• Relationships

What Does “Having It All” Mean To You?

Recently, I read a Tweet from someone — oh, fine, it was Julia Allison — who had just finished reading the Vogue interview with Gisele Bundchen and said she challenged anyone to tell her the woman didn’t have it all. OK, I’ll bite. I’m definitely not convinced the woman has it all. Sure, she’s drop-dead beautiful, rich, famous, has a successful career, and is married to a hot football star whom she has a brand-new baby with, but so what? Two weeks ago you could have said Sandra Bullock had it all, too, and looked what happened there. And call me cynical, but I have a hard time believing that a guy like Tom Brady, a handsome professional athlete who, let’s not forget, left his ex-girlfriend, Bridget Moynahan, when she was pregnant with their first baby to hook up with Gisele, is like some super committed, stand-up guy who would never dream of cheating on his wife. Please! So, no, I wouldn’t say Gisele necessarily “has it all.” But, what is having it all, anyway? Keep reading »

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In Case You Need More Reasons To Be Skeptical About Online Dating

OK, folks. Not to be a wet rag, but here’s further proof that online dating can be kind of sketchy even though it’s supposedly a perfectly acceptable way to meet a mate. Check out some of the cold, hard stats about that hot stranger you think you’re sending winky faces to. Hint: they may be lying about stuff. Also, can it be true that “1 of 3 women who meet men online have sex on the first encounter”? That’s just crazy. All the more reason to get excited about non-lame online dating sites like HowAboutWe.com. Just sayin’. [BuzzFeed]

Dear Wendy: “Should I Tell My Boyfriend I Lied About My Sexual History?”

Two years ago when my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about when we lost our virginity, I lied and told him I was 22 and had slept with three people before him. The truth is that I’d just lost my virginity a few months earlier when I was 25 and hadn’t slept with anyone else until my boyfriend. I [was] just embarrassed to tell the truth and, at the time, didn’t foresee this relationship lasting very long or think the lie was going to matter. Fast forward two years, and I love this guy and now we live together. Under normal circumstances I would just come clean, and I wouldn’t fear his reaction. I know he would just laugh at me for being embarrassed and lying about something so silly. But there is another complication. Last year I was diagnosed with cervical cancer, caused by HPV. I did some treatments, and now I have recovered. My boyfriend was amazingly supportive throughout that whole difficult time, but he assumes I got the HPV before him and had it for a few years before developing cancer. He doesn’t know that I’ve only slept with one other person and it was protected sex and only two times! The odds are I got this from my boyfriend, who has slept with so many women that he can’t even count them. I’d like to get this off my chest, but I keep stopping myself. I don’t want him to think that I am telling him this just to make him feel guilty. I don’t blame him in any way. He had no idea he had HPV and it is just bad luck that this happened. Medically speaking, there is no reason to tell him since he already knows he has HPV. He just thinks he got it from me and not the other way around. So, should I tell him or is there no point now? — Recovered

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30 Things Every Woman Should Quit Doing By 30

30 Places To Do It
Places to get busy before -- or after! -- age 30. Read More »
30 Rules To Live By...
...once your turn the Big 3-0. Read More »
30 Before 30
30 things we wish we had done before age 30. Read More »

Here on The Frisky we’ve talked a lot about things every woman should do — or, at least know how to do — by the time she turns 30, but until now we haven’t focused too much on the no-nos for women after 30. After the jump, 30 things every women should stop doing once she turns 30. Keep reading »

If You’re Pregnant, Can Your Baby Get Pregnant?

Xeni Jardin at Boing Boing points us to this hilarious Yahoo! Answers question: “Can your baby get pregnant if you have sex while pregnant?” WOW. Sometimes, people boggle my mind. But, hey, what is the answer? Inquiring minds want to know: If you’re a woman, and you have a girl baby inside of you, and then you, you know, “do it,” can the baby inside of you get pregnant, like, too? Make sure you know the answer before things go horribly, terribly wrong. [Boing Boing] Keep reading »

Do You Feel A Social Stigma As A Single Woman?

In a new study, researchers talked to a whopping 32 never-married women over the age of 30 and discovered that some of them feel a social stigma because of their single status. For example, they may feel unwanted pressure at weddings during the bouquet toss, or insecure when “parents and siblings remark about their singlehood and make jokes or rude comments.” Shocking, right? That researchers could find a few women over the age of 30 who feel stigmatized because they’ve never married? Next they’ll be telling us that some women feel bad about their bodies when they gain weight! But here’s something actually kind of interesting the study discovered (if you can call any insight gleaned from talking to 32 women representative of an entire gender): While “single stigma is the worst for women in their mid-20s through mid-30s, women older than age 35 tend to be more content with being single and don’t express as much dissatisfaction as do younger women.” Maybe that’s because they’ve finally told their nosy family members to shut up and mind their own business and they quit participating in silly bouquet tosses at weddings. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Try To Reconnect With My Former Friend?”

Shortcuts” is a new feature of “Dear Wendy” in which I answer readers’ letters in two sentences or less because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Here we go with round two:

After many years of friendship, a friend and I had a falling out shortly after I got married last May. There were many issues that needed to be resolved in order to rectify our friendship. I sent her an e-mail expressing my concerns and even offered to fix the issues that we had in the friendship. She ignored my email and chose to not contact me again, with no “true” closure between us. We haven’t spoken in many months and while I’m not overly excited to contact her again (after all, she chose not to respond to the e-mail I sent), I did some Facebook “research” and discovered she still has herself tagged in some of my wedding photos. Personally, I would remove the tags on the photos and move forward in life, so I’m wondering if it’s possible she is trying to remember “the good ol’ days” of our friendship or could possibly be seeking to re-connect with me at a more appropriate time later in our lives? Should I hold out any hope that she could return at some point? — Former Friend

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Writing About Your Personal Life Online, A Cautionary Tale

Writing about one’s personal life on the internet for a living is a tricky thing. We Frisky staffers, for example, have each had to decide for ourselves how much of our private lives and personal thoughts we’re willing to put out there and to set boundaries accordingly. I, for one, decided long ago that certain things that were off-limits here on The Frisky and on my personal blog, City Wendy (or anywhere else, for that matter).

I stay away from intimate revelations about my family, my husband, and my husband’s family. If I’m inspired by friends’ personal experiences, I check with them first before I write about them, and then I’m always careful to give them pseudonyms and avoid providing details that may “out” them. I won’t write (much) about my sex life and I’d never consider writing about anyone I care about in a way that might embarrass them or jeopardize their jobs or other personal relationships …
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Things We Wish We Knew About Womanhood At Age 18

Yesterday, Esquire magazine’s Twitter feed asked its readers, “What about manhood do you know now that you wish you’d known at eighteen?” The response from a writer I know caught my eye — “Good credit is better than good sex!” — and I thought, Hey, that doesn’t just apply to manhood! That applies to womanhood, too! So I asked my fellow Frisky bloggers to answer this question:

What about womanhood do you know now that you wish you’d known at 18?

Our responses, after the jump … Keep reading »

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