It was only a day or so after things crashed and burned on my date with Jack when OKCupid emailed me a “match,” alerting me that someone was interested. After checking out my match’s lengthy profile, which was refreshing to see since lots of guys write the bare minimum, he seemed to have a lot of potential. He loves dogs, has a great job, appears to share my values, plays baseball, enjoys being outdoors and was pretty damn cute, to boot. I figured it couldn’t hurt to shoot him a message. Just over a week later and after many exchanges back and forth, he asked me out for drinks. Obviously, I said yes. Keep reading »
Take notes, because this is how romance is done.
After 61 years of marriage, Bob Phillips admitted to his wife Gail that he’d been looking at other women the entire time they’d been married. But Bob wasn’t ogling them or admiring their beauty. He was looking in every Sunday paper to try and find a bride who could even come close to being as “lovely” as his own bride, many years ago. He always came up empty-handed. Keep reading »
Getting married at McDonald’s would have been my wildest dream around age five. Apparently some couples in Hong Kong never let go of that dream and are actually getting married with Ronald McDonald as a witness.
The wedding program at Hong Kong McDonald’s locations has become so popular that the website has a special page for nuptial planning, complete with golden arches shaped into a heart. It reads, “Thinking about throwing a really special party for your wedding, engagement, anniversary or bridal shower? Think McDonald’s.” Keep reading »
My boyfriend Max and I don’t live together, but since it takes about two minutes to walk from my place to his, I sometimes feel like we do. When I first started thinking about moving to his neighborhood, the idea had been to move in with him (we’ve been together two years), but when an apartment nearby became available at a freakishly good deal for the area, it was too awesome to pass up. He’s lived in the same apartment for years, and I’ve grown to see it as a home away from home, so that’s where we spend most of our time, but now I also have a cozy little place to call my own as well. In the past, when our houses were a long subway ride apart, we’d spend longer stretches of time at one another’s place to avoid the commute, so these days, we actually tend to see each other less than before. Our little in-between setup gives us a lot of opportunity to see what kinds of hurdles we might come up against if we did share the same address. These past few months, we’ve learned more than ever about our own habits and about how to compromise to create a happier environment. Keep reading »
I don’t know why anyone is still talking about the friendzone. I thought we’d established that it’s a whiny, childish idea, that some people feel entitled to a friend’s romantic attraction by rights of … I don’t know, having been their friend? Or that they feel that pretending to be a friend in hopes of getting some is an OK way to relate to other people and not at all dishonest. Or that being friends with someone they think is great is a bad thing, or that they see sex as the end-all be-all of all human relationships. Yeah, definitely childish and entitled.
Of all the sort of casual, social concepts that go hand-in-hand with misogyny (you know, not rape, abuse, disenfranchisement, slavery, or genital mutilation), I think the “friendzone” is the most offensive to me. I get that it sucks to be attracted to someone and not have that attraction reciprocated. The first song I ever recorded was about my grade school crush and how he didn’t like me back. I spent years in a weird situation with another person where we both really liked each other but for one reason or another kept each other at friend-distance, which I think ultimately ruined what was a good friendship. I’ve dated a few guys who I liked better than they liked me, and vice versa. It feels insulting and off-balance, and it feels like you aren’t on the same page when you so, so thought you were.
That being said — oh well? Keep reading »
W was 13 years older than me, one of my higher-ups, married to a really wonderful man, female, straight, and a Republican. I was married too, and absolutely dedicated to the idea that I had never loved or truly been attracted to anyone but my husband, which was a self-protective lie in a really miserable circumstance. W and I worked together three days a week, and while she was training me to do one of the things I would end up doing best in my life, she also gave me such wonderful nuggets of advice as “Dazzle them with bullshit” and “Ask forgiveness, not permission,” and “Shit in one hand, wish in the other, see which one fills up first.” She encouraged me to get a better job and to dedicate as little energy as I could to the job I had so that I could give as much as I could to school. Keep reading »
Millennials aren’t exactly lining up to tie the knot, according to a new report from the Pew Research Center.
Researchers asked people of every generation whether they believe society is better off if people prioritize marriage and children. Of all the participants combined, 46 percent said society would be better off, while 50 percent thought society will do just as well if people have priorities other than marriage and babymaking (the remaining participants were either undecided or refused to respond). But what is especially notable here is that among 18- to 29-year-olds, only 29 percent said society would be better off with marriage and kids at the forefront. Keep reading »
You know those moments when your conscious mind separates from the body and you briefly become an observer of your own actions? You watch your lips move and hear yourself rambling on and on, lecturing your younger coworker about life. You’re horrified at how cynical you sound, but you can’t stop yourself. It is in that moment, watching yourself from the outside in, that you realize you have become a jaded thirtysomething. Do you know that moment? No? Allow me to elaborate.
I was talking to a 21-year-old coworker of mine. A sweet, hopeful, hardworking, lovely young gem of a person. He had overheard me discussing a friend’s failed marriage and seemed confused. I tried to explain to him that marriage was a wonderful thing, but it can also be, well, difficult. “I’m excited to get older and get married,” he said. “Life gets easier when you’re older.” My head spun on him like I was in “The Exorcist.” “WHAT?” I snorted, “Are you kidding me? Life just gets harder.”
His eyes widened. “No…” he argued, “it gets easier.”
“No, you’re wrong.” I pressed, and as I continued to explain the onerous nature of life, my tone becoming more insistent, I realized I wasn’t talking to my coworker anymore. I was talking to myself. Specifically, my idealistic 21-year-old self. Keep reading »
Have you ever played the game Two Truths/One Lie? The object of the game is to tell your audience three facts—two of which are true, and one of which is a lie. The audience must then distinguish which statement is false. I would like for you to play a modified version of the game with me now. Here are my three statements and I invite you to determine which one is false:
- I am a 43-year-old woman.
- I am completely “forgiving of a theater of men trying to get in my pants.”
- I have a dozen summer dresses in my closet.
Perhaps you noticed that I employed a quote in my second statement. Permit me to give you context—at least as much as I can. Recently, Tom Junod’s article, “In Praise of 42-Year-Old Women” was featured on Esquire.com. In his article, Junod discusses how according to Esquire’s “…occasional ranking of the ages … this year’s most alluring [woman] is not want you’d expect … No, this year it’s 42. Because it’s not what it used to be.” It’s not? Keep reading »