Make It Stop is a new weekly column in which Anna Goldfarb — the blogger behind Shmitten Kitten and Shlooby Kitten — tells you what’s up. Want a fresh take on a stinky dilemma? Email email@example.com with the subject “Make It Stop.” She’ll make it all better, or at least make you laugh. Girl Scout’s honor.
First up, we have a woman whose coworkers use the office ladies’ room like their own personal telephone booth (yes, that’s our own Amelia above, gabbing away)… Keep reading »
The online dating scene is rough. Sure, it’s a great way to meet people, but we use the term “people” loosely, as some of the individuals we’ve come in contact with still seem to be in their primitive forms. Obviously, first impressions count … but not to these idiots.
Sender: 22, Male
Receiver: 22, Female
Site: Tinder Keep reading »
“I didn’t think you’d want to know.”
This was how my boyfriend of three years told me that he was leaving me for a different girl. A white girl.
As I watched him struggle with what to say, I remembered that I had seen them together around campus before, but had figured it was nothing; a harmless friendship that might be a little flirtatious, but not serious. Standing there on the sidewalk, I slowly began to understand that despite immersing myself in years of stolen glances, goodnight calls and sun-kissed smiles, it was all over. And even more shocking was the realization that he had always known it would have to end. Read more on Your Tango…
For the past 10 months or so that I’ve been sharing my love life with you as Dater X, my search for a soul mate has gone from a persistent, relentless hunt to a deeper understanding of myself and of what I’m looking for in a lifelong partner. It’s not always easy to hop on here week after week and divulge my successes, failures, pain and mishaps to a world of strangers, but I choose to do it because I want to. I like it. Writing about my experiences forces me to sit back, relive and reevaluate the situations I find myself in, which is a great form of cheap therapy if you ask me. But in addition to that, I’m able to ingest all of your comments about my dating life and look at my world from a different perspective. Many of you have been down this road before, others are traveling along with me. Sometimes your comments provide sound advice, but at the end of the day, it’s my journey. I have to follow my heart and go with my gut, knowing that you’re all only seeing one small, 800-word piece of a much larger puzzle. This is one of those times. Keep reading »
So here’s a thing that is making my eye twitch: There is a (fringe) group of people — mostly men — who believe that divorce is, basically, a feminist conspiracy meant not to empower women to live autonomous lives (y’know, the whole “pursuit of happiness” thing) but to allow women to destroy men’s lives.
This is largely a product of the Red Pill community. For the vast numbers of people who live in blessed ignorance of Red Pill, it’s a group of people (again, mostly men) who believe that they’ve “taken the red pill” (à la “The Matrix”) and embraced the painful reality that our society is increasingly being set up to disadvantage men. Not that this is an actual reality: They believe that “involuntary celibacy” exists, i.e. they are having celibacy forced on them; they are disadvantaged for being virgins; their entire identity is wrapped up in having or not having sex. They’re the notorious believers in pick-up artistry, a concept that posits that since all women are brainless automatons, there’s a magical formula of actions and behaviors you can adopt to manipulate women into sleeping with you. They’re so obsessed with false rape accusations that they practically never actually validate the fact that women in America are raped (and then, if she was, of course, she probably deserved it). They buy into the “alpha/beta” social theory (because humans are dogs!). They talk about women in terms of monetary value. They believe they are buying their “partners.”
And they hate divorce, because in the Red Pill community’s minds divorce is a system set up to allow women to vacuum money out of men’s bank accounts and steal children away from their fathers. They believe men should be able to divorce women for even spurious reasons, but women should be shamed for getting divorced (by the way, read all of these links at the risk of your sanity). Keep reading »
Chaotic and ever-changing as life is, it’s no wonder that we look to external factors to define who we are and how we’re doing. It’s easy to lose sight of how our success in life shows up in intangible stuff, like the way we treat people, how we handle tough stuff, and how much love we put into the world.
Here are some things that never define your self-worth and if they all changed tomorrow, you would still be you: Keep reading »