• Relationships

For The Week Of January 18-24, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Quirky turn-ons are going to be the theme of your week. Bizarre love twists and turns will take place and could have you waking up in some strange places. Go with the flow and consider it an adventure. Plus, know that the more you drift off your beaten path, the more extreme the twists will get, but rest assured that this will also bring bigger surprises.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You’ll be so hot and emitting that heat so intensely that you’ll inadvertently be a fluffer to many. What ever should you do with this power? Tease like crazy and entertain yourself like mad. Seems the choices will be many. To get to the best of the best, make them walk through your mental minefield. After all, a girl like you needs more than a pretty face to be satisfied.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your life is about to get way more intense. All that dreaming you’ve gotten lost in won’t be as conceptual as it once was. Reality is going to start shifting in a majorly magical way and fairytale happenings will start to occur. While it might not be recognizable at first, do realize the strange feelings you are sensing are going to amount to something new and big.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Be on the lookout for a hot, new neighbor or roomies bringing over a friend who’ll make you sweat in personal places. Yes, there’s a high chance of a hot hookup to be delivered right to your door — but beware of eating where you sh*t. To make it work, be clever in your seduction and make them come on to you. After all, you want a good time, not a responsibility.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You’re not the kind of lady who likes to make everything obvious, but right now a major turn-around is happening. If you want to get in it to win it, it’ll mean enforcing your confidence and speaking what you wish. Seems your words will have more power than you suspect. If you let it all hang out, there’ll be ears hanging on every sound you utter.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Your tastes will be superb, as you will find your abilities to be discriminating working charmingly and most effectively. The only hold-up: battling with those inner demons that make you think there won’t be anything beyond surface that can satisfy. Trusting the prizes you find this week will require you to dig deeper to find the real gold.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

The world is now yours, so enjoy the spotlight when you can and take the risks that will get you to the place you want your life to be. Jupiter, the planet of luck, enters Pisces and will make you the Queen Bee for most of this year. So forget about holding back or thinking twice. Trusting your gut and acting on instincts will pay off big time.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You can’t control the world right now and you’d be a fool to try. The best you can do now is let everyone serve you and let the surprises happen at their own pace. Seems the loyalties you have established will start to take shape now, showing you who really has your back and who wants to get on top of it too, so don’t blur the view with your baggage.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Listen to your friends. If they say jump, ask how high, because they really will be the ones who will guide you to your promise land. Not to say all will be linear, but following their lead will bring massive opportunities to you, bringing you to new places and faces which will up your status as well as your attitude.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Beware: your ego will be acting up in all sorts of ways that will make you feel way more invincible than you are. So, be prudent with how cocky you let yourself get, because not all will be as easy as it appears. Sure, the brass ring is in sight, but it’s not as close as you think. Let your idealism inspire, not mislead you.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

An emotional meltdown of sorts will have you succumbing to your desires despite yourself and all logic. However, there is no holding you back when you reach this point of lust, so feed into what you crave and indulge yourself. Seems what you’ll discover is that once you get it, you won’t want it anymore.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Despite what people say about your take on love, they don’t know squat. What you and your baby have is real and more intimate and intense than most can imagine. This week, things go farther off the charts, putting you in full-on glow mode and it’ll make the haters even more aggravated. Luckily, you’re a sadist at heart, so this week will appease you more than you’ll even know.

Love Vandal: Tape This To Your Bathroom Mirror

Reader Sam sent this in from New Orleans.

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com. Keep reading »

5 Ways To Feel Better After A Breakup

If there’s one thing that redeems the terrible process of breaking up with someone, it’s the transformation-rich recovery period that follows. Don’t get us wrong: Breakups are a sad, sorry business, and even the cleanest ones entail some kind of annoying consequence or follow-up, like adjusting to an empty bed or having to return that awesome space heater he left at your apartment. The key to making the most of your breakup is engaging in life-affirming activities: little things that will empower you start over and set out into the great unknown (singlehood—eek!) with courage and resilience. Resist binge-drinking, rebound guys or ex sex, and consider these fun post-breakup activities instead. Keep reading »

Ask The Astrosexologist: My Leo Boss-Turned-Boyfriend Always Has To Have The Upper Hand

