Reader Abby snapped this picture in Thailand while on her honeymoon.
Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
For Valentine’s Day, I opened a tiny box from my amazing boyfriend of one year that included the nicest and most expensive piece of jewelry I have ever owned in my entire life. The problem? I absolutely hate it! It is a truly nice necklace, but it’s nothing I would ever choose for myself. I had a sick feeling in my stomach when I took off my grandmother’s beautiful necklace from the 1940s — one of my dearest heirlooms — to replace it with an over-priced department store find. I’m also a bit confused since I found out it was purchased during my 45-minute drive to where he lives. Quick decision, maybe? So, here lies the question: do I tell him what I really think or do I continue to wear this necklace that honestly makes me cringe? I know he works hard, and the thought was there; I just don’t know if it’s inappropriate to suggest that we exchange it together and both pick out something else, or if I should just keep my mouth shut. My mom even joked about the possibility that this same situation may happen if he ever proposes, which we both talk about often. I’m the kind of girl who would be happier with a $50 vintage piece of jewelry than anything that’s $400 and brand-spankin’-new. — Trying To Be Grateful
The email perplexed me:
Joanne, Sorry to sound pathetic, but have I done something to offend you? — Michelle*
There was no clue, no context. Really, was I on my own here to deconstruct what the hell Michelle, a college buddy from 12 years back, was referring to? How could she have done anything offensive when we hadn’t spoken in more than a few months?
This discovery came on a recent Saturday morning; while mulling over my response, I poured myself a second cup of coffee and settled into the couch again with my laptop for another weekend ritual, catching up on Facebook, where Michelle’s status update, I suspected, was designed for my eyes: “Is it still possible to remain friends with someone whom you have very little in common? I thought it was.” Double-whammy. WTF? Keep reading »
“I think today might be the one day of the year where it’s socially acceptable to get wasted alone,” I wondered aloud as Emily and I walked past some heart-shaped decorations in the window of one of the many anonymous-looking Chinese restaurants lining the streets of Belleville. It was Sunday, Valentine’s Day, and we’d spent the morning in yoga class and were now walking back to the metro together.
“Awww,” she said, consolingly. “Well, I think Valentine’s Day is kind of like New Year’s. Usually a letdown. But totally, you can drink.”
“Maybe I will. Maybe I’ll cook something nice too,” I said, immediately reflecting on the guilty secret that has been my life for the past few weeks: working in bed for most of the day, reluctantly dragging myself out into the cold to find a pathetic dinner of baguette and cheese or yogurt and cereal. It made me remember that I’ve been so lazy lately that I hadn’t bothered to do the dishes after most of these meals, and that my apartment was a complete disaster zone.
We walked on in silence, both ostensibly sad because of the lovers’ holiday. Me, because I’m completely alone. Emily, alone as well because her boyfriend lives in Spain. At that point, it seemed only natural that, yes, I’d cook tonight, and Emily should come over so that we could have a girls’ night, drink some champagne, and feel sorry for ourselves. I felt relief because the thing is, I’ve never had any feelings about V-Day before, but this year felt like a slap in the face because last year, I’d spent it with Alex … Keep reading »
Oh, snap, you guys. According to a new study, a quarter of women aged 35+ say they never have sex. Perhaps not unrelated, the same study found that 42 percent of those aged 35 to 64 “have sought medical help for depression or are thinking about doing so.” Are the 745 women studied representative of women over 35? What’s going on that so many “mature” women aren’t getting any? And why is everyone so depressed? One couples therapist, Paula Hall, blames celebrities. She said all these “celebrity kiss-and-tell stories fuel the notion that frequent sex is the norm,” which has “led to exaggerated expectations, that everyone else is getting it three or four times a week and your behavior isn’t normal.” Celebrity kiss-and-tell stories? Look, when women are holding up people like John Mayer as an example of “normal” sexual behavior, we all have a problem — not just those of us over 35. But what do you guys think? Do you compare your sex lives to celebrities’? [via Daily Mail] Keep reading »
Yesterday was my first Valentine’s Day as a married woman, but I didn’t spend it with my husband. Drew’s actually been in Vancouver for the last three weeks preparing to cover the Olympics with his job for NBC (I’ll be joining him for the last week of the Games, so don’t feel too bad for me). Anyway, I knew I have a tendency to get a little blue at this point in the winter anyway and I wanted to avoid getting too lonely, so I put the invitation out for any of my long-distance friends to come visit while I’ve got the apartment all to myself. I had one friend in town last weekend and then this weekend, two of my oldest, dearest friends came to town to keep me company. As someone who sees Valentine’s Day more as a reminder to show love to everyone you care about and not just your significant other, it was one of the best V-Days I’ve had in a long time. Keep reading »
The other evening, after a long day of writing, a train stalled on my line as I was attempting to make my way home. The train wasn’t stuck for long, but all the people who had been kicked off other trains behind it were now at the same station. It was so crowded that I couldn’t even make it down the stairs onto the platform. I took one look and decided to take a taxi. I jumped in the first available one I saw, thinking $15 wasn’t a lot to spend for an uneventful commute home. But things didn’t actually go as I had planned.
