“I have been dating a wonderful man for a year now. We get along well, but there is a sore spot in our relationship: I don’t get along with his friends. I’ve never had a problem getting along with any of my ex-boyfriends friends before, so this is new territory for me. I’m a bubbly individual with silly/slapstick sense of humor, while his friends are more staid people with biting, sarcastic sense of humors. I often feel like they treat me as a ditz (which I am not—I own a business and just entered a Master’s program) and I do not feel comfortable with their negative nature (their sarcasm is often making fun of people/things). It came to a head this Thanksgiving when we went to his friends for dinner. I helped out in the kitchen, fawned over the food, and acted respectfully. After we left, my boyfriend told me he had wanted to stay, but said I ‘looked miserable’ and he didn’t want his friends to feel ‘uncomfortable.’ I’ll admit I didn’t eat much (I’m a vegetarian, there was only so much I could eat), and I was very quiet after dinner, but I always tend to be quiet around them because I never know what to say when they go on their antagonistic tirades about people or modern music. He loves his friends and we hang out with them often (he lives with one and the other lives very close), but obviously my polite, quiet approach is no longer working. What should I do?” — Friendless in Boy World

My boyfriend is 10 years older than me. We’re in love and it’s awesome. There are many, many perks to dating a dude who is older, some of which you can read here. But there’s one tiny downfall, at least for me. In his 40 years on earth, my devastatingly handsome boyfriend has had more than his share of girlfriends and has been in love a handful of times. This is probably totally normal and not a cause for, uh, concern for most 30-year-old women, who have likely had many relationships in their lives too. Unfortunately, I haven’t and his vast relationship experience makes me feel like I’m somehow not as special as I’d like to be.

Well, sort of. The director was at the center of an argument between my brother and I that started almost as soon as we sat down for Thanksgiving dinner.

[For reference: Polanski was apprehended by Swiss authorities, after he fled the United States in 1977 before he could be sentenced for having “unlawful sex with a minor,” a lesser charge than the original six, which Polanski pled guilty to. (He was originally charged with “rape by use of drugs, perversion, sodomy, lewd and lascivious act upon a child under 14, and furnishing a controlled substance to a minor.”) Polanski fled the country before sentencing upon learning that the judge was planning on giving him jail time, despite the recommendations of a probation report and psychiatric evaluation, which both indicated that Polanski should be released on time served. For the record, Polanski served only 42 days out of the initial 90 before being released and making a break for his native France.]

I just assumed my brother shared my opinion that Polanski should be locked in jail and the key thrown away. When he didn’t—and said that Polanski should be released because he wasn’t a serial predator, that the judge in the case was on a witch hunt, and that the 13-year-old girl whom Polanski had sex with had “consented” and “maybe even took the drugs on her own”—I basically lost my shizz. Was my own flesh and blood not only being a rape apologist but victim-blaming as well?

If your relationship ended over the long Thanksgiving weekend, you’re not alone. The Thanksgiving breakup is such a common phenomenon it even has a name: the turkey drop. Carly MacLeod, a junior at Washington University and the “romance columnist” at the student paper, tells NPR that turkey drops are often the result of long-distance college relationships reaching a boiling point during freshmen’s first real vacation home after leaving for school. She explains that after three months of living apart, making new friends, creating new lives, and stressing over upcoming finals, former high school sweethearts see each other again and realize they don’t want to be together anymore. “Go home, hook up and break up is pretty much the pattern,” MacLeod says.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Let your idealism run away with you and expect more than you imagined. The only way to get what you want in life is to aim high. If you keep short-changing yourself, thinking no one can give you that fantasy, then you might as well throw in the towel. But this week, things are going to change; though, you must set the target with a vision for all to come into your line of fire.

I am not the “other woman.” I am “another woman.” How do these two differ you ask? Well, if I were the other woman, the guy I’m “dating” would be in a committed, monogamous relationship with a woman and I’d be the one he was hiding and sneaking around with. But that is not the case at all. He is not in a committed relationship. He does not have a girlfriend. He just happens to be in a non-committal, non-monogamous relationship with me and another woman. The kicker is that I and the other woman know each other. She and I are not friends at all. We don’t travel in the same circles. Oddly enough, he is the one who introduced us to each other. Yes, I know what you are thinking right now. “What! This girl is crazy, off her rocker to be in this situation!” But please, before you judge let me explain how this situation came about. 

The first line of the Tolstoy classic Anna Karenina reads “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” – and the category your family falls into could make or break your Thanksgiving holiday. It’s often said that family gatherings bring out the worst in people, and every year, advice pours in on how to handle yours. Here’s a little bit of help this holiday season, whether you are happy or otherwise.

