Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

True Story: Someone I Love Told Me He Thinks Women Lie About Rape

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I have an ongoing joke with two of my close friends, about a Tumblr we’re going to create called “I’m Disappointed in You.” It will include a variety of things people — most of whom we thought knew better — have done which lowered them in our esteem. Examples will include deliberately racist comments, fat shaming, heterosexism, anti-feminist nonsense … you get the idea. It’s a joke, but it’s based on a feeling I’m sure we’re all familiar with.

A few weeks ago, I was startled by the kind of disappointment that can only come from someone you love and trust. I wish I remember what started this conversation,  but suddenly a man who has done an excellent job of loving me for almost 20 years said to me, “I think that if there are 10 women who say they’ve been raped, eight of them are telling the truth, and two of them are probably lying.” Keep reading »

I Just Can’t With This “Fall Boyfriends” Craigslist Ad

According to a “Rants & Raves” Craigslist personal ad, two Manhattan ladies are on a quest to find themselves a pair of fall boyfriends to replace their casual summer hook ups, because “now is the time you must start dating someone in order to spend the holidays together/go on ski trips/have a NYE kiss you’re stoked on.” Dudes without a “chill group of bro friends” need not apply. These guys must be six-foot or taller (those with sparkling personalities may be able to pass if they’re just one inch shy), an Ivy League education, and an affinity for Instagramming homemade autumn meals and couples’ selfies. These chill bros’ sartorial choices should include “Driving mocs, Barbour coat, Half-Zips (at least three, please send pics if possible), Ray-Bans (Wayfarers or Clubmaster preferred, but open to other styles), loafers, Patagonia vest(s), Vineyard Vines, basketball shorts for me to sleep in.” Access to a summer share in the Hamptons is a plus. Keep reading »

3 Reasons To Never Use The Term ‘Friendzone’

3 Reasons To Not Use The Term Friendzone

I’m writing about sex this week — specifically, the situation in which certain men complain about being “friendzoned” by women who choose not to see them sexually. Now, I recognize that sex is a highly-charged, volatile, and subjective issue, so it’s my goal to remain as logical and objective as possible as I urge all men to completely remove “friendzoned” from their vocabulary — especially when they’re using it to deride a woman’s sexual choices.

First, what does “frieindzoned” even mean? Basically, a man who’s complaining about being “friendzoned” by a woman is upset that this woman sees him in only a non-sexual manner, or only as a friend. But before we examine all three scenarios where a man would make such a complaint, and why he would be wrong to do so, let’s take a step back and see what kind of men we’re talking about. Read more on Cracked…

Clean & Clear’s #SeeTheRealMe Campaign Is Actually Pretty Awesome

"Reveal Your True Self"

Skin care brand Clean & Clear has launched a self-acceptance campaign called #SeeTheRealMe. To be honest, I’m always a little wary and critical of faux feel-good ads like the ones Dove and Always have churned out, but poet Azure Antoinette makes Clean & Clear’s approach way more awesome. Antoinette, who has been called the Maya Angelou of the millennial generation, tackles how young girls’ longing to be seen clashes with their fear of being judged. I kind of dig it. Thoughts? [Women You Should Know]

Dating Don’ts: Why It’s Okay To Choose Your Career Over Dating

Dating Don'ts: Career
Dating Don’ts: How To Deal When Your Career Is Blowing Up And Your Boyfriend's Isn't
What to do when yours is blowing up and his isn't. Read More »
Scared Of Success?
Why does this woman's career success send men running scared? Read More »
Astro 101: Careers!
Astrology Jobs
How to find the best job for your sign! Read More »
Dating Dont’s: Why It’s Okay To Choose Your Career Over Dating

Here is a confession — though I write a dating column, and have for quite some time, I’m not currently dating anyone right now. The last relationship I was in was about two years ago, and in the time between then and now, there have been plenty of dates, but nothing has stuck. Dating in general isn’t hard, but it takes work, energy, time that could be used doing hundreds of other things, like learning how to weave or baking all the bread you eat yourself, or creating a rooftop garden out of two sad planters and a handful of seeds. The way we choose to spend our time is our choice alone, not something to be judged, and not something that we should feel ashamed of. I know this. As a person who willfully chooses to spend many nights trawling beauty blogs on the internet and conducting deep, vast research on the best pink lipstick for my exact skin tone and coloring, I know that the way I spend my time could be spent better, but I know that the choice to spend time on really anything is mine alone. That’s why I’m perfectly comfortable coming out and saying it — right now, I’m choosing to focus on my career instead of finding a partner. Keep reading »

Why I Married My Abuser

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How To Help
What To Do When Someone You Love Stays In An Abusive Relationship
What to do when a loved one stays in an abusive relationship. Read More »

My ex-husband was the most romantic person I’ve ever met. He also hit me on the day we got married, while I was wearing my wedding dress.

That’s why when I saw the footage of ex-Baltimore Ravens player Ray Rice punching his then-fiancée Janay Palmer, I wasn’t surprised that she was now his wife. It isn’t — as many of the commenters on the original TMZ video have said — “all about the money,” or “she doesn’t care about taking a punch,” and it’s especially not that “she is telling all women it’s okay for your man to beat you.”

Domestic violence is so much more complicated than a lack of money, or not having self-respect, or feeling like it’s OK for your man to beat up on you. I’m not an expert on what makes women stay in abusive relationships or even marry their abuser. But I did both of these things and I can speak to my particular story. Keep reading »

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