The recent news of Natalie Portman homewrecking her way into the arms of a ballet dancer (the male kind—Benjamin Mellepied) didn’t have us thinking about infidelity or Swan Lake—but girly men. Now we can’t be certain Benjamin is of the scented candles and bubble bath variety, for all we know he pounds Budweiser, watches football and vanishes at the words “can we talk?” But there’s a chance (maybe it’s the tights?) that Ben’s a stay-at-home and watch Gilmore Girls reruns type of a guy. Keep reading »
Listening to someone go off insanely is not your idea of a fun time. Though, this week you’re going to have to give some compassion to get to the sweet nectar of your baby — he or she will be in control of the emotional strings, like an erratic puppet master. Just go with it, because when all is said and done, you’ll have played your part.
In the whole scheme of things, you should have a pretty exciting week of romance, friendships and even a few surprise thrills. The catch, though: the timeline of it all will be wacky and unless you maintain a sense of humor and see the picture as a whole, with some character, then all the sublime magic will be lost.
Take a deep breath, because just when you thought your plate was full enough, in comes more piles to expand your life to a new proportion of craziness. Thankfully, this will all be exciting and fun, fully putting you at mover and shaker levels. However, if for any reason you don’t enjoy this, well, then, you have just learned to be careful about what you wish for.
You have so many talents. Too bad emotional dealings aren’t always one of them. A lot of times you like to see what you want to see. This week, be prudent with deciphering things you hear and the actions you witness. Not all will add up equally, which could lead you to redrawing a game plan. No matter, this might just be what you need to do to score that winning point anyway.
Don’t get caught up on the small things you hear or see, because they’ll only sidetrack you from what really matters and ultimately cause you to sabotage yourself from seeing the obvious. Your life is on a trajectory that should be thrilling and exciting: accept it and love it. Otherwise, being your own cockblocker won’t win you any satisfaction.
Thinking selfishly has its own merits and this is your time to get ahead because of it. The good news is that what is good for you will have effects that trickle down and benefit everyone, so even when you aren’t thinking about it, you are doing good. Just don’t get sidetracked by another’s moaning and complaining — if you stop even once, it’ll kill your momentum.
There’s no reason to be so shy. The signs are all there and it’s about reading them confidently. Besides, you know what you want and if you don’t make the effort, only you will be to blame. Not to say you have to do all the work, but at the least, send back signals and get the ball rolling. Otherwise, sticking to the status quo will mean a missed opportunity.
Take the time to chill out and play the observer right now. If your honey is being shady as of late, he will eventually mess up on his own when given enough rope. However, don’t be too stuck on seeing something if it’s not there either. This is when your discrimination will count for something; it will enable you to decipher the truth from what you really want to see.
Fantasyland is just a few hours away and it can make you fall in love all over again. All you have to do is plan a last-minute surprise getaway with your baby and top-shelf romance is yours for the taking. If you’re single, this works well for you too; when you hop out of town, you never know whom you’ll meet around the corner of somewhere you’ve never been.
Beware of the powers of a pretty face. Although the picture might seem perfect, everything beneath the surface is far from what it seems. If you even try to tempt this act of fate, you will find yourself falling fast down a slippery slope, which will have you paying a heavy price for being able to look but to never really touch.
Who cares whatever anyone tells you or even what you want to tell yourself, because if you hold back on any of your feelings now, you’ll regret it. Not to say all is finite with your actions, but you’ll have a major opportunity to score some super hot love that is only for now. Although you can opt to sit back and see how it plays out, why wait for lukewarm seconds?
Your libido will be cranking out the best sex you’ve had to offer in a while. Your brain will be floating at a new level that will make you more creative and inspired than usual. However, there is no need to advertise this, as those who deserve it will magically be in line to reap the rewards. Besides, if it’s not going to happen organically, it shouldn’t happen at all!