Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

8 Tips From Rachel Greenwald, Author Of “Have Him At Hello”

Matchmaker and dating coach Rachel Greenwald is responsible for 750 marriages, and she doesn’t believe you will find the love of your life by waiting for him/her to spontaneously appear in line at the grocery store or sit next to you on the subway. Darn. There goes my approach. This Harvard M.B.A. and New York Times best-selling author advocates a better way—being proactive and approaching your dating life like a job search. “Sure, there has to be an intersection of luck, timing, and opportunity, to find love,” she says, “But you increase your odds when you do something about it. If you have a strategic organized plan, something will come through faster.” So, uh, what should this plan be? Her new book—Have Him at Hello: Confessions from 1,000 Guys About What Makes Them Fall in Love … Or Never Call Back—hits bookstores today and has some ingenious ideas for us. I had the opportunity to chat with Rachel and get a singles state of the union. After the jump, eight interesting tips I learned. Keep reading »

Debate This: Do You Have To Return The Ring If The Engagement Ends?

It never fails to amaze me that every time I write a post about broken engagements, many commenters are most interested in discussing what the proper etiquette is when it comes to keeping or giving back the engagement ring. [You know where I stand and, as expected, some of you disagreed. In general I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all approach and you should definitely do what feels right for you and your former fiance. However, the "experts" do have strong opinions on the matter. This "Debate This" ran in March 2008 (before I got un-engaged, FYI), but I believe it covers two popular views on the issue. -- Editor]

Engagements are all congratulatory wishes and bridal showers until they end without a wedding. Along with the usual breakup activities — “dividing of things,” “starting over of lives” — there’s the even more awkward “deciding of who gets to keep the 10-karat (or 1-karat) ring.” According to a Conde Nast Bridal Media study, the average engagement ring cost is $4,435, so this ain’t chump change. We ask two people in the wedding industry who gets to keep the rock, after the jump, and then ask you to take a position in the comments. Keep reading »

5 Reasons Moving Is Good For You

Over the course of my life so far, I’ve lived in the Bay Area, Los Angeles, Chicago, New Orleans, and Virginia. Soon, I’ll probably be moving again. Sure, there are people who’ve moved way more than me, but I like to pull up roots and relocate every so often. It can be something of a pain in the butt to move all your stuff, but I feel like it’s one of the most important things that has changed me as a person. If you’re longing for some new scenery, interested in meeting different types of people, or are looking to find out more about what you love and what you don’t, the path of relocation can guide you towards greater insight as to who you really are. Find out more after the jump. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Stay With My Boyfriend Or Move Back Home?”

I moved out east for grad school, and I happened upon a great guy — he saw me through the rough transition of living here, helped while I was a foster parent for a year, and is overall the best guy I’ve ever dated. Here’s the issue: he’ll be moving to a nearby city for a new job soon, and I’ll be graduating in a few months and I don’t know whether to move with him or head back out west. Here, I have him, but a place I do NOT like. Also, we’re both on the shy side, so building a social network will take some time. Out west, I have friends, family, much better career options, and cities that I LOVE. I may never meet another guy like him, and I love him so much. But I also can see myself angrily saying that “I gave up everything for you,” and that would eat away at our relationship. He feels much the same about staying here as I do about returning home. This is the most mature, loving relationship I’ve ever had the privilege to be in; I want to maintain it. But I think staying here might destroy it. — Homeward Bound

Keep reading »

How To Properly End An Engagement

As many of you know, I was a fiancée who got dumped. On the 1-10 Suck Scale, it registered at around 27, due in no small part to the fact that I was caught by surprise, it was handled rather insensitively, and I wasn’t given the whole story — or a full explanation — right away. With that being said, people often dump their fiancés/fiancées for perfectly good reasons and just because they’re the ones doing the dumping, that doesn’t make them evil, horrible people who should be drawn and quartered. Let’s face it: how to properly end an engagement is not something we teach in school, unless you are getting private tutoring from Jennifer Love Hewitt (she’s been engaged, like, three times). Luckily I’ve learned a few things about it, after being on the short end of the stick. This should come in handy when I dump Sam Worthington for my true love, Ryan Gosling. Keep reading »

Online Dating: Bringing People Who Already Know Each Other Together?

This weekend, I joined an online dating site for the third time in a year. Every time I meet someone new and start dating him, I end up deleting my account. Maybe this is the kiss of death, actually. Maybe the next time I meet someone, I should keep my online dating profile active, as a signal to the universe that I am not about to be fooled into thinking I found someone long-term.

I’ve only been on the site (again) for a few days, so I have no dates to report on, but I have noticed a new trend among my matches. Apparently, online dating is now a great way to meet and ask out people you already know. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Tell My Boyfriend I May Be Pregnant?”

