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Love & Relationships Advice - Served Up Hot

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Is Addicted To Porn”

My boyfriend of two years has an addiction to porn. We’ve never watched together, and I actually just found out about it three months ago. He was viewing it on my computer and I confronted him about it. I had previously mentioned that porn is not something to ever be viewed on my computer (I have two young girls at home). He was actually replacing our sex life with satisfying his own needs. Things got better ... for awhile, but the last two weeks I’ve noticed it on the computer again. Different sites, but still tons of pics of naked girls. I finally confronted him, again. I’m hurt and confused, and seriously sick of living like a nun. This addiction stems from years of being alone. As much as I understand, what’s left for me to do? Can we make it better or is this a lost cause? — Getting Nun

Tags: love advice, porn, dear wendy, sex addiction

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Decode My Dream: My Girlfriend Is On Trial For Murder!

Dream Analysis Column

On the night of my 10th anniversary of dating my girlfriend (yes, we are still not married) I had a dream that she killed a man on our weekend getaway. He touched her butt and she got angry and then stabbed him with scissors and pushed him in the river. I was questioned about the murder (I saw it from afar) and at first I started to lie, but then came clean and told the police everything.  She was carted off to jail, I gave her $1000 for attorney’s fees and then we were broken up.  I cried and then I was like, “Well I guess it is time to start new.” It got fuzzy after that but I think another witness came forward and testified that it was self-defense and she was going to get off. I’m not sure what happened next. Weird right? —Dating A Murderer

Tags: decode my dream, dreams, dream analysis

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Love Vandal: You Sound Good To Him

love graffiti

Reader Nikki’s boyfriend painted this for her! (Don’t worry, we won’t call the police on him.)

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com.

Tags: love advice, love vandal, graffiti

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Dear Wendy: “My BFF Is In A Controlling Relationship”

Dear Wendy Advice Column

A year ago my best friend “Erin” fell MAJORLY in love over a long distance relationship with someone in Europe and this summer she moved there to be with her girlfriend. The girlfriend is still in school in another country, though, so Erin lives in her girlfriend’s hometown and they’ve only seen each other on vacations. I’m happy Erin is happy, of course, but the stuff she tells me about how her girlfriend, whom I’ve never met, for the record, treats her frightens me. She’s apparently pretty jealous and gets upset when Erin hangs out with other lesbians. She also has access to Erin’s Facebook page and email account, which means she can read all her messages. I told Erin it sounds controlling, especially since I send her emails about stuff in my personal life that I don’t necessarily want her girlfriend to read. Erin got really defensive and insists the email-reading doesn’t bother her because she has nothing to hide. I said it bothered me, though, because she shouldn’t have someone snooping through her private emails. Erin got frustrated at me, said she’s got “bigger things to worry about,” and completely changed the subject. I’m worried because Erin moved to Europe to be closer to her girlfriend and now she’s a little bit isolated from her friends and family. If this girlfriend continues to do these weirdly controlling things, I’m afraid we’re not going to know or be able to do anything about it. What more can I do? What more can I say? — Hates Snooping

Tags: love advice, friendship, dear wendy

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Woman Getting Married: Wedding Porn

Bridal Magazines Are Terrible

When my mom was in town this past weekend, we went to the mall. Not just to go to the Gap, which she had a 40 percent off coupon for (the woman always has a coupon for either the Gap, Banana Republic, or Bed Bath & Beyond), but to go to the bookstore to look for bridal magazines. Before I was engaged, I had to stop myself from buying one of those magazines. I wouldn’t even pick one up, for fear of jinxing myself and never getting married. As someone who is OCD, I’m surprised I didn’t back up four steps and do a circle after looking at them.

Tags: weddings, getting married, woman getting married, bridal magazines

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How Do You Expect Your Family And Friends To Treat Your Ex?

How Do You Expect Your Family And Friends To Treat Your Ex?

When you break up with someone, how do you expect the people in your life to treat your ex? This Sunday’s “Modern Love” column in The New York Times explored that topic in an essay by Charles Antin. Antin had an amicable, cold-turkey breakup with his girlfriend of five years, and then found himself morosely following her life in the aftermath via Facebook. When his “technophile” grandfather joined the social networking site and befriended his ex—because of their shared love of Frangelico, it seems—Antin was angry. The column ends with a bit of a whimper—Antin confronted his grandfather, who ended up quitting Facebook entirely—but it got me thinking about how we expect our family members and friends to treat our exes, and how we expect their family and friends to treat us, whether the breakup was amicable or not.

