Exes are exes for a reason. You have to remember that, even when you miss them — like I did this past week.
You may remember the crappy ex in question — the one who broke up with me over IM, stole a painting he’d given me as a present and generally made me feel like total crap for several months. Our breakup was quick and sharp (over IM, after all), but the months leading up to it were painful and heartbreaking. He was miserable and so was I.
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Men of the world, in case you missed the manual, which details all the things you should understand about women, let me give you a refresher on item #503: Food is just as important, if not more important, to [most of] us as love – oh, and we often use one as a substitute for the other. It is just as important to me that we are compatible at the dinner table as we are in the bedroom. At the end of the day, I’m just looking for someone to eat with. If you want to fall in love with me, accept my other love– food. Acknowledge me, acknowledge my odd eating habits. Love me, love my delicate palette. Understand me, understand that I would eat olives with every meal if I could. Really want to find out what makes me tick? Share a meal with me. Keep reading »
I definitely don’t consider myself an expert on marriage, but by virtue of being a semi-expert on celebrity marriages — with an emphasis in “rumors surrounding the cause of their demise” — I have learned some valuable lessons about matrimony. For example, part of figuring out your compatibility in the long-term with your potential spouse requires asking a few simple but crucial questions. Questions these seven celeb brides failed to ask. Don’t make the same mistake!
“Man, I just keep going on horrible dates. I’m like, ‘There’s not enough wine in the world for me to enjoy this.’ … I actually had a guy say to me—and I hope he sees this because he is so ridiculous—he said, ‘I can’t believe I’m on a date with Kelly Clarkson.’ And under my breath I was like, ‘Wow, I can’t either.’ … Some days I think, ‘I’ll meet him. Everybody finds somebody,’ and other days I’m like, ‘Maybe I won’t. Maybe I just missed the memo.’”
– Kelly Clarkson tells Parade why she’s single (and not a lesbian). God, can I relate to this. Especially the part about there not being enough wine in the world. You know it’s gonna be a bad date when you’ve inhaled your first glass in five minutes. I want to tell her she’ll find someone, but I can’t make any guarantees. [Daily Mail UK]
This is an oldie but a goodie from our girl Simcha. — Editor
Valentine’s Day may be for couples in love, but Halloween is for singles looking to mingle! (Hey, pagans knew how to party.) You definitely don’t want to miss your chance at action so sweet you’ll want to bag it up and give it all away! So, how do you get it done on this hot holiday? Here are five easy steps for hooking up on Halloween…
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