Tipping the scales at 300 pounds through college made meeting my beloved at a frat party or in the dining hall impossible. It wasn’t just the reactions I received from the opposite sex, but since I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin, how could I trust anyone else to be comfortable with me? At 23, I found myself with a great job at CBS News, living in the city that never sleeps and 132 pounds lighter – aka suddenly desirable to men. Yet not only had I never been kissed, but I had never been on a date. I had worked hard to lose the pounds, but was not ready for the attention that came with it. Keep reading »
The other night, I met a fellow writer at a dinner party. I’d read her work and followed her online but had no idea what she was really like. I think I assumed because she’s 10 years younger than me and, in my mind, part of the “cool” crowd, that we wouldn’t get along, but we did and were soon chatting away about mutual friends and work and gossip and pop culture.
We took the train back to our neighborhood, and she asked if I wanted to get a drink. I realized in that moment that even though it was freezing cold out, I did want to keep talking. The truth is, though, if one of my other friends had suggested getting a drink at 10:30, I probably would’ve begged off with the excuse that I had overdue work waiting for me. That wouldn’t have been a lie—as a freelancer, I always have something hanging over my head—but it could wait an hour or two. In the same way that I might skip a weekly comedy show because I can always go another time but would get tickets to a special one-night-only event, it seemed like I should take advantage of this opportunity because it was something special. Keep reading »
In the interest of beginning the year with a little self-reflection, I’ve taken some time to ponder the state of my love life. The landscape is as such: lots of nice guys on the horizon. I said horizon. They are watching me from a distance. Sniffing around my way. Saying howdy. Scuffling away without writing their name on my dance card, if you will.
The good news is, I’ve finally started to attract the kinds of guys I want to. The high-quality ones with good hearts. Only problem is, these guys tend to be more reserved (or maybe respectful?) than the guys I’m used to dating. In the past, the guys who’ve scored dates with me are the guys who approach without hesitation.
I’ve become accustomed to an old-fashioned dating model where I smile, flirt shamelessly, drop breadcrumbs of interest, perform my gender normative role as female and wait for the guy to follow the trail. In the past, I’ve lived by the dating credo, “If he likes me, he’ll come to me.” Keep reading »
You’re single. You’re on the lookout. We get it. And you’re probably not looking for love in all the wrong places because you know where these “wrong places” are (all-day buffets, an ex’s bed, Red Lobster, a strip club, to name a few). However, if you’re searching for guys in the following spots, you might want to be aware of their downsides. Keep reading »
Many women (and some men, too) fall in love and think they can “fix” the person they are with. He may have bad hair, she may smoke, he could snore at night or wear the wrong clothing. Most of these problems can be dealt with, but there some that cannot and sexual chemistry is the biggest.
A recent letter to The Daily Mail relationship expert asks this very question: Can a relationship survive when you have everything in place but the good sex? The answer, sadly, is a resounding no. If the sex is bad, the relationship must end.
Oh I know. I can hear the groaning from here. But the answer holds firm. Try as you might to believe otherwise, sexual chemistry is an absolute dealbreaker in a relationship. It may seem shallow, but it really is not. Read more…
In Dominique Browning’s New York Times piece “Alone Again, Naturally“, she explores why being alone after a divorce or breakup seems to be more unbearable for men than it is for women:
“Judging by statistics, to say nothing of the glaring evidence around me, men do not have any problem remarrying. In fact, most men seem unable to live alone for longer than, say, at the outside … three months.”
I had always assumed that it was the other way around, but reading her piece made me question whether or not my perception was a faulty gender stereotype. I decided to canvas some men I know and get their thoughts. Keep reading »