I was a horrible liar, and we both knew it, but I had no choice. There was no possible way I could tell him that when I reached into his coat pocket and took his hand—to this day the only bold, romantic gesture I have ever made—it was because I thought he wanted me to.

“You’re just doing that as a friend, right?” He asked, sheepishly.

“Yeah. It, uh, helps with balancing.”

Thanksgiving is a time to spend with family and friends. Sometimes this family event may have an unexpected guest: a cute, single guy. When such a treat comes your way, seize the moment in a feminine, ladylike fashion.

Seating. Right away, you will want to be seated next to this hottie; however, this is a bad idea. A major part of flirting is conversation and body language. Both of these are difficult to display if you’re sitting side by side. Try positioning yourself across from him for the best effect.

Introductions. If introductions have not been made before reaching the table, take this as an opportunity to place yourself on his radar. Before you take your seat, introduce yourself and offer him your hand to shake. When he shakes your hand, hold his gaze and smile. You should disengage from the handshake first so you don’t come on too strong (a girl who won’t let go is creepy). Glance down as you take your seat, then back up again at him with a slight smile on your lips and in your eyes.

In the classic scary flick “The Exorcist,” when young Regan McNeil’s mom wanted to banish the devil from inside her daughter, she had to call in the God Squad. The result was all sorts of profanity, a generous helping of projectile vomit, and several unpleasant deaths.

Once the devil was cast out, Regan and her mom moved to a new city; after all, who wants to live where the devil once did? Unfortunately, not all of us can afford a change of locale after a traumatic experience, like, say, a breakup. Short of jetting off to Bali and drowning your heartache in fruity cocktails, the quickest way to exorcise someone from your heart is by ridding yourself of all the bad juju—and debris—that a rough breakup can leave in its wake.

My boyfriend of two years has an addiction to porn. We’ve never watched together, and I actually just found out about it three months ago. He was viewing it on my computer and I confronted him about it. I had previously mentioned that porn is not something to ever be viewed on my computer (I have two young girls at home). He was actually replacing our sex life with satisfying his own needs. Things got better ... for awhile, but the last two weeks I’ve noticed it on the computer again. Different sites, but still tons of pics of naked girls. I finally confronted him, again. I’m hurt and confused, and seriously sick of living like a nun. This addiction stems from years of being alone. As much as I understand, what’s left for me to do? Can we make it better or is this a lost cause? — Getting Nun

On the night of my 10th anniversary of dating my girlfriend (yes, we are still not married) I had a dream that she killed a man on our weekend getaway. He touched her butt and she got angry and then stabbed him with scissors and pushed him in the river. I was questioned about the murder (I saw it from afar) and at first I started to lie, but then came clean and told the police everything.  She was carted off to jail, I gave her $1000 for attorney’s fees and then we were broken up.  I cried and then I was like, “Well I guess it is time to start new.” It got fuzzy after that but I think another witness came forward and testified that it was self-defense and she was going to get off. I’m not sure what happened next. Weird right? —Dating A Murderer

Reader Nikki’s boyfriend painted this for her! (Don’t worry, we won’t call the police on him.)

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com.

A year ago my best friend “Erin” fell MAJORLY in love over a long distance relationship with someone in Europe and this summer she moved there to be with her girlfriend. The girlfriend is still in school in another country, though, so Erin lives in her girlfriend’s hometown and they’ve only seen each other on vacations. I’m happy Erin is happy, of course, but the stuff she tells me about how her girlfriend, whom I’ve never met, for the record, treats her frightens me. She’s apparently pretty jealous and gets upset when Erin hangs out with other lesbians. She also has access to Erin’s Facebook page and email account, which means she can read all her messages. I told Erin it sounds controlling, especially since I send her emails about stuff in my personal life that I don’t necessarily want her girlfriend to read. Erin got really defensive and insists the email-reading doesn’t bother her because she has nothing to hide. I said it bothered me, though, because she shouldn’t have someone snooping through her private emails. Erin got frustrated at me, said she’s got “bigger things to worry about,” and completely changed the subject. I’m worried because Erin moved to Europe to be closer to her girlfriend and now she’s a little bit isolated from her friends and family. If this girlfriend continues to do these weirdly controlling things, I’m afraid we’re not going to know or be able to do anything about it. What more can I do? What more can I say? — Hates Snooping

When my mom was in town this past weekend, we went to the mall. Not just to go to the Gap, which she had a 40 percent off coupon for (the woman always has a coupon for either the Gap, Banana Republic, or Bed Bath & Beyond), but to go to the bookstore to look for bridal magazines. Before I was engaged, I had to stop myself from buying one of those magazines. I wouldn’t even pick one up, for fear of jinxing myself and never getting married. As someone who is OCD, I’m surprised I didn’t back up four steps and do a circle after looking at them.