Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Girl Talk: Is Bad First-Time Nookie A Dealbreaker?

“I think you’re great,” I told him over martinis on our third date, “but I just don’t think we’re compatible.” Mike was smart, interesting, and nice … too nice when we slept together for the first time earlier that week. There had been no throwdown, no frantic disrobing, no moaning loud enough to wake the neighbors, no playfulness. Instead, there was soft music playing in the background, gentle kisses on my eyelids, careful caressing, uncomfortable, unwavering eye contact, and … Oh, God, is he making love to me? Keep reading »

What To Do If Your Man’s Dog Makes You Sneeze

You’ve done it. You met a guy who is funny, smart, easy on the eyes, and treats you well. There’s only one problem: his dog makes you sneeze. Whether you suffer from multiple allergies or have just discovered you don’t react well to a specific dog breed, take heart that there are graceful ways to handle the situation and keep the guy. Keep reading »

365 Days In Paris: Lindy Hop To It

Once the weather gets nice in Paris, life becomes dangerous. All anyone wants to do is lounge by the Seine with a bottle of wine, some creamy cheese, and a crispy baguette. I could do this everyday for the rest of my life and be happy. Between the Luxembourg gardens being a stone’s throw away, the populated banks of the river, and the sun-drenched terraces of cafes, it’s so tempting to just blow off everything and indulge. An unhappy realization came yesterday when I tried on some of my summer pieces to realize that —ugh—my pants are tight. As I tried to wedge myself into a European size 36 skirt, which had fit me so perfectly in September, I let out a little whimper of defeat. I knew what this meant: goodbye wine and baguettes. At least for a little while. Although, in reality, I’ll probably be good for about a week, then tell myself as I have a half glass of rosé and a bite of croissant that I’m being oh-so-French by showing such gallant restraint and moderation. For an American in Paris, the word moderation tends to be interpreted quite liberally. Keep reading »

14 Things I’m Done Being Afraid Of

Years ago, I used to have this mantra: “The things you worry about usually don’t happen.” It was true. The fears never, ever materialized: I was never fired from a job; a roommate never kicked me out of my apartment; no one ever climbed up my fire escape in the middle of the night and broke in. Instead, of course, an entirely different set of bad things happened to me, stuff that I hadn’t anticipated or prepared for. And you know what? Everything turned out OK. More than OK, really: I love my job; I met my partner for life; I earn enough money to live on; and everyone I care about is healthy. I’m so OK it’s boring — and all the time I spent worrying about the now ex-bosses and ex-roommates seems, well, wasted. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Reclaim My Virginity?”

Until recently, I was a 24 year-old virgin. In high school I thought I wanted to wait until marriage to have sex, but over time I decided to simply wait for the right guy to come along who I trusted. Several months ago I started dating Chris, whom I’d had a crush on for awhile. I fell hard for Chris and decided he was the guy I wanted to introduce me to sex. Unfortunately, by the time I did sleep with him (after three months), our relationship had already started to deteriorate, and as a result, our sex life started out in a bad context. We only had sex maybe a dozen times before we broke up and he really broke my heart by doing so. Now I feel conflicted about sex. I’ve always been a very sexual person (abstinence was difficult for me, and I’d been doing things like oral sex in my previous relationships), and I enjoyed having a sexual relationship with a man. But I feel like with Chris I never got to experience sex in a loving context with a guy who cared about me, and I’m starting to regret losing my virginity to him. Maybe I should reclaim my “second chance” virginity and wait until I’m engaged or married to have sex again so that I don’t go through the heartbreak of being intimate with a guy who’s just going to morph into a douchebag. Or, do you think the problem is just that I slept with the wrong guy too soon, and that I should keep trying to have a satisfying sex life with boyfriends in the future? — Leery

Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Love Celebrating My Birthday Alone

I have big plans for my birthday this month. BIG ones. Wanna hear them? OK, I’m gonna sit at home in my pajamas, eat chocolate cake, and watch reruns of “The Gilmore Girls.”

