Don’t judge me by my Android phone, Match.com! I resent the fact that a new study done by the online matchmaking site claims that Droid users are the loosest of all Smartphone owners. I quote: “Androids may be the newest Smartphone on the market but their users have already been around the block.” from a recent blog post which details the findings of this cellular study.
According to their research, “62 percent of Android users have sex on the first date and are most likely to have a one night stand, at 55 percent.” Oh, that’s great. Now I have to hide my Droid so my date doesn’t believe I’m just down for a quickie in the bathroom stall of a restaurant. Keep reading »
I used to be really skinny. So skinny my ribs stuck out.
Everywhere I went, women said, “You’re so skinny! Oh my god. I’m jealous.”
I had friends that were more gorgeous than me, but it was OK, because I was really skinny.
“I wish I was as skinny as you,” they said.
I smiled. I said, “Nah, whatever.” Keep reading »
I’ve been putting off making the trip to the county clerk’s office to see about getting Patrick and I common-law married. In order for me to be enrolled on his health insurance, Patrick’s employers need some kind of governmentally sanctioned proof that we’re not just total liars. The process in Texas for proving you’re not a total liar is pretty simple: you tell the government that you’re not a total liar, sign a piece of paper, and they believe you. Suddenly, marriage!
This one little trip that I can’t seem to make is probably one of the most important things I could be doing just about now. And yet here I sit in my lacy black silk pajamas (Fancy Lady Obsessed With “Downton Abbey” So She Bought Some Nice Underthings Alert!), drinking coffee and fending off keyboard-fascinated cats instead of achieving the twofer of making my relationship more legitimate in the eyes of the government and ensuring that I have proper health coverage.
Though to be fair, I also buy extra underwear so that I can go a month without hitting the laundromat, so know that I am a world-class procrastinator of some renown. It’s not that I have apprehensions about becoming a wife.
Right? Keep reading »
The “toxic bachelor.” It was a term we’d never really heard of until a 33-year-old male friend, fresh off a breakup, mentioned it. “I want to settle down,” he said. “I want to start a family. Plus, I’m getting to that age where if I don’t do it soon, I’m in danger of becoming a ‘toxic bachelor.’” A toxic bachelor, he explained, is when it’s no longer cute to be single, and seems sad and desperate instead. For this particular friend, his “toxic bachelor” age was 35, and we wanted to know if other men felt any kind of desperate pull to settle down. So we asked them. Over IM.
Keep reading »
So, you and your boyfriend are considering moving in together? Congratulations! This is an exciting time in any relationship — a big step with a lot of fun moments along the way. (Shopping for new art and eating Chinese food on the living room floor? Yes please!) My boyfriend and I have lived together for about three years, and in that time we’ve learned a lot about each other and our relationship. We’ve dealt with my messy habits, different levels of social needs, and limited closet space. We’ve also had countless jam sessions, “Arrested Development” marathons, and a “Titanic” reenactment party that no one will ever forget.
While we’re certainly not perfect, we have figured out — through trial and error — how to make the cohabitation thing work. The big secret? Don’t leave your hair in the shower drain. The second most important thing? Talk about things before they become major problems. It’s easy to think that just because you love each other, living together will come naturally, but in reality, sharing a space with someone always requires some planning and negotiation. Here are five things to talk about before, during, and after you move in together… Keep reading »
Consider yourself lucky, Demi Moore; you broke free from Ashton a healthier woman (just don’t smoke any more of those crazy herbs, girl). New research suggests that marrying a younger man may be a cause for increased mortality rates among women. That totally shatters my dreams of bagging a 30-year-old on my 55th birthday. It seems that if we want to have a long and healthy life, us women are better off marrying a guy our age — or at least that’s what researchers believe. Keep reading »