One of the things I lost when I stopped shampooing and cutting my hair was regular hangouts with my former hairstylist/now friend, Maggie. I met her after several bad experiences at Hair Cuttery and Great Clips, where I’d go for a $20 hair cut, say, “Fuck my hair up!” and the stylist would interpret that as “You want a layered bob.” I did not want a layered bob. I wanted fucked-up hair.
I think I was 22 when I started seeing Maggie on the reg. I decided I’d splurge on a $35 haircut at Regis, one of those slightly-more-upscale mall hair salons where you learn that paying $15 more for your haircut really goes a long way. It was a lot for me at the time when you counted the tip, too, but Maggie made it worth it. I said, “Fuck up my hair!” and she looked at my hair for a minute or so, decided how to artfully fuck it up, and proceeded to do so. Keep reading »
This piece does not target all men. It is geared towards the demographic of Peter Pans among the male population who, regardless of age just refuse to grow up. They are the dudes who believe they are working towards a gig that will be extremely lucrative in the long run, but in the interim they are 30+ year-old living on sofas, in a basement, unemployed and broke playing video games day in and day out or producing something mediocre that more than likely will never take off.
They are the men who aspire to be “music producers,” “paid gamers,” “actors”, “rappers,” who have yet to make it in the business, but believe they are right on the brink of a huge break through. And who knows, one out of every couple million of these dudes, perhaps, will do something great. But many simply will not and they do not have a back-up plan to fall back on in the case of failure because they just know that they are going to be successful. Keep reading »
Yesterday, comedian and talk show host Steve Harvey announced he was launching his own dating website. The site, Delightful, is a joint venture with OKCupid and Tinder owner IAC. Harvey promises it will help women become more “dateable,” so they can achieve the ultimate goal of finding a husband.
Yikes. Keep reading »
There were a great many things that I enjoyed about working at Whole Foods, particularly in the bakery — not least of all the enthusiastic parents and excited kids, the repeat customers who considered me and my coworkers a sort of tangential social circle, and anyone who was psyched as fuck to get a free cookie (I was profligate with the free cookies). However, because the store markets itself as if it is necessarily moral and responsible to shop there, it also necessarily comes along with some very colorful personalities. I think that some of the people who shopped in the bakery, specifically, had real existential crises: They were in a store that was supposed to be “healthy,” but here they were confronted with fat- and sugar-laden cake! Their brains short-circuited and they became the following people: Keep reading »
Most of us tend to portray a glossed over picture of our lives online. We cherry pick what we share and make sure our lives look like the best thing since sliced bread. With online dating, things are no different. We’re trying to present the best picture of ourselves as possible so we leave some things out and stretch the truth with others.
For instance, I claim to be really good at playing the bass guitar. This used to be true, but now less so. I leave out what many consider a red flag, that my best friend is a woman. I’m an inch taller online as well. The pictures I posted vary in age from being a week old to several years old but I look the same. Overall, it’s a pretty accurate depiction of me and, to me, it’s an acceptable level of massaging the truth. Some individuals, though, take significantly more liberties with the truth. Keep reading »