Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dater X: “Can I Ask You A Serious Question?”

Dater X: "Can I Ask You A Serious Question?"

Life is full of surprises: maybe you get pregnant without trying, win the lottery, find faith or cheat death. Other times, it’s the small, simple unexpectancies (I’m aware that “unexpectancies” isn’t a real word, but it should be) that make all the difference. Over the last few weeks, Baby Face has been my pleasant “unexpectancy.”

Having reconnected after five (or is it six?) years without a trace of contact, Baby Face and I have been spending a lot of time catching up, becoming reacquainted and starting back at square one. A lot has changed since our reckless beer-funneling college days, and not just because we’ve graduated to fancy craft beer and real glassware. Back in the day, Baby Face and I were friends, but we were never confess-your-deepest-secrets, share-your-embarrassing-stories kinds of friends. Last week, I was able to see Baby Face twice—once for lunch in the city and once for dinner and drinks at my place, where we were able to really talk and get to know each other, sweatpants on, makeup off and all. Keep reading »

Finding A Tattoo Artist After Trauma

A few months ago, one of my friends posted on Facebook that he was looking for a new tattoo shop that was woman-friendly and queer-friendly after a bad experience with his last artist. I asked him privately who the artist was who he’d had a bad experience with and he gave me the guy’s name and the tattoo shop he worked at. “He’s quiet and nice in person, but when I friended him on Facebook I found out he’s anti-choice, anti-gay, racist, misogynist, and pro-gun. After he defended the Hobby Lobby decision I decided I can’t ignore his politics anymore.”

I told him I could relate: I had gone to one artist who had done fantastic work, but when I friended him on Facebook I found out that he had dressed in redface to be the Blackhawks mascot for Halloween and was just throwing out people’s criticisms wholesale and telling them to unfriend him instead. More recently, I’d gotten beautiful work done at a different shop that had done similarly great work for my friends, but when I went back to look into getting knuckle tattoos, the artist had thrown out my few guidelines — I didn’t want the tattoo to be black, and I wanted it to be pretty without being too feminine. He insisted that it had to be black and block lettering or it’d take away from the “impact” of the tattoos. I had asked for what I’d asked for because I already have black block letters on the insides of my fingers and I needed to differentiate, and because these are my hands. I want to love this tattoo for the rest of my life. He clearly didn’t care, so I canceled the appointment. Keep reading »

This Mandatory (And Sexist) Sex Ed Workshop Is Why Society Is Moving Backwards

This Mandatory (And Sexist) Sex Ed Workshop Is Why Society Is Moving Backwards

As a modern woman who values her reproductive rights and the education of sexual health, I’m ALL ABOUT today’s young folks taking sex ed classes— but not when they’re sexist, bigoted and alllll sorts of wrong.

A secondary school in Singapore, Hwa Chong Institution, held a mandatory sex education session recently sponsored by Focus on the Family, a Colorado Springs-based non-profit known for preaching abstinence and anti-gay rhetoric. One whistle-blower, a brave teen named Agatha Tan, was so appalled by the sexist and bigoted materials provided in the course that she wrote a thoughtful open letter to her principal complaining about the class, and posted it to Facebook. So why was she so appalled? Prepare to facepalm for days… Keep reading »

Tech Companies Want To Help Female Employees Freeze Their Eggs, But What We Really Need Is Better Paternity Leave

Apple and Facebook are going to start helping female employees cover the cost of freezing their eggs — some employees, anyway; Apple’s benefits vary depending on your position — so that those women don’t have to choose between having a family and working through some of the prime years of their careers.

This is great news for women who want to handle their careers and personal lives one-at-a-time and feel the pressure to sacrifice and compromise their careers in order to have children before they’re no longer fertile. It provides those employees with another option, some more flexibility, and that’s fantastic. But I’m not going crazy over it, especially in Apple’s case, because whereas Facebook also provides male employees with up to 17 weeks of paternity leave, Apple provides women with up to 18 weeks and men with up to six weeks of parental leave. Keep reading »

Mommie Dearest: From Helicopters To Lawnmowers, With Free-Range In Between, What Kind Of Parent Will You Be?

Mommie Dearest: From Helicopters To Lawnmowers, With Free-Range In Between, What Kind Of Parent Will You Be?

Parenting can be overwhelming. Not the actual act of being a parent — although that certainly has its challenges — but the whole world of parenting philosophies. It seems like every other week we’re bombarded with a new way to parent, each one promising even more chances of insuring your offspring’s success. For a new parent in particular, it can be incredibly overwhelming. What are these different types of parenting? Do they actually make your kid into the next future Ivy League, football playing, guitar prodigy? (Spoiler alert: No, probably not). In the interest of helping future and new parents wade through the bullshit that can come along with trying to figure it all out, today we’re taking a look at various styles of parenting… Keep reading »

Girl Talk: The Transition From Hairstylist To Friend

Girl Talk: The Transition From Hairstylist To Friend

One of the things I lost when I stopped shampooing and cutting my hair was regular hangouts with my former hairstylist/now friend, Maggie. I met her after several bad experiences at Hair Cuttery and Great Clips, where I’d go for a $20 hair cut, say, “Fuck my hair up!” and the stylist would interpret that as “You want a layered bob.” I did not want a layered bob. I wanted fucked-up hair.

I think I was 22 when I started seeing Maggie on the reg. I decided I’d splurge on a $35 haircut at Regis, one of those slightly-more-upscale mall hair salons where you learn that paying $15 more for your haircut really goes a long way. It was a lot for me at the time when you counted the tip, too, but Maggie made it worth it. I said, “Fuck up my hair!” and she looked at my hair for a minute or so, decided how to artfully fuck it up, and proceeded to do so. Keep reading »

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