Reader Claire snapped this in Rome, where she’s studying abroad: “I saw this love note outside of a middle school. They’re everywhere in Rome!”
Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
Yesterday’s “Dear Wendy” column, in which a woman wrote in asking whether she should marry or dump her boyfriend whose earning potential she felt was much less than hers, sparked a huge discussion (over 170 comments and counting). We Frisky-ians have lots of opinions on the issue of marriage and feminism and the role money plays in long-term commitments. And we aren’t the only ones discussing these hot topics! The New York Times had a big article just the other day on this very topic. In an age when “185 women [are] earning college degrees at age 22 for every 100 men,” and “nearly a fifth of all men between the ages of 25 and 54 [do] not have jobs,” many people — men and women — are redefining expectations of marriage. Unlike the generations of women that came before, many of us are no longer financially dependent on men, which means our role in marriage — a financial institution — is drastically changing. It’s happening so quickly that it seems our social and biological conditioning hasn’t had time to catch up. Keep reading »
I currently live with my boyfriend in a rental apartment. I really hate renting and want to buy property and though I can afford to buy something on my own, my boyfriend can’t and is putting a lot of restrictions of what kind of housing he’d be willing to move into. For example, he knows I can only afford a condo or co-op, but has said he’ll only live in a private house, and basically, if I buy an apartment, our relationship is over. Everything in the place we’re currently living in is broken and we have a lot of problems with our landlord, so even if I don’t find something to buy, I would still like to move when the lease is up, but my boyfriend even has a lot of requirements for that. He has to have parking and outdoor space for a grill, but we live in New York, and finding a rental we could afford that has both those amenities is very hard. We’ve lived together for four years and I cannot picture my life without him, but I feel that his laundry list of requirements and preferences for housing are keeping me from moving out of a place I really hate living in, and holding me back from doing something that would really benefit me. How can I make him understand how important it is to me to move, and hopefully into something I own and not just rent? How can I make him understand that we are wasting money on rent? At the very least I would like to move into a cheaper rental so I could save money to purchase a home. He would also be able to save money too, but all he sees is that parking spot! — Wants To Move
For some women, first date preparation is a leg wax, a blowout, and brand-new, five-inch pumps. For others, it’s a swipe of lip gloss.
But for me, it’s always at least a solid hour of internet research. To me, pre-date Googling is less a verb than an Olympic-style event of decathlon proportions. There’s the phone number check, there’s the email address cross-search, there’s the quick dip into the search box of his alma mater, then there’s also a quick perusal of his Facebook page, and, occasionally, his friends’ Facebook pages. Keep reading »
The majority of my friends are doing cool things with their lives: I have lots of journalist friends, friends who got cosmetology licenses, friends in law school, friends taking the Series 7 exams, even friends deployed in Iraq.
Yet, for all the ones climbing up their career ladders, there are a few 26- to 30-year-olds who’re still hanging out on the first or second rung. I’ve pretty much stopped asking, “Do you think you’ll start applying to jobs in that field you’re interested in?” or “Do you think you’ll move out of your hometown?” because the answer is always some variation of “I don’t know” or “not yet.” Some of these conversations have been going on for years.
I’m starting to see that your 20s aren’t just about making bad relationship decisions. They’re about making bad career decisions as well. Keep reading »
I’m 28 and have been dating my 34-year-old boyfriend for almost two years. This relationship was “hot and heavy” from the get-go because our personalities really clicked and he is the first man I have ever loved. However, I regret moving in with him a year ago not because I don’t love him, but because I’m not sure he can give me the type of life I want. When we met, we made the same amount of money. However, now I’m way above him in salary and I’m also going back to school for my Masters (I’ve always been an over-achiever). My future looks very bright compared to his. He lost his previous job and his current job pays barely enough to cover his minimum monthly expenses! The worst part is I’m not sure I have faith in his professional money-making abilities. If I stay with him, I can totally see a life where I’m bringing home the bacon while he’s the stay-at-home dad … which might be nice for some women, but that is NOT the life for me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want him to support me. I simply would like my life partner to be able to pull his own weight and possibly “carry” me temporarily should I need it — and I would do the same for him. Bottom line, I don’t feel safe financially with him, but I do love him. Should I marry him (and carry all the financial responsibility) or break up with him (and risk never finding another man who loves me as much)? — Money-Maker
This weekend I went out on the town. I met one of my only single girlfriends out at a bar, drank a bucket load of prosecco, and watched her make out with an off-duty cop from New Jersey. I made excuses that I was exhausted and was back at home, in bed, at 2 a.m. Kelly was slightly disappointed in my turning in early. “This isn’t the Amelia I remember,” she scolded. “Next time, you’ve got to be out until at least four.” I promised her that next time I would be. But I was lying. Keep reading »
Do you like strictly tall, dark and handsome men, or does your taste tend to deviate just a bit from the norm? While I would never kick Gilles Marini out of bed — um, unless my husband walked in on us, I guess — I have a few turn-ons that are a little less mainstream and wasn’t at all surprised to learn I’m not alone. In a recent study of 2,500 women, it was revealed that women name “facial stubble,” a “geeky personality,” and a “hairy chest” as their top three “secret turn-ons.” Other traits included in the top ten were: “grey hair, glasses and being a passionate supporter of a sports team.” Glasses are hot, but being a sports fan? That one surprises me. Keep reading »
Je suis désolée. I’m sorry. I spent some time last week reading my posts from the past two months and realized that, well, I’ve been a complete Debbie Downer lately. This is the supposedly adventurous life of some girl in Paris??? I thought as I clicked through. Sure, the whole Alex fiasco was definitely a dramatic romance, but looking back at my words, I saw how I was missing everything around me. My waking up was in part prompted by a random IM from an acquaintance back in NYC. An older man with whom I’ve always had a guiltily flirtatious rapport with. When I told him I’d been a bit down lately, he almost berated me. “You have to have adventures. You are so free now. You’ll see: later, there will be no time for this type of stuff. You need to just go places and see things.” For a moment this made me depressed. As if I were barreling headfirst towards this place of older age and responsibility, and was already regretting not being more fun right now. But then I saw that he was right. Why do we spend so much of our lives living in the future? Or lingering in the past? Why does it never occur to you to just not think too much about things? (Well, because it’s really hard to do this, but it shouldn’t be.) That day, I made two swift decisions. Keep reading »