Don't "Shush" Each Other

About once a week, I “work from home,” which really means that I work from a coffee shop near my apartment. It’s a pleasantly balanced crowd — the other young professionals tapping on their laptops give it an “office away from the office” feel, but the parents with strollers and groups gathered around tables remind me I’m in a public space. I get my best work done with a nondescript hum in the background, hence why I rarely work from my actual home in my pajamas. It’s easy — no, ideal — for me to block out low volumes of noise in order to concentrate on my work.  In fact, I actually listen to a coffee shop sounds “white noise” audio on loop when I’m at The Frisky’s office.

So it was with great annoyance that last week I had the misfortune to sit next to a woman at my coffee shop WHO TALKED REALLY LOUD LIKE THIS BECAUSE SHE HAD NO SELF-AWARENESS ABOUT THE SOUND OF HER VOICE. Keep reading »

Funny Girl Sex Guide: 7 Things Men Say To Impress Women (That Really Don’t Work)

I Seriously Don't Care That You Went To Yale, Bro

When it comes to dating, we all do silly things to impress the object of our affection. Women may spritz and slather a variety of chemical substances on their bodies, feign an interest in or knowledge of some subject, perhaps having to do with a ball, or make a big show of nailing that particularly tight parallel parking spot. I’ve been known to go on and on about that one time I did really, really well in fantasy football. But women are not alone in our somewhat misguided attempts to impress the opposite sex. Men are just as likely — if not more so, as there’s possibly more pressure on men to impress — of saying some kind of ridiculous things to win over a date. Here are a few that really don’t work.

Don’t worry, I’ll be back to talking about penises and vaginas next week. For more Funny Girl Sex Guide, follow us on YouTube!

Dating Don’ts: 5 Possible Outcomes Of Defining The Relationship

Dating Don'ts: 5 Possible Outcomes Of Defining The Relationship

Nobody handles The Talk very well. Usually, it’s a stilted affair, capable of rendering even the most confidently grown to their pre-teen self, stuttering and drawing circles in the condensation left by their wineglass, assiduously avoiding eye contact. Defining the relationship, or DTR, if you’re of the ilk that favors cutesy acronyms, is a necessary evil, but something that not a single soul is very good at. The nature of modern dating is such that the traditional markers of what make a relationship real change every day and it can seem like there’s a decided lack of stability. It’s not as easy as getting someone’s letterman jacket and walking down Main Street to the soda fountain anymore. The way we date now easily lends itself to shirking real commitment. First dates in the traditional sense are replaced by weird group outings in which you attempt to get to know someone you made goopy eyes with at a bar while surrounded by a buffer three people deep, including his friends from college and that dude at work, Josh. It’s a honest miracle that anyone even makes it to The Talk, because the obstacle course that stands between you and a relationship is harrowing.

The fun doesn’t end once you’ve actually sat down and faced the person of your intent, with all your emotions out on the table. The kind of relationship you can neatly explain to your mom in a hastily composed text message is a thing of the past. It makes sense that the end result of a nebulous and frankly, confusing wooing process, is also difficult to pin down. With that in mind, here are some possible results of the dreaded Talk. Keep reading »

Life After Dating: Marriage Has Changed My Relationship To Feminism — And That’s OK

LAD feminism

My husband and I met  and got married all within five months. Kale had been visiting from Australia on a year-long tourist visa when we fell in love. Marrying not only kept us together, but launched us into a lifetime side-by-side. It didn’t really feel like a choice or a decision; it was obvious to both of us what we were going to do. And that means that I put just about zero forethought into what our marriage would “mean” for me as a woman or for us as a couple.

I’d thought about marriage long before I got married, sure. As a little girl I played house, pretending to be married to my teddy bear (his name is Gregory and I still have him). I had a serious relationship in my 20s with a man — Ex-Mr. Jessica — who I’d thought I would marry and have children with. While dating Ex-Mr. J, most of my thinking had been around the work/career balance and justifying to myself how I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, if possible, for a time. However, I hadn’t put too much thought into how the day-to-day drudgery of marriage would go. It seemed so far off. Keep reading »

A Relatively Complete List Of Acceptable Catcalls

A Relatively Complete List Of Acceptable Catcalls

This morning, I was walking down the street when someone called to me from his car: “Hey, Big Butt!” This was meant to be a compliment of sorts. I don’t mind people saying that my butt is big (I mean, it’s sizeable, that’s just a statement of fact), but what bothered me is the absolute lack of rational thought that went behind this approach to getting my attention. OK!  You approve of my big butt!  You would probably like to touch my big butt. Stating the fact of my big butt as if it’s my name doesn’t exactly bring me around to your cause.

I’ve always thought that the best way to get someone to pay attention to you isn’t to just compulsively screaming out descriptions of body parts at strangers.  Yes, it’ll get their attention, but my impression is that the point is to hold attention, too. That being said, I’d like to propose a list of catcalls that would get to the heart of my motivation as a person and keep my interest in the conversation moving along. Keep reading »

Shut Up, Selfies Are Awesome

Mirror, Mirror: Selfies
Why You Should Take More Selfies
Kate thinks you should take more of them. Read More »
2013: Year In Selfies
2013: The Year In Selfies
From Kim's butt to Beyoncé's audience, this is your year. Read More »
Selfies Are Awesome

I take a lot of selfies. You know why? Because I’m fucking adorable. If it bothers you, maybe you should’ve been around in middle school to tell me I was pretty. But you weren’t, and I felt gross, but now I feel hot, so boom! You get a whole lotta selfies.

Look, I could go into detail about how the selfie is an extension of the basic human need to be seen, to be known, and perhaps even to be loved. I could talk about Narcissus, and about the moment when babies perceive that their mirror image is at once them and yet not them. I could go on about self-portraits, and Great Selfies in Art History, and so on and so forth. I could pseudo-intellectualize this bitch for you, but instead I am simply telling you to shut up, because selfies are awesome. Keep reading »

Study: Office Sexism Starts In The Guy’s Marriage

Study: Office Sexism Starts In The Guy's Marriage

According to new research by the University of North Carolina, men with stay-at-home wives are more likely to have a negative outlook on women in the workforce. Five studies were carried out on almost 1,000 married heterosexual men, and even with the use of varying types of research methods and samples, results were grimly consistent. Keep reading »

The Best Cities For Singles?

San Fran City Landscape For Singles

Young, single, and ready to mingle? We’ll admit that life as a single person isn’t always a walk in the park, but living in certain cities can help make the most out of solo life. Whether you love a fancy restaurant, dig a funky bar crawl, or are simply looking for somewhere safe to lay your head, these cities have it all. Read more on AskMen…

10 Tricks For Dealing With An Awkward Silence

Awkward Date

It’s always so uncomfortable, isn’t it? The two of you are seated at the dinner table, face to face with each other, alone. Well, there’s that third wheel friend tagging along named Awkward Silence.

Sure, you could complain about the unbearable summer weather, or talk about your job or how your team lost the game again. And if worse comes to worse, you can always “accidentally” glance at your phone and realize you were supposed to (insert ridiculous, obviously B.S. story here) before you dash away. Read more on Your Tango…

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