I’m a Sagittarius (12/13/89), and I have been seeing a Leo (7/23/76) for the past month. Before anything romantic happened between us, we worked together for about a year. He’s a lawyer and I was his secretary — and that situation, plus the age difference, has always made him feel as though he has the upper hand in the relationship. Since we have started seeing each other romantically, he has started to be a bit of an a-hole. He likes to play up the whole jerk thing, can be selfish, and he constantly needs his ego stroked. Prior to hooking up, the two of us would always joke around with each other. We liked to tease each other and laugh a lot, and we still do that now, but it’s really hard to get him to be serious! Any advice on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated! — Fed Up

Keep reading »

I Love You Like A Sister

Women can frequently be heard exclaiming, “I love her like a sister!” I shake my head. No, you can’t love your best friend like a sister. A sister’s love is separate from any other kind of love. A sister knows not only your entire history, but also what your thoughts and emotions were at every milestone. A sister knows not only who you are, but also what made you who you are. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I’m Sort Of Obsessed With My Ex’s New Girlfriend

I think we can all agree that the internet has made it much, much harder to get over a breakup. Sure, you may have successfully erased his number from your phone, used his junior high football T-shirt as a rag, put away all your couple photos, ordered him never to call again, and cursed him to hell, but all of that effort is almost a waste considering he’s just a click of the mouse away.

After a while, though, watching how he’s growing in the midriff via Facebook photos loses its luster. You already know almost everything about him anyway, after all that time you spent/wasted. But what about his new girlfriend? She’s someone to be curious about. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Family Disapproves Of My Controlling Boyfriend”

I have been in a long-term relationship with a guy that my family, and more recently I, found to be controlling and critical. I dumped him several months ago and then, after a month-long break, began to talk and hang out with him again. He is more remorseful than anyone I’ve seen in my whole life and has displayed nothing but kindness, humility and love for the past several months. I am considering giving it another shot as he’s the type of person who makes changes permanently (I’ve seen this many times from him in other areas of life). The problem is, I know my family does not approve. They especially don’t approve because of their staunch traditional beliefs that a person should marry someone of their exact same religion, which I no longer agree with. I am torn between listening to my family, who I know cares for me, and giving the relationship another chance. I don’t want to disregard my family’s advice, but I’m not sure if they are just biased because of my ex’s religious beliefs. I also don’t want to risk losing a great guy that I’m so compatible with. Please help! — Stuck In The Middle

Keep reading »

Hey Mister, Are You Trying To Schtupp My Sister?

You are allowed to protect your baby sister so that she remains in a happy, giant bubble, far away from bills, landlords, and men, right? Right? It’s reasonable that she remain approximately 12 years old forever, arguing at the lunch table that the Spice Girls are no good, playing lacrosse, and dating nobody? Perfectly reasonable. OK, so maybe extreme eternal youth is totally creepy in an “Interview with the Vampire” Claudia kind of way. And it isn’t truly what I want for my own little sister, but recently I’ve found my protective-sibling-claws coming out.
Keep reading »

My Mom Is Better Than Facebook

I used to get the back-home gossip from my mother. In the olden days, when “Men in Black II” came out, she was like a Greek oracle or a Shakespearean seer. With her job in the school district, she always knew what was happening with everyone. Charlie’s a plumber and about to be engaged to Samantha the artist. Bobby, who had that baby so young, is working for the fire department. Mom always knew how to deliver the news; she’s your oldest confidante. She knows that when you’re too old for that kind of thing, you’re still gonna cry when the last strawberry in the floundering patch dies, and about that boy who was soooo cute when you were 15 and gangly. When the news was bad, I was prepared before she spoke because of her deep inhale and too-long pause. After telling me the girl who wore sneakers to the senior prom was killed by a drunk driver, we stayed on the phone together.

Then came the “just the facts, ma’am” Facebook. Keep reading »

Girl On Girl: Gasp! Sexual Orientation Can Change

This month, Details totally lost me as a reader with an article called “The Lure of Dating an Ex-Lesbian.” The author, Ian Daly, talks about women who date women and then hitch up with men. He eloquently calls these gals “refugees from the isle of Lesbos … hasbians.” Interestingly, Daly’s research seems to prove the opposite of what his title implies. That is, that dating a “hasbian” is terrifying. He depicts dudes who date them as scared little school boys, afraid of their penises and scared that their clumsy fingers could never navigate the female anatomy as expertly as the women they’ve seen in lesbian pornos. Later, Daly obnoxiously writes that men who are in touch with their “feminine side” are more likely to date women who are “former homosexuals.”

I’ll save you the anguish of discussing Daly’s assertion that once motorcycle-riding, tattoo-covered lesbians “soften up,” they head straight for the penis. What I really want to talk about is Daly’s assumption that sexual orientation is super rigid. Keep reading »

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