The holidays remind us of family get-togethers sharing food, laughter and bonding. But if you are a food addict, the holidays may be one big, guilt-ridden binge. Food addicts think about food and have memories of food too, but they will most likely be linked with memories of hiding it, being punished by withdrawal of food, or being abandoned from loving relationships and using eating as a means of comfort. With all of these complicated issues surrounding the act of eating, it’s no wonder the holidays are so stressful for people who struggle with food addictions. The frenzy and excitement brings stress, and food addicts comfort and calm their stress with food. How can you help if you are addicted, married to or know a food addict during the holidays? Click her to read an expert’s advice on Your Tango…
So you’ve finally found The One (or at least The One For The Foreseeable Future) and you’ve committed to a serious relationship. Now what? In our new weekly column, Life After Dating, we’ll discuss the unique joys and challenges of coupledom.
I’ve been with my boyfriend, Max*, for five years now. We are completely committed to each other and about as happy together as real-life couple can be. I don’t question the fact that we will be together forever. I don’t want to date anyone else. And yet, I still get crushes on other people.
I’ve always been the crushing type. I tend to fall in love with 10 different people a day, for one reason or another. I toss my feelings around pretty freely, and the result is frequent, fleeting crushes on everyone from my favorite barista to the guy who came over to set up my wireless internet to about one-third of the contestants on “The Voice.”
“I briefly fell in love with the cable guy today,” I’ll tell Max over cocktails. He laughs it off. Luckily, he loves this quirk about me. Keep reading »
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): There will be many uphill battles you’ll have to fight this week, because people just can’t seem to fly with your ideas. Yes, the people you want to affect will be hard to win over, but realize it’s fear not stubbornness that is behind this. While you might want write them off as wimps, be patient — acceptance will have its own timeline now.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): You’ll have the stars on your side when it comes to romance, love and cosmic bonding. So, share your current batch of lofty ideals and see how they match up with what the object of your affection wants. Through this bonding, interesting realizations will rise to the surface, opening up opportunities you never thought could happen. So, unlock that deeper passion and say, “Hello to it all!” Keep reading »
Sadly, some of the rudest questions you’ll ever be asked in your life will be asked by the people who supposedly love you the most. It’s Thanksgiving, which means it’s time to hunker down and prepare to field ridiculous/annoying/ignorant questions from your relatives without losing your shit. Maybe your aunt doesn’t realize how rude it is to ask when you’re planning to get pregnant because your “time is running out” — or maybe she does. But either way, it’s best to have some zingers prepared to stun her into an embarrassed silence. From invasive relationship queries to backhanded insults about your chosen career, here are some approved responses to the most insulting questions you’re bound to be asked. Keep reading »
Does your significant other constantly chalk his bad mood up to something that you’ve said or done, then apologize almost immediately? Is your friend’s new beau always listening in to her phone calls or reading text message conversations over her shoulder? These seemingly normal scenarios can also fall into the category of abusive behavior, according to some relationship experts. “Any action that limits your freedom or self-expression could point to a pattern of control or abuse,” says author and relationship expert Maxine Brown. Read on for a list of more subtle signs that you or a friend may be in an abusive relationship on Your Tango…
Women are everywhere these days and sexuality is one area in which women have globally joined forces to have a voice. But interestingly, in all this activism, one thing that has been slightly quiet and unheard, one thing often missing, is the male voice. A lot of emphasis is being placed on empowering women, whereas a lot of stigmas and myths around sexuality are very much directed towards men. And while I don’t believe this movement is taking away men’s voices, I don’t necessarily think it’s empowering men to understand that they have a role with a voice, too.
Let’s identify some issues in which men are often blamed for perpetuating, but in actuality, men may be just as susceptible to as women. Read all six sexual issues on Your Tango…
Not many kids dream of growing up and spending their days studying the nuances of the most apathetic feeling known to the human race, yet, Thomas Goetz, a professor of empirical educational research at the University of Konstanz in Germany, found the subject of boredom at least marginally interesting enough to delve deeper into it.
“Given the high frequency of boredom in various situations encountered in daily life and the variety of detrimental experiences to which boredom is related, it is rather surprising that to date there has been little research conducted on this specific emotion,” Goetz wrote in the study published this week in the Journal Motivation and Emotion.
He makes a good point I suppose. People feel bored a lot. So, Goetz and his colleagues recruited a group of high school students (who better?) and group college students for their boredom study. The results were staggering. Well, not really, but they discovered that there are five distinct categories of boredom. Find out which one you might be experiencing right this moment. Keep reading »
I don’t really live by mottoes because you can’t boil down life to a few sentences. But there’s a simple set of rules I keep in mind when parenting: feed them, clothe them, respect them, love them … the rest is common sense. I don’t know if I made that up or stole it from an old lady’s commemorative plate, but it helps. Mainly because it’s so simple. You need that simplicity as a parent, because unfortunately, having children turns you into a drooling dumbass. Read five examples on Cracked…
I am a black woman and my best friend is a gay man. He came out to me the summer between our senior year of high school and our freshman year of college.
“I really need to tell you something,” he began, while driving us home from our summer job at the local pool. I didn’t know what to expect — an admission of love, maybe? That would be awkward.
He pulled the car over, then stared deeply into my eyes and said, “I’m gay.”
I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Oh, that’s cool with me,” I replied.
He was excited that we would remain friends and was especially happy to have someone to go out and “meet boys” with. Together we frequented New York City’s gay clubs and bars, more often than the straight ones. Splash, Therapy or Barracuda, but The Ritz was a mutual favorite. It was a two-floor bar with a huge dance floor, usually jam packed with sweaty, shirtless men by 1 a.m. The environment offered us both freedoms: I could be as black as I wanted: dance to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies,” twerk it, shake it and break it (while being applauded), and he could be as gay as he wanted. Keep reading »
Over the last few days, a bunch of ink has been spilled discussing the topic of selfies — officially the word of the year! — and whether or not they’re good or bad for women. First, at Slate, Rachel Simmons suggested that selfies are a powerful self-esteem builder for girls. Erin Gloria Ryan at Jezebel took the opposite point of view at Jezebel, writing yesterday selfies are not empowering or feminist and are, in fact, a “cry for help.” Many women on Twitter were angry with her piece, because it failed to recognize that for women who don’t fit the white, cisgender, thin, able-bodied norm, posting selfies can be a radical act. Twitter user ConvergeCollide started the hashtag #feministselfie and encouraged women to start posting their selfies and before you knew it, the topic was trending.
I take a ton of selfies, for a variety of reasons, because most people who take selfies take them for a variety of reasons and not simply because we are A) making a feminist statement or B) crying for help. I take selfies because I used to feel like I was ugly and now I don’t anymore. I take selfies because my dog can’t take pictures of me. I take selfies because I like to spend most of my time alone but I still want to document that I exist. Here are 13 of those selfies, judged on how feminist they are.