Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Girl On Girl: My Girlfriend’s Family Is Homophobic

A few weeks ago, my girlfriend’s father told her the family is taking a vacation to Maryland this summer. Her immediate response was, “I’m not going.” Desperate to get his very un-family-oriented daughter to participate, he quickly added, “Your girlfriend can come.”

She mentioned this to me on the phone later and, naturally, I was very enthusiastic. The two of us talked about how nice it would be to lie on the beach together, especially at night. We discussed swimming in the ocean and sleeping in every day for a week. By the end of our phone conversation, the two of us had talked so much about the trip, it felt like the trip had already happened.

But things changed when my girlfriend excitedly told her mother that I’d likely be going, too. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: There Is No Such Thing As “The One”

Awhile ago, I went to one of those psychic-type people. I don’t think she called herself that, but you get the point. Anyway, she said something that has stuck in my head ever since. I think I made a passing reference to finding “The One,” and she made a face.

“There’s no such thing as ‘The One,’” she explained. “There is only the one who is ‘The One’ right now.”

And, you know what? I think she was right. Keep reading »

8 Reasons NOT To Get It On

As I’m sure you’re well aware, there are many good reasons to have sex. In fact, sometimes you don’t need any reason at all—other than, say, loving your partner.

However, sometimes a lady finds herself doing all the right things for all the wrong reasons. That’s what we’re here to cover. So if you find yourself in any of the following situations, please extricate yourself as quickly as possible:

Revenge: The most popular very-wrong reason to have sex, revenge sex never ends well. Hooking up with his best friend because you’re angry at your boyfriend will get you nowhere.

I’m not knocking or talking about the sex professionals out there—this is for the amateurs among us. Just because he bought you a lobster doesn’t mean you need to give up dessert. Catch my drift?

Ego Gratification: You must be fine if that scorching hot bartender took you home. Or not. Men have been known to do some unsavory things for physical gratification—surely you’ve heard the recent story of the guy who tried to fornicate with a park bench? The fact that he’s willing and able doesn’t say squat about your appeal.

Appliance Envy: Your roommate “doesn’t believe” in air conditioning. You can’t afford premium cable and are addicted to “Weeds.” You’re desperate to try out Wii Fit. All of these desires are perfectly rational. However, they are absolutely not worth the price of waking up next to someone you otherwise cannot stand. (Well, except for the AC, but that’s only if it’s above 100 F.)

Weight Loss: Yes, you may have read those women’s magazine articles about how being physically intimate can help you shed pounds. However, a 120-pound woman burns only 57 calories during 15 minutes of sex. That’s less than half a Hostess Ho-Ho. The sweat could do nice things for your skin, but your waist will remain the same size.

Clarity: Ever since you were nine years old and saw that topless Kate Moss Calvin Klein ad, you’ve had a hunch you were same-sex oriented. Unfortunately, the thought of sharing this with anyone scares you, so you get yourself a boyfriend. But you can’t stop thinking about that ad….

Mercy: Empathy for a sad soul is one thing; holding an intimate pity party is quite another. Oh, and you know that saying, “no good deed goes unpunished?” It goes triple in this instance. Misery loves company—good luck getting him out of your apartment.

Quid Pro Quo:

I’m not knocking or talking about the sex professionals out there—this is for the amateurs among us. Just because he bought you a lobster doesn’t mean you need to give up dessert. Catch my drift?

Fame By Association: He’s famous, you want to be. Contrary to what you might’ve surmised from that old Pamela Des Barres book, “I’m With The Band: Confessions Of A Groupie,” fame is not transmissible through intimate contact. However, lots of other things are, so watch out.

Dear Wendy: Will I Ever Find Love?

Wendy is stuck at jury duty this week and will hopefully—knock on wood!—be back tomorrow or Thursday next week. Until then, here’s one of her best Dear Wendy columns.

