It seems like one Harvard professor or another in exceedingly blue, alarmingly stiff jeans is always coming out with a pop psych book about happiness and how misunderstood it is.
Apparently, people make a lot of the same mistakes about happiness over and over. We keep thinking that we have to work really hard to get to it, and do certain tricky things to capture it, sort of like that scene in “Avatar,” where they have to bond with the giant flying dinosaur things, and they’re just as likely to get killed, because you have to really earn that bond—not just any Na’vi can fly! But man, when you stick your hair tentacle into your bird dinosaur’s tendril thing and make that platonic, yet soulmate-y connection—there is NOTHING else like that shit. So worth it.
My point is, we expect happiness to be hard. But it isn’t really. And instead of fighting and waiting for it, we should probably just work on recognizing where it’s already sneaking around in the shadows of our current lives, like a little smiley cat burglar. It’s there, seriously, I promise.
I think it’s like that with beauty and self-acceptance, too. Keep reading »
It’s never too early to start prepping your child to be a beauty queen. At least, that’s what mom-to-be Jenny Oliver thinks. At seven months pregnant, she’s already entered her unborn daughter, tentatively named Ella, into her first Bonnie Baby pageant.
“With my dance skills and her sister Jess’s knowledge of pageants, there’s no way she won’t win the prize for bonniest baby … It was only a tenner to enter her and I believe you should start them young. Ella will do so much better in life with all that experience under her belt … She’s only going to be three months old but she’ll have a bit of fun on the day … Walking down that catwalk with my gorgeous baby will make me feel a million dollars — even though I’ll still be carrying my baby weight and wearing daggy clothes. I hope she wins — it would be fab to have a baby sash and crown to add to the collection. I have so much planned for her.”
Keep reading »
Shane Snow of the start-up Contently tackles the age-old question of how to properly greet a female colleague over at Medium yesterday, inspiring lively debate on the topic of hugs versus handshakes. Which is the least creepy, least offensive, most effective way to convey conviviality and mutual respect? A brief survey of The Frisky staff proved that neither is appropriate. Handshakes are stilted, formal affairs, appropriate only for job interviews. Hugs are more nebulous, usually based on a split second decision — the impulse to hug is a signal, a current present in the space between two people. The panic in this piece is palpable. Shane, let me help you. Let me save you from the “toilet of anxiety” into which you are spiraling. After the jump, find eight wonderful non-verbal options to greet women when a hug or a handshake just won’t do. Keep reading »
You swear you’ve moved on from your ex, but then you find yourself stalking his Facebook page, drunk texting, and “coincidentally” ending up in his neighborhood — sound familiar? Accepting that you’re not over him is the first step to actually getting over him, so to help you ditch the denial stage, we’ve rounded up some clear signs that you’re still in love with your ex. Struggling to move on and sick of the sad breakup songs? Take a look at these hilarious GIFs to have a laugh and move forward! Read more on Tres Sugar…
If you’re planning a summer wedding, you may now be where I once was, just a few weeks before my nuptials: at the bar.
I was tired of making decisions. I was tired of caring about details. I was tired of answering questions. I was tired of worrying. Planning a big-ass event is hard. Planning one that’s supposed to be the Greatest Day Of Your Life Ever Or Else Your Existence As A Whole Is A Poorly Executed Sham And Everybody Knows It is especially hard, and you don’t have to have purchased stock in Wedding Industrial Complex, Inc. to be worried about it.
So I’m going to tell you a true thing that good people told me. Something I knew intellectually to be true, but something I found emotionally hard to wrap my mind around:
There are two kinds of people who seriously care about your wedding. One of those kinds of people is you and, ideally, the person you’re about to commit your forever life to. The other kind of person is an asshole. Keep reading »
“I’m quite emotional about it, of course. She could have stayed absolutely private about it and I don’t think anyone would have been none the wiser with such good results. But it was really important to her to share the story and that others would understand it doesn’t have to be a scary thing. In fact, it can be an empowering thing, and something that makes you stronger and us stronger. … [It has been] an emotional and beautifully inspiring few months. And I’ll tell you, it’s such a wonderful relief to come through this and not have a spectre hanging over our heads. To know that that’s not going to be something that’s going to affect us. My most proudest thing is our family. This isn’t going to get that.”"
––Tears! Angelina Jolie’s manpiece Brad Pitt, basically proving that in addition to being the sexiest man alive, he’s also kind of the best partner ever. [USA Today]
My boyfriend Nick and I recently made a new relationship rule: as soon as either of us feels any inkling of a bad mood coming on, we tell each other ASAP. Just a quick heads up, like, “Hey, I’m feeling a little irritable right now.” Announcing your bad mood before it causes a problem lets your partner know they shouldn’t take any crankiness personally, and forces you to be accountable for your own emotions. This is such a quick, easy thing to do, but it has worked wonders for our relationship. The success of the Bad Mood Rule inspired me to compile a list of other quick, easy tips that just might save your relationship. Read on for 10 more ideas from The Frisky ladies and me, and please feel free to add your own tips in the comments! Keep reading »
From the minute you get engaged to even several months into being a newlywed, you’re exposed to wedding traditions galore. Some you may be familiar with (very, if you’ve been in/to a lot of weddings) and others that may have slipped your mind completely (because you were distracted by other important matters of business like designing an acceptable seating chart or negotiating with vendors).
Case in point: When my fiance (whoops!) husband and I were on our way back from the airport after getting hitched earlier this month, one of my brilliant colleagues said I had to make him carry me over the threshold when we got home. So funny. I hadn’t even thought of that. And being the history geek that I am, I proceeded to Google it to find out where the seemingly sweet tradition came from. Let me tell you — I probably shouldn’t have.
Here, that and six other wedding traditions’surprising origins that may make you see them in a whole new light. Read more on The Stir…
When I was pregnant, everyone warned me not to judge myself against other women either positively or negatively. They told me not to compare myself to the Super Moms, the Momzillas or even the Deadbeat Moms. People warned me that once I was a mother there would be some things I would do effortlessly, and others I would fail dismally at.
Largely, I ignored their advice and trusted in my own self-worth and confidence. I was a little older than most of my mom friends and figured that with those extra years came extra wisdom. I instinctually understood that hanging out on online baby forums leads to intense paranoia about teething, and battling it out with anonymous strangers is stupid. I never thought I would succumb to the motherhood comparison game. But in the end, I was wrong. I did judge myself harshly. But it wasn’t against other moms. It was against my own husband. Keep reading »
My girlfriend and I met on eHarmony, so I’ll be the first to acknowledge that online dating can absolutely be a worthwhile experience. Still, it was far from a smooth journey. I dabbled with it for almost seven years, and prior to Melissa, the most memorable thing I came away with was a tome’s worth of craptacular dating stories. (Though, in that respect, I guess I do have eHarmony and Match to thank for my writing career.)
Armed with years of slow-churned cynicism, I took to the internet to see if others shared my experiences. What I uncovered were some harsh realities about online dating that no one ever talks about. After the jump, some things you might not have known… Keep reading »