I am a 20-year-old college student who is in a really strong relationship with a great guy. Lately I have been feeling extra tired, extra hungry, and my boobs have been extra sensitive. I feel like there is a chance that I’m pregnant, but it is definitely too soon to tell. My inner feminist is telling me to let him know, because it takes two to get pregnant, and I shouldn’t go through this alone. Another part of me says that I should suffer in silence rather than cause potentially unwarranted chaos, and wait until I know for sure. What do you think? — Possibly Preggers

Keep reading »

365 Days In Paris: French Sex

As much as American girls may complain about the state of dating, sex, courtship, and guys, at least we can read the signals on our own home turf. (Whether we want to believe them is a different matter.)

But over here in Paris, where the word “dating” literally does not exist in the French vocabulary, understanding male/female relationships is all the more confusing. The issue here is that French men and romance are traditionally stereotyped (just like American women, or any romantic situations for that matter). The way things are “supposed to be”: If a French dude kisses you, it means he’s fallen for you, and there’s no pretense, and a week later you’re buying toothbrushes for each other and making love to accordion music on a bed of croissants. But, when things don’t magically become this clear-cut, the confusion sets in, and there’s no rhyme or reason to actions because … well, there’s no standard dating code of conduct.

Where this leaves me at the moment is wondering if I got the brush-off, or what comes next (if there even is a “next”). Keep reading »

For The Week Of March 8-14, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You can’t fight fire with fire all the time. So, before you say anything you will regret, let your enemy make the first move. From there, you will have the smarts to know all that you need to destroy them as you see fit, because you can’t always be sweet and nice. This time around, you’re going to have to be that bitch you should have been in the first place.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Finally, you will be back on the top of everyone’s popularity list and your phone will be ringing off the hook. Of course, just because there are many prospects that doesn’t necessarily mean what you want is in the mix. While there will be many who look hot and feel good, how they play out for the long term is questionable. So, play the game, but keep your intentions vague.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You’re hot, intense and determined, and this week you turn it up even more so as your ambitions catapult you to a whole new level of fame and fabulousness, proving your clout is no joke. While your current love life might not reflect the same type of magic, don’t fret. This newfound power will be just the right filter and magnet to draw in winners, not wimps.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You’ll be on fire, as all the astrological elements that make sex, love and romance supreme are on your side, making you one hot-to-trot bunny that gets whatever she wants anywhere she hops. So make sure you get out and start setting your sights on some delicious new meat, because spring is just around the corner and it’ll be your season to sizzle!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Sorry to say, this won’t be an easy week. An emotional standstill reaches the height of its drama, with saucy secrets leaking — and ones you can’t ignore. Seems you’re going to have to make confrontation necessary to get to any understanding with this other person, even if it’s just for your own peace of mind. At the least, after this week, everything you need to do will be obvious.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Being part of a working team doesn’t mean you lay down and take it. Sure, you can have sympathy, but if you don’t see benefits in why you are doing it, stop. Yes, being a sucker isn’t going to win you any play. Back it up and hit restart. Express new rules and lay down new non-negotiable terms. Understand you’ve been nice for far too long.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You’ll be feeling an edgier taste, and that’ll lead you to a whole new approach to dealing with your prospects. Seems when all is said and done, you’re not feeling that shy and it’ll come out with a big roar by midweek, putting you back on top of your game as never seen before. When it comes to how it’ll work out: those who can keep up will, those who can’t, oh well.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You like to be worked in one way and one way only: with your ass being kissed. So, for those who don’t do it properly, don’t waste your time trying to school them because they just aren’t going to get it. If you have to spend any time explaining how amazing you are, well, that just kills it. Not everyone is as smart as you’ll want to give them credit for.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Finally, some peace and love return on your home front — you’ll get to settle back into a life where you’ll feel on top of things. While some nagging feelings might occur and guilt on how you got here might spring, forget it. We all have to be ruthless at times and if breaking a few hearts to get back your peace of mind is the price, know it’s actually a small one.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your mouth will be moving a lot quicker than your legs, and this might not be to your advantage if there is some info you’ve been holding back. Your words will explode this week and if you aren’t so diplomatic with how you lay them out, then you might need those legs of yours to move faster.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Thank God, spring is coming and you’ll start to thaw from the frigidness of winter. Yes, new opportunities are going to appear quickly, heating you up fast and pulling you out of the isolated freakdom that was making you way more judgmental than necessary. Whatever, at least you know you can entertain yourself when the chips are down.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Mars in Leo retrograde is over this week, on the 10th, which means you won’t be feeling like a clumsy mess anymore. Yes, the hold-up that began in mid December is done. All your attempts at moving life forward won’t feel futile. The energy will flow again and your optimism will have real reason to be. From here on out, it’s back in the spotlight for you!

All Those Girls In Love With Drama

As a teenager, I lived in breathless anticipation or sickening dread of the inevitable drama with a capital D that Monday mornings brought with them. Who had hooked up with whom that weekend (and where and when)? So-and-so called someone a nasty name. Did you hear Sally broke up with her boyfriend … or did her boyfriend break up with her? At an all-girls prep school, drama was the default setting. Now that I’m a young-adult author, drama is my literary milieu; it provides the conflict that makes a plot. But that doesn’t mean I want it in my real life. Keep reading »

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