I am the last single girl standing in my group of friends. At 26, almost 27, it probably isn’t the worst place to be but I do have concerns. Three of my best friends found their husbands through me. Basically I befriended a guy, introduced them and then a courtship started. I don’t want to sound bitter because my friends are wonderful amazing human beings and they have truly found their match in these men. My concern is that my friends have all married and it makes complete sense to me that men would want to spend their lives with them. They all are such beautiful, talented, amazing women so of course they are desirable. I’m worried that I may never find a love because in the scope of things I am just a plain ordinary girl. While I don’t necessarily think there is anything wrong with me being plain and ordinary, I am worried that I will never attract a man. How could someone choose to be with me when there are amazing women everywhere and upgrading is fairly easy? Do I have a chance at finding love or should I just get used to the fact that I might always be single? — Young Maid

Keep reading »

What To Do Before A First Date

Congratulations! The upbeat, All-American-esque cutie you met last week has asked you out on a date. You’re pretty darn happy for yourself, but let’s face it, you’re also slightly nervous because first dates are, well, nerve-wracking. Never fear—luck is on your side, as are we. Follow these seven tips for first date preparation and tell us how your night turned out. Keep reading »

“You Stuck My Flash Drive In Your … ” And More Crazy Dating Horror Stories

Craigslist is a dependable source for roommates, concert tickets, bromancing and, best of all, missed connections! Feast your eyes on how the tale of this date started out:

”You stuck my flash drive in your vagina. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I don’t think this is a fad sweeping the city, so this one’s for you.”

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: Guy Wants His Girlfriend To Get A Landing Strip

Wendy is stuck at jury duty this week and will hopefully—knock on wood!—be back tomorrow or Thursday next week. Until then, here’s one of her best Dear Wendy columns.

I’ve recently started dating a super smart, weird, quirky, cute, funny and beautiful girl. I never like anyone, but I like her. There’s one minor (hairy) issue. She doesn’t keep things very trimmed down there. Now, before you get angry, let me preface this by saying that I really don’t need a Brazilian on my girl (or even anything really from the South American continent, for that matter)– just a nice landing strip. Is that too much to ask for? Those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, so I do keep my things regularly trimmed. We’ve only been dating for a month or so, but we’ve spent a lot of time together (it’s a long distance thing, so we’ve basically spent the past few weekends totally together = relationship time warp), so I feel as if this isn’t jumping the gun or anything to think about long term personal grooming habits. am I being a superficial douche? Isn’t it fair to ask for some quid pro quo trimming? I think yes. If you agree, my ultimate question is: how do I broach the trimming subject with my long distance girl? What strategies do you have? — Hair Hater

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Love Vandal: A Hospital For Aching Hearts

Reader Ashley snapped this in the bathroom of a Madison, WI, bar.

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com. Keep reading »

15 Words That Are Maybe Even Better Than “Beautiful”

Christina Hendricks’ advice for men in the May issue of Esquire is overflowing with juicy gems — hell, her argument that men should use the word “panties” more because it’s “sexy,” “girlie,” and “naughty” even won me over. (Just don’t try and bring back “moist,” Miss Holloway.) Another quote had me thinking that maybe she’d been reading The Frisky.

“There are better words than beautiful. Radiant, for instance. It’s an underused word. It’s a very special word. ‘You are radiant.’ Also, enchanting, smoldering, intoxicating, charming, fetching.”

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: Do Beautiful People Only Date Beautiful People?

Wendy is stuck at jury duty this week and will hopefully — knock on wood! — be back tomorrow or Thursday. Until then, here’s one of her best Dear Wendy columns.

I acknowledge and accept that I’m not a perfect 10. But what drives me nuts is that people keep telling me I’ve got no chance of finding love with someone who is hot or hotter than me. Why can’t I go for it? Why does someone like me have to settle for less? Only beautiful people can be with beautiful people? If you’re not perfect in looks, you don’t deserve anything hot? I tell people what I want and I’ve had enough experiences to say I’ve earned the right to know what I want and be selective instead of the whole “as long as they’re alive” approach. So, please, in your opinion, do you think the beautiful people can only be with the beautiful people? — Not a 10

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