I love celebrating my birthday solo. Partly it’s because I’m shy. The last thing I’d want is the waitstaff at Chili’s to sing me a rousing “For She’s a Jolly Good Fellow,” or for my loved ones to jump out at me from behind furniture, then wait for me to say a few witty, well-chosen words. I’m like my father, who wanted nothing for his 70th birthday — an important one in Chinese culture — except a nice meal with his family. But people don’t understand this. Keep reading »

For The Week Of April 19-25, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Love is a twisted psychological game that often makes no sense and, too bad for you, this week it goes up another degree of insanity. What you hear isn’t what you should pay attention to, not to say it has to be bad, but it won’t be correct. To make it through as unscathed as you can, do take it all in with a grain of salt, or the bitterness will be too much to bear.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

When you truly speak your mind, it’s inevitable that you’re going to ruffle some feathers. However, if you don’t start revealing your needs now, you won’t be doing yourself any favors. The result will be you getting the short end of the stick, as a certain prospect won’t know how to fill in your blanks. Steering your fate now requires your words.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Promises you have made will come back to haunt you. A slip of the mind and a sudden opportunity clash and you need to choose between obligation and desire. Yes, your morals are going to be getting in the way, pressing on all your guilt buttons in a very irritating way. However, do realize being perfect is a thankless job.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

This is your time to slowly start new routines and get more focused. Although you’re better running at maximum levels, this week you need to chill out and get back some perspective. All those ideas you’ve been wanting to set into motion need some more thought before you let them loose, so prepare now and ensure your success later.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Just because he’s pretty doesn’t mean he’s right. Be wary of getting sucked into something less than ideal with someone who looks the part but can’t truly play that role. As it goes, red flags will be lighting up, so recognize them when they appear. Otherwise, talking yourself out of them now won’t result in a pretty sight later.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

It’s sexy to disagree — tension will make you hot and bothered with that certain someone. However, as much as you want to break free and not be consumed by these aggravations, you won’t be able to help it, and it’ll be through this weird obsessing that’ll come even stranger passions.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Listening is a skill you’re going to have to pull out and perfect, as reading in-between the lines and mixing in your own intuition properly will be key to unlocking your baby’s babble this week. In other words, it’s once again that unfortunate time when a deluge of passive-aggressive behaviors is coming and it’ll be time to play mommy again.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Regret is going to be wrapping your brain into quite a little tizzy, as you have to go forward on matters that didn’t have to be as serious but are so because of actions you set into motion in the past. Yes, drama, but whatever the case, this little nostalgic jaunt will get rid of any “what ifs” that have haunted you and will ultimately set you free.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

This is your time of year and no one should ruin your parade, least of all you. Put all that self-doubt and fear aside, no matter how hard you have to beat it back. Right now you are your own worst enemy, trying to dissect more out of a situation than is there. Seriously, no matter how hard you try to dig, some matters just aren’t that deep.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

No matter how easily you see answers, it doesn’t mean everyone else involved is going to have the same clarity. Sorry to say you are going to have to be patient for that someone to get with the program. That’s not to say they’re dumb, but their priorities aren’t the same as yours now. If you want it to sync up, unfortunately it’ll be you who has to do the waiting.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Be careful what you say and to whom, because not everyone will be accountable for his or her judgment and ability to protect you. If something really is so precious to you, keep it to yourself until you are feeling more secure, because, as of now, airing your vulnerabilities will only lead you to being open for haters to attack and try to destroy.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Show some graciousness and watch the rewards come on in. While you’re the best at many things, you don’t always have to take home the prize. This week, let losing be your secret; let your baby think he knows better. Although he’ll initially be the only one to actually buy his own heroicness, the epic payback will make you a believer.

Is Your Sex Life Boring? Find Out How To Spice It Up

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, the passion can ebb for the simple reason that you both know exactly what’s coming. It could be the best and dirtiest sex anyone has ever had, but it doesn’t matter: it’s the same as it was last time. It doesn’t mean you care any less about your partner, or find them any less sexually attractive, it just means you need to break the spell of sameness, and break out of your stale sex routine. Read more Keep reading »

Should You Google A Date?

You knows the scenario. You meet somebody new, finagle a first and last name, go home, let it gel and then your computer screws it all up. “Find out more!” it hisses “C’mon. Don’t you want to … Google?”

Yes. The obvious answer is yes, and before you know it you’re double-clicking your way through said person’s Facebook page (OMG! It’s public) and reading their poorly written Tumblr and grimacing at a slew of mundane tweets. Suddenly you aren’t so excited about that upcoming date. Damn Google. Keep reading »

When The Other Woman Is A Younger Woman

I’m twenty-three years old and I’m already being replaced by younger women—scratch that—girls. Sure, their boobs might be perkier and their nubile bodies may not have years and pounds of alcohol and comfort foods appended to their hips, but honestly, what is so alluring about a pre-pubescent chick who has no life experience? Oh God, I sound like my mother post-divorce, mid-hellacious dating, pre-finding the last good man on earth. But she was forty-five; mother of three. Not twenty-three, with no children. Hell no. Keep reading »

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