• Relationships

Ask The Astrosexologist: How Do I Handle A Scorpio Man?

“I’m a Leo (08/10/84) and he’s a Scorpio (11/03/80). Long story short, we were in a long distance relationship for almost a year up until a few months. He fell hard for me initially. I was hesitant at first, but my feelings became pretty strong over time. We have plenty of similar qualities and great chemistry, and both of us are very passionate. Every relationship has its highs and lows, and it was during our last ‘low’ as a couple that he became wishy-washy and decided he wanted to ‘transition to more of a friendship.’ I think he found the distance part of it more difficult than I did, and while I didn’t want to give up on our relationship, I wanted to try to remain close friends since I love him and want him in my life.

It has been a bumpy road at times and we both have admitted we still have strong feelings for each other. There seems to be a double standard in that he expresses jealousy at the thought of me with another guy, but he thinks I should be okay with it if he meets some other girl sometime down the road. (He’ll often reference his Scorpio sign as a reason for this, stating that Scorpios can be possessive.) Thing is, I don’t wanna be with another guy. When I visited him a month ago, everything was same as usual — fun and romantic. Any advice for a gal trying to handle a Scorpio? Where do I go from here?” – JDub

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Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Won’t Get A Job. ADHD Or Just Plain Laziness?”

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I have known him since I was thirteen, his family adores me, we talk about the future, and I am so happy when I am with him. However, we have a few issues. I graduated from college almost three years ago and work a full-time job. We’re the same age, but my boyfriend is still working on community college and lives at home and has no job. He knows how much I value an education, but not so much that he’s motivated and driven to succeed. Now, to be fair, he has severe ADHD, and schoolwork has never been easy for him, not because he isn’t bright, but because of his inability to concentrate. However, he doesn’t seem to WANT to do better. I think he gets nervous about failure, but at 24 years old he doesn’t seem to want to get a job, or accelerate his schooling any quicker, and I want to move on to the next stage of our relationship (not marriage, but just a more mature stage). I love him and don’t want to lose him, but I don’t know if I can handle a lifetime of this. Do I stick it out? Is it the ADHD or just laziness? — Motivated

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How To Survive Holidays In Transition

Sure, the holidays are filled with great food, fun parties, and general good cheer (I was at a crowded Macy’s yesterday, and I wasn’t shoved once!), but for a lot of people, this is anything but the most wonderful time of year. Those of us in periods of transition — even positive ones — are especially susceptible to the feelings of loneliness, frustration, depression, and the stress the holidays can elicit. After the jump, a few tips for surviving the holidays during some of life’s biggest transitions. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: The Loner Gets Talked Into Speed Dating

Last week, I set out to interview “Millionaire Matchmaker” Patti Stanger. My plan was to go in, impress her with my wife-ability, and be home in time for wine and “Parks and Recreation.” So I’m still not sure how, an hour later, I found myself sitting on a bar stool, roped into speed dating by the kind people at HurryDate.com. “There’s an odd number of men,” the publicist said, rationalizing why I needed to participate.

Being a serial online dater, I have had my share of awkward first dates. I liked the idea of spending five minutes with someone, rather than wasting a whole night to realize we were incompatible. Plus, I thought maybe I might meet a few people I wouldn’t necessarily think to go out with. Even though I had the lowest of low expectations, I was still sweating and self-conscious. Are they noticing how big my head is? Can they smell me sweating? Keep reading »

Girl On Girl: Coming Out During The Holidays

Me and the holidays—we don’t really get along. During Christmas, New Year’s and Hanukkah (yeah, I celebrate that, too), I eat too much, drink too much and become way too poor from buying everyone presents and taking time off work. Then there’s the family. I’m really tight with my parents, grandmother and sister. But that’s about it. I don’t see much of my extended family—the aunts, uncles, cousins, you know. Oh yeah, and I’ve never come out to any of them. Awkward, much? You bet.
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25 More Things You Should Never Say On A First Date

Back in May 2008, I told you five simple words you should never drop on date #1 with a dude. Well, honey, since then, I’ve been on a whole lot more first dates, and I realize I barely scratched the surface with that first list. So, let’s break it down one more time, because it’s hard enough to meet someone, let alone get another date with him. When it comes to first dates, here are 25 more things you can say that won’t get you a second one! Keep reading »

Poll: Would You Play Matchmaker For An Ex?

Would you play matchmaker for an ex?

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Dear Wendy: “I Think My Dad Is Cheating On My Mom”

My parents have been married for 26 years and have several kids together, but I’m wondering if my dad might be cheating on my mom. He’s always been a big time workaholic. Growing up, he was gone all the time. He recently started his own business and got a second cell phone, for what, I can’t figure out. He’s kind of a private person, so if he were seeing another woman, I’m positive he could keep it from the rest of the family easily. He’s in charge of all the finances, so it would be pretty easy to hide any telling expenses. He’s always going out of town and comes and goes at weird hours. Also, my mom is very pushy, she’s always nagging away at my dad. Honestly, if he were stepping out on her I don’t think I’d blame him. She’s not my favorite parent, for sure. Since he pays for her cushy lifestyle so she doesn’t have to work and she’s constantly finding faults with him, it wouldn’t be a stretch if he were pushed to do this. She’s gained a lot of weight recently, and that’s really changed her self image. She’s always buying him books on how to be a more romantic and sensitive husband, Christian propaganda, etc. My dad suffered a recent midlife crisis and has made some really dramatic changes. Also, my parents have hinted at some rocky times in their marriage lately and my mom claims to be depressed but she promised my dad she wouldn’t tell me and my siblings why (this seems to be the biggest indicator). If there were a situation like this going on, NO ONE would know because my parents are obsessed with appearances and looking like the perfect happy family. As far as I know he hasn’t cheated on her before … but it could have happened. Should I ask my parents what’s going on? — Concerned Daughter

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Dating Don’ts: How Not To Flirt

Before she met her fiancé, my friend Michelle was the biggest flirt on the Eastern Seaboard. If she spotted a guy she wanted to talk to, she’d walk right up, tilt her head to one side and ask a completely inane question. At bars, the question was inevitably, “What are you drinking? That looks really good!” Within seconds she had a drink in her hand and a pair of puppy dog eyes watching her every move.

It didn’t hurt that she was very pretty, but I couldn’t believe that asking a guy—who was inevitably drinking a beer!—what he was drinking was so effective. I mean, it’s obviously a beer! One night, over a shared bottle of wine, she was explaining the finer points of her technique, when a cute guy walked over and poked his head between us. “What are you drinking?” he asked.

“What does it look like we’re drinking?” I answered snottily. I was trying to listen to my friend—attempting to learn how to talk to men. Couldn’t he see we were busy? Michelle rolled her eyes at me and turned to him with a smile. “It’s a Malbec from Argentina. Want a sip?” Keep reading »

The 5 Lies Women Tell Themselves

Over on Huffington Post, dating and relationship coach Jag Carrao has written a very interesting dating-related article called “5 Lies Women Tell Themselves.” Carrao says the the dating myths women tell themselves “may feel comfy, but [are] insulating us from sometimes unpleasant realities, they undermine our ability to make rational decisions based on complete information, thus sabotaging our long-term romantic goals.” So, are you sabotaging your dating experiences? Might these “lies” actually be true? After the jump, let’s take a look at the five myths Carrao says women tell themselves and see. Keep reading »

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