• Relationships

Could You Forgive A Cheater?

At this point, it’s redundant to dissect the various political sexcapades of late. But all that talk of cheating has many of us civilians looking over our partners’ shoulders. I think every woman cringed a little at the thought that Elin Nordegren, Tiger Woods’ wife, might attend the press conference held by the man that publicly shamed her, and cheered when she didn’t. The same cannot be said for Silda Spitzer and, for a time, Elizabeth Edwards, both of whom “stood by their man.” Now comes news that “Lost” star Matthew Fox might have cheated on his wife of 18 years with a stripper. What would you do if you were one of these women? Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Dating Makes Me Crazy, Literally

“I fell and really hurt myself. Could I come over?” I sobbed on the phone to John, the guy I’d just begun seeing. I’d been coming from drinks with friends and had slipped down the stairs to the subway, twisting my ankle, as well as badly bruising my tailbone and my pride. Now, even though I wasn’t physically hurt, I felt shaky and wanted to be taken care of by a potential boyfriend.

“Well … ” I heard hesitation on the other line. “Now’s not really a good time. What happened?”

“I fell on the subway stairs,” I whined pathetically, even though, in the back of my mind, I knew I was fine. I knew all I needed was Advil and a large bag of ice. I know I should have told him that. But I didn’t. Keep reading »

8 Tips For Visiting Your Long-Distance Man

You’re flirting on IM and email; the phone calls are long and romantic — this guy seems too good to be true! But there’s an obvious catch: he lives far away. The solution: visit him. Seems simple enough, but hot stuff, it’s not! Sure, romance means always taking a chance, but before you run off to visit your long-distance lover, don’t get swept away in the fantasy of it all. As someone who has been burned by such a seemingly sexy endeavor, I implore you to check yourself before you emotionally wreck yourself. Sure, on one hand, he could be your dream man and a trip like this could be the beginning of a beautiful long-distance relationship. But on the other hand, it could end with you running home to cry to your gal pals about the vacation time and money you just wasted on a big mistake. So, before you, my friend, start booking travel arrangements, here are some ways to ensure you’ll be getting what you came for when visiting that out-of-town beau.
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Love Vandal: That’s Amore

Reader Claire snapped this in Rome, where she’s studying abroad: “I saw this love note outside of a middle school. They’re everywhere in Rome!”

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com. Keep reading »

Redefining Our Roles And Expections Of Marriage

Yesterday’s “Dear Wendy” column, in which a woman wrote in asking whether she should marry or dump her boyfriend whose earning potential she felt was much less than hers, sparked a huge discussion (over 170 comments and counting). We Frisky-ians have lots of opinions on the issue of marriage and feminism and the role money plays in long-term commitments. And we aren’t the only ones discussing these hot topics! The New York Times had a big article just the other day on this very topic. In an age when “185 women [are] earning college degrees at age 22 for every 100 men,” and “nearly a fifth of all men between the ages of 25 and 54 [do] not have jobs,” many people — men and women — are redefining expectations of marriage. Unlike the generations of women that came before, many of us are no longer financially dependent on men, which means our role in marriage — a financial institution — is drastically changing. It’s happening so quickly that it seems our social and biological conditioning hasn’t had time to catch up. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “If I Buy A Home, I’ll Lose My Boyfriend”

I currently live with my boyfriend in a rental apartment. I really hate renting and want to buy property and though I can afford to buy something on my own, my boyfriend can’t and is putting a lot of restrictions of what kind of housing he’d be willing to move into. For example, he knows I can only afford a condo or co-op, but has said he’ll only live in a private house, and basically, if I buy an apartment, our relationship is over. Everything in the place we’re currently living in is broken and we have a lot of problems with our landlord, so even if I don’t find something to buy, I would still like to move when the lease is up, but my boyfriend even has a lot of requirements for that. He has to have parking and outdoor space for a grill, but we live in New York, and finding a rental we could afford that has both those amenities is very hard. We’ve lived together for four years and I cannot picture my life without him, but I feel that his laundry list of requirements and preferences for housing are keeping me from moving out of a place I really hate living in, and holding me back from doing something that would really benefit me. How can I make him understand how important it is to me to move, and hopefully into something I own and not just rent? How can I make him understand that we are wasting money on rent? At the very least I would like to move into a cheaper rental so I could save money to purchase a home. He would also be able to save money too, but all he sees is that parking spot! — Wants To Move

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Girl Talk: I Googled My Dates Until One Of Them Googled Me

For some women, first date preparation is a leg wax, a blowout, and brand-new, five-inch pumps. For others, it’s a swipe of lip gloss.

But for me, it’s always at least a solid hour of internet research. To me, pre-date Googling is less a verb than an Olympic-style event of decathlon proportions. There’s the phone number check, there’s the email address cross-search, there’s the quick dip into the search box of his alma mater, then there’s also a quick perusal of his Facebook page, and, occasionally, his friends’ Facebook pages. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Some Of My Friends Can’t Get It Together

The majority of my friends are doing cool things with their lives: I have lots of journalist friends, friends who got cosmetology licenses, friends in law school, friends taking the Series 7 exams, even friends deployed in Iraq.

Yet, for all the ones climbing up their career ladders, there are a few 26- to 30-year-olds who’re still hanging out on the first or second rung. I’ve pretty much stopped asking, “Do you think you’ll start applying to jobs in that field you’re interested in?” or “Do you think you’ll move out of your hometown?” because the answer is always some variation of “I don’t know” or “not yet.” Some of these conversations have been going on for years.

I’m starting to see that your 20s aren’t just about making bad relationship decisions. They’re about making bad career decisions as well. Keep reading »

Poll: Which Area Of Your Body Would You Like To Be Kissed More?

Where do you like to be kissed the most (besides the lips)?

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Dear Wendy: “Should I Marry My Poor Boyfriend?”

I’m 28 and have been dating my 34-year-old boyfriend for almost two years. This relationship was “hot and heavy” from the get-go because our personalities really clicked and he is the first man I have ever loved. However, I regret moving in with him a year ago not because I don’t love him, but because I’m not sure he can give me the type of life I want. When we met, we made the same amount of money. However, now I’m way above him in salary and I’m also going back to school for my Masters (I’ve always been an over-achiever). My future looks very bright compared to his. He lost his previous job and his current job pays barely enough to cover his minimum monthly expenses! The worst part is I’m not sure I have faith in his professional money-making abilities. If I stay with him, I can totally see a life where I’m bringing home the bacon while he’s the stay-at-home dad … which might be nice for some women, but that is NOT the life for me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want him to support me. I simply would like my life partner to be able to pull his own weight and possibly “carry” me temporarily should I need it — and I would do the same for him. Bottom line, I don’t feel safe financially with him, but I do love him. Should I marry him (and carry all the financial responsibility) or break up with him (and risk never finding another man who loves me as much)? — Money-Maker

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