Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

A Bad Marriage May Have Serious Effects On Your Health

As a single lady who is fairly skeptical about marriage, I found this NY Times Magazine article very enlightening. The long-standing theory is that there are major health benefits for the marrieds of the world—they tend to live longer, healthier lives. But new research is showing that this “marriage benefit” does not extend to those that are unhappily married, divorced, or widowed. It seems to be more about the quality of the relationship than having the relationship itself. I hate to say it—duh! Who feels good in an unhealthy relationship? No one.

After the jump, what some scientific studies have shown about marriage and health. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: The Girl Before The Girlfriend

There exists a school of thought that dictates if you think something catastrophic, then it won’t happen. What would happen if my family died in a car accident? What would happen if my house caught on fire? Two summers ago, I asked myself: Wouldn’t it suck if my first love met someone unexpectedly and got over me before I could begin to move on? Thankfully, my family and my house are safe, but my feelings, my love life, and my ego still need mending. Keep reading »

15 First Date Mistakes To Avoid

The other day the Telegraph published a list of ten first date faux pas, which included bad manners, being late, and answering phone calls (isn’t this the same as “bad manners”?). Um, thanks Telegraph! We never would have figured those out on our own! Now, how about some tips that may not be complete no-brainers, huh? After the jump, 15 more first date mistakes to avoid. Keep reading »

Dating Online? Here’s What To NOT Put In Your Profile

You joined that dating site, like, a month ago, and while you got a lot of action at the beginning, you really haven’t been hearing from the types of people you’d like to date. What’s wrong? Is it them? Is it you? In fact, it may be your profile. If you suspect your dating shingle may not be doing the real you justice, it could be time for a rewrite. After the jump, we’ve got 10 things that are a must-remove when it comes to online dating profiles, whether you’re a girl or a guy. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Valuable Lessons Gleaned from Reality TV

reality tv photo

Let’s face it, the best thing about reality TV is its ability to make ourselves feel better about our own lives. Bumming ‘bout your bubble butt—hey, at least you’re not as large as the peeps on “The Biggest Loser.” Angry your boyfriend cheated? Jerry Springer will make you grateful he was banging some coworker, and not knocking up your mom.

Oddly enough, most of these shows seem to be trying to deliver a message or lesson. The problem is that there’s a huge discrepancy between What They Want You to Learn (WTWYTL) and the Actual Lessons Learned (ALL). Luckily, I’m here to translate.
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Dear Wendy: “My Girlfriend Refuses To Take My Name If We Marry”

I’m 26 and my girlfriend is 28 and we’ve been dating for a little over seven months. We both want the same things in life — marriage, kids, close ties to family on both sides, prosperous careers and a house in the ‘burbs. Things have been terrific, the best relationship either of us has been in, we love each other very much and recently moved in together. The thing is, my girlfriend has made it clear that if we marry, she feels like she would be losing a part of herself if she took my last name. It’s very important to me that a family unit share the same last name, though. I’m not a hard line traditionalist and certainly not a macho, domineering type — but I feel like something would be missing, or like I would not be totally and completely loved if my wife rejected that part of me. Likewise, hyphenated names do not sit well with me. We’ve discussed this and I’ve made it clear I will not marry or start a family with someone who will not accept my last name (which, by the way, isn’t something odd or off-putting like, say, “Latrine”). I did not deliver this to her as an ultimatum, rather, as part of a well-mannered conversation in which I also made it clear I would stay with her forever without marriage. I worry, though, that this difference has set an expiration date for our relationship. Am I being unreasonable? — Name Withheld

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I’m Older Than You. Here’s Some Advice.

Am I older than you? Hard to say. Seeing as I don’t know how old you are. But let’s assume the answer is: probably. Now that I have been alive these many years, I have some words of wisdom to share. Helpful? Who knows. Note what fits and discard the rest. In the end, life’s a bit of a crap shoot. Or maybe it’s like a box of chocolates. Today, it’s a listicle. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Spends Too Much Money On Me”

My boyfriend spends too much money on presents for me. If he were wealthy, I might be able to get over feeling guilty and just enjoy being spoiled, but he isn’t. He makes significantly less than I do (but works way harder!), and he pays a hefty amount of child support on top of that. We live together, and I pay a larger portion of the rent because I can afford more. Despite his modest income, he has saved up and bought me diamond jewelry for a couple of occasions during the year and a half that we’ve been together. The gifts came with loving, heartfelt words and emotions that moved me more profoundly than expensive objects ever could. My jewelry is beautiful, but when I look at it, I think about how he could have put that money away in savings, or bought something useful for his kids with it. I have tried to tell him that I prefer that he doesn’t spend so much money on gifts for me, that a meaningful gift does not have to be expensive, but I always end up hurting his feelings. We see marriage in our future, and I know he’s been eyeballing engagement rings that are, in my opinion, way out of his price range. I don’t even think a ring is necessary, and although I respect that he does, I’d hate for him to put all his hard-earned money into a really fancy one, or worse, finance it. Can you suggest a tactful and sensitive way to encourage him to express his love in ways that don’t involve lots of money in the future? — The Breadwinner

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What Do You Remember About Your Childhood Crush?

Yesterday, Wendy posted the loveliest story about her first love, a little boy named Young who took the rap for a fire she caused when she was 5 years old. There’s something so sweet, innocent, curious, and hilarious about our first dabblings with the opposite sex. After the jump, Frisky staffers take a moment to remember the little fella who made them first think, “Hmm, maybe boys aren’t so icky after all.” Share your childhood crush stories in the comments! Keep reading »

30 Things I Love About Myself

This morning I woke up and the sun was shining. Lucca (that’s my dog) was lying on her back, paws straight up in the air, when she rolled over, yawned, and said to me, in her puppy way, “Moms” — she pluralizes things a lot — “I love you. You’re awesome.” And she’s right. I decided to make a list of 30 things I really love about myself, from the sort of shallow to the deeply ingrained. I hope you’ll all do the same (about yourselves, not me) in the comments! Keep reading »

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