Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dealbreaker: The Drunk Embarrassment

There are so many things involved in attraction. From clothing to chemistry, a never-ending list of items can be turn-offs. But sometimes differences are a turn-on, from magnets to men, you know what they say: opposites attract. Still, some things are so repellent, they’re dealbreakers.

Oh, the joy of making all your girlfriends swoon with jealousy by showing off your hot new man! After years of being the token single girl, I dreamed of the day when I would finally get to introduce them to a sexy boyfriend of my own. When I magically found myself dating a real package deal — a guy with a good job, even better looks, and a singing voice so sweet I was proud to call him “honey” — I couldn’t wait to bask in the bragging rights. So, I invited my friends to a country karaoke night at local dive bar. I just knew he’d knock a song, and my friends, out.
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First Time For Everything: Having A Baby

It was like out of a dirty dream: I was lying on my back on a stainless steel table completely naked when the door opened. Owen Wilson walked in with a large white sexy toy looking thing, wearing a lab coat. He looked so hot I could barely stand it. As he walked near me he started to talk…

“Hi Kate, my name is Dr. D.”

Oh that’s right. No, I am not lucky enough to be having a sexual role-play encounter with Owen Wilson. I am pregnant and seeing my OB/GYN (who happens to look and talk just like the You, Me, and Dupree star) for the first time. A girl can dream though right? Especially when the reality is as unexpected and bizarre as any nighttime mind wanderings.

Dr. D explained to me why he was holding what appeared to be a massive sex toy; it was an internal ultrasound machine, which would allow him…me…to see the baby. As my lady parts (the parts…the position, that got me in this situation in the first place!) were being poked and prodded, I began to contemplate how the hell I got here. Keep reading »

“It’s Not You, It’s Your Books…”

The New York Times‘ Book Review section had an interesting, Modern Love-esque column this weekend about how hard it can be dating someone whose taste in books you hate. Like the writer, Rachel Donadio, when I was single, I seriously considered it a dealbreaker if a guy I was interested in had a thing for Ayn Rand — I think she’s a terrible writer and a total fascist. The guy could be the nicest person in the world, but loving Atlas Shrugged definitely told me he had a secret heartless side. Likewise, it can be a real turn-on to share a love for the same books with another person — I was once convinced that a guy and I were soul mates because we both loved J.D. Salinger’s Franny and Zooey. But judgment of ones’ literary taste can go both ways — I certainly would be pissed off if a dude wrote me off just because I like reading V.C. Andrews and Sweet Valley High “novels” while I get a tan on my roof deck. So how important is it to you that you share the same interest in books with the person you’re dating? [NY Times] Keep reading »

YouTube Love: Chocolate Bunny Procreation

So this is what all the extra chocolate bunnies do after Easter. [YouTube: Milk Chocolate, A Love Story] Keep reading »

Feature: The Five Relationship Hurdles Faced When On Vacation

For many couples that’ve been going steady for a while, the first big relationship hurdle occurs when they go on vacation together. Chuck Thompson, author of the fantastically hilarious book Smile When You’re Lying, says that there are five very important breakthroughs that occur when taking a vacay together. “Traveling together is really practice for living together or even being married,” he says. “It’s the first time you’re going to be in each others constant company for, let’s say, a week straight. That is much different than seeing someone three times a week or even seeing them everyday for a few hours. It’s a real test of compatibility.” The five travel-induced hurdles that will make or break your relationship, after the jump. Keep reading »

Real Chick Lit: Judy McGuire’s Bad Date Hall Of Fame

Judy McGuire has been on a lot of bad dates. “How many grains of sand are there on a beach? How many stars in the sky? If I were ever to sit down and count, I’d never leave the house again,” she says. But going out with all those losers provided her with plenty of material for her book, How Not to Date. Plus, it taught her the most decent way to dump someone: “I’m not one of those people who thinks you always have to do it in person, because if I got all dressed up to go meet someone only to get dumped once I got there, I’d be pretty angry,” Judy says. “But if you’ve slept with the person, you either need to do it by phone or in person.” Judy shares her Bad Date Hall of Fame, culled from years of personal experience and hours spent listening to other daters’ horror stories.

The worst line I ever heard on a first (and last) date:
“I usually date women a lot younger than you.” (We were the same age.) He followed that up with the confession that he’d always been sexually attracted to his mother.

Second worst line I ever heard on a first (and last) date:
“HIV doesn’t cause AIDS, and condoms are bs. I’d never use them.”

Worst line I ever delivered:
“Um, no, you can’t kiss me—I have a cold sore. See?”

Second worst line I ever delivered:
“I know I’m kind of fat, but I’m on Weight Watchers and I’ve already lost seven pounds.”

Worst outfit ever worn by a date:
It involved dad jeans and eyeliner. Keep reading »

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