Being single is far superior to being tied down to some lovable douche who makes you ditch girls’ nights for private pizza parties. While you could argue that being Facebook official is useful for holiday parties, heavy lifting, and little spoon opportunities, boyfriends are really more trouble than they’re worth. In fact, you’d be better off investing in a puppy, instead. All of the cuddles, and 100% less of the pressure to feign interest in sports. The truth is, boyfriends would be incredibly useful if you could exchange them (along with your outfits) for different parties and seasons. In this beautiful imaginary world (where chocolate has no calories and Lilly Pulitzer is always free), every occasion would call for a new boy toy custom made for the event. Read More On College Candy…
Growing up is overrated.
You can delay it as much as you’d like, but eventually, you don’t have any choice but to give in. I never wanted to grow out of Limited Too clothing. Never. But one day, their size 16 dress fit me like a crop top and when I tried to browse the store, little girls smelling like strawberry Tootsie Rolls walked up to me and asked me to grab a shirt for them off the rack because they were still doll-sized and I was a giant. Read More On Huffington Post Women…
I’m 31 years old and I’ve never been in relationship, nor have I ever been in love. I look at couples — married, cohabiting, dating — and I’m so envious of their ability to open up and create something with another person. Sometimes I feel like I’m too broken to even be considered by the universe to find love. I’ve never suffered any emotional or mental trauma that would provoke these thoughts, but I wonder if it’s self-preservation. I feel as though I’ve put myself out there, but each time I’m unsuccessful. Any advice for someone feeling a little hopeless?
The bad news: your attitude need an adjustment. The good news: adjusting your attitude is free! Instead of telling yourself that you’re a failure, correct that narrative in your head and say that you just haven’t found the right person yet, which is totally okay and super normal. Keep reading »
When it comes to periods, guys sometimes need a little help. Since they don’t have vaginas, periods are like the Bermuda Triangle: mysterious, feared, and where good things go to die. But fear not, bros! The best thing you can do comes straight from the mouth of one of the world’s most cinematic legends, Scar from “The Lion King”— “Be prepared.” Here are some things you can expect the next time your girlfriend gets her monthly visit from Aunt Flo and how to act appropriately when these scenarios occur. Keep reading »
I was glad that my mom and I had exactly the same feelings on having “The Talk”: neither of us wanted to do it, and we were glad that it was over so quickly. I was 11-ish or 12-ish, and my mom casually asked, “We haven’t had The Talk yet, have we?” And I said, “I don’t need to, I know how it works. It’s on TV and in movies.” So she said, “OK, how does it work?” I made my left thumb and forefinger into a circle and jabbed my right index finger into the middle once or twice. My sister Sara laughed.
“That’s not really all we’re supposed to talk about,” my mom said. Keep reading »
A woman I’ll call The Chewer (it’ll make sense soon) and I first messaged each other shortly after things ended with The Teacher over a two months ago. We hit it off as she was about to relocate to my town, and had attended the same university. We decided to meet for drinks after she finally moved up and got settled in. Before we got to that point though, I started going out with a few other women and wanted to see where these potential relationships went. I messaged The Chewer and she thanked me for my honesty and I went about my way.
As it turned out, most of these dates were ho-hum and never amounted to much of anything. I did briefly hit it off with The Marathoner but that ended as quickly as it started. So, my schedule suddenly freed up, I decided to message The Chewer to see if she was still interested in getting a drink. She was so we planned to meet after work two weeks ago (shortly before I went out with The Lawyer). Keep reading »