Growing up, I saw singledom as the “default” way to live. My first impression of my (divorced) parents were as singles, and they were carrying on just fine, so I figured that was just the way things were. I managed to remain pretty oblivious to the society-wide pressure to marry longer than most kids, and while a partner sounded nice, I never thought I needed one growing up or planned my future with a someday husband in mind. I reasoned that I could never plan for something so volatile as love, and always thought of myself as something of a free agent in the world, unlike many of my peers, who went through high school and college counting the days until they found a nice young guy with top-dollar earning potential so that their “real life” could start. Other people, potential partners included, seemed like such wildcards — who knew whether they’d show up for me or when? I expected to only be able to count on myself. On paper, this sounds pretty bitter, but it wasn’t that way at all — it was just how I saw life, and rarely gave it a second thought. If I had thought about it more at the time, I’d have seen it as empowering, if anything. As I got older, though, my mind felt lagged and overtaxed as it constantly ran over and prepared for every task and potential problem each day would hold. I had to check and double check my own logic, because I made nobody else privy to my day-to-day stresses, and as a result, nobody else was going to make sure I stayed on top of things. I started to feel the mental and physical toll of counting on nobody but myself.
Keep reading »
Being single is far superior to being tied down to some lovable douche who makes you ditch girls’ nights for private pizza parties. While you could argue that being Facebook official is useful for holiday parties, heavy lifting, and little spoon opportunities, boyfriends are really more trouble than they’re worth. In fact, you’d be better off investing in a puppy, instead. All of the cuddles, and 100% less of the pressure to feign interest in sports. The truth is, boyfriends would be incredibly useful if you could exchange them (along with your outfits) for different parties and seasons. In this beautiful imaginary world (where chocolate has no calories and Lilly Pulitzer is always free), every occasion would call for a new boy toy custom made for the event. Read More On College Candy…
Growing up is overrated.
You can delay it as much as you’d like, but eventually, you don’t have any choice but to give in. I never wanted to grow out of Limited Too clothing. Never. But one day, their size 16 dress fit me like a crop top and when I tried to browse the store, little girls smelling like strawberry Tootsie Rolls walked up to me and asked me to grab a shirt for them off the rack because they were still doll-sized and I was a giant. Read More On Huffington Post Women…
I’m 31 years old and I’ve never been in relationship, nor have I ever been in love. I look at couples — married, cohabiting, dating — and I’m so envious of their ability to open up and create something with another person. Sometimes I feel like I’m too broken to even be considered by the universe to find love. I’ve never suffered any emotional or mental trauma that would provoke these thoughts, but I wonder if it’s self-preservation. I feel as though I’ve put myself out there, but each time I’m unsuccessful. Any advice for someone feeling a little hopeless?
The bad news: your attitude need an adjustment. The good news: adjusting your attitude is free! Instead of telling yourself that you’re a failure, correct that narrative in your head and say that you just haven’t found the right person yet, which is totally okay and super normal. Keep reading »
When it comes to periods, guys sometimes need a little help. Since they don’t have vaginas, periods are like the Bermuda Triangle: mysterious, feared, and where good things go to die. But fear not, bros! The best thing you can do comes straight from the mouth of one of the world’s most cinematic legends, Scar from “The Lion King”— “Be prepared.” Here are some things you can expect the next time your girlfriend gets her monthly visit from Aunt Flo and how to act appropriately when these scenarios occur. Keep reading »
I was glad that my mom and I had exactly the same feelings on having “The Talk”: neither of us wanted to do it, and we were glad that it was over so quickly. I was 11-ish or 12-ish, and my mom casually asked, “We haven’t had The Talk yet, have we?” And I said, “I don’t need to, I know how it works. It’s on TV and in movies.” So she said, “OK, how does it work?” I made my left thumb and forefinger into a circle and jabbed my right index finger into the middle once or twice. My sister Sara laughed.
“That’s not really all we’re supposed to talk about,” my mom said. Keep reading »