Tags: breaking up, friendship, facebook, family, etiquette

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Where Are You Spending Thanksgiving This Year?

Where Are You Spending Thanksgiving This Year?

This is my first holiday season as an old married and my husband and I are planning to spend Thanksgiving at his father’s place where his brother and his wife and two small kids will join us. My father-in-law lives here in Manhattan, just a mile up the road from us, so, luckily, we won’t have to do any commuting. Our Christmas trip will be decidedly more involved. We’ll be visiting my parents who live in Germany (it’ll be my husband’s first trip there!). In the last 20 years, I’ve spent every Christmas but one in Germany. I figured this year, since we’re newlyweds and still ingratiating ourselves in each other’s families, it was important to spend the holidays with our respective parents. Next year, though, I hope to begin some traditions of our own. I’d love to spend Christmas in New York finally. Maybe my Jewish husband and I can even enjoy some Chinese food for dinner. So, how about you? Where will you spend the holidays this year? And, if you’re in a relationship, how do you decide whose family to visit?

Tags: holidays, thanksgiving

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Ask The Astrosexologist: My Long-Distance Taurus Man Has Gone MIA

Astrological Advice For People In Troubled Relationships

“I am a Libra woman (9/26/82) who began dating a Taurus man (4/22/83) from another country in August. From the first day he voiced his feelings for me and even stated on our third date that he wanted to be with me long-term i.e. marriage, kids, etc. I have never been told anything like this before and I was flattered, but also way cautious due to my last horrible relationship with a Taurus man.”

Tags: love advice, ask the astrosexologist, astrology, kiki t

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Poll: Have You Ever Lusted After A Friend’s Significant Other?

iStockphoto Over at the Daily Mail, advice columnist Rowan Pelling has a letter from a woman who finds that she is only attracted to her friends' significant others and has absolutely no interest in men who are actually available and interested in her. Pelling says this is all because the chick has terrible self-esteem, but I'm far more interested in whether any of you have lusted after a friend's mate. My taken friends are all involved with great dudes, some of whom I find genuinely handsome, but I wouldn't say I'm currently lusting after any of them. But what about you?
Have you ever lusted after a friend's significant other?

Tags: friendship, cheating, polls, infidelity, jealousy

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Girl Talk: My Mother, The Cougar

My Mom Is A Cougar

As a free-spirited 26-year-old, I support a wide range of lifestyles. But I’m just not into sharing the same dating pool with my mom—a fit, fun-loving, blonde bombshell of a 50-year-old. After all, the term “cougar” is only funny if your mother isn’t one.

A glamour girl in suburban Baltimore, my mom was bound for the ranks of “heartbreakers of a certain age” long before her marriage to my father—a great dad but an admittedly crappy husband—crumbled a few years ago. The object of many younger boys’ affections, she had the lifeguards at our pool drooling and my lacrosse player friends deeming her a “M.I.L.F.” By the time I got to college, I wasn’t fazed by the frat boys who swarmed around her during parents’ weekend. They would take turns spinning me and Mom around on the beer-soaked dance floor, until I told her it was time to go home.

Tags: dating, cougars, mothers

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FriskyScopes With Kiki T
For The Week Of November 23-29, 2009

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
You have nothing to lose when it comes to playing the game of love. No matter how crazy you want to be, as long as you set the pace in the way you want, you will get that someone to follow. However, be fair when setting the speed, because as it goes, some people do need to build up their momentum to be able to keep up with you.

CONTINUE READING>>

Tags: friskyscopes, astrology, kiki t, horoscopes

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4 Tips For A Holiday Fling

Holiday Kiss

The holidays are right around the corner, and if egg nog, stuffing and Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” do mysterious things to your libido—fear not. We suffer from the Holiday Friskies, too. We feel your sexually frustrated pain. Whether your parents’ guest bedroom has you aching for another’s or a holiday getaway is in order, there’s nothing like a few guilt-free days off to initiate a bold try with what’s-his-name from high school or that-one-over-there at the resort bar (if you’re fancy). Regardless, the holidays are a perfect time for a no-strings-attached fling. Here are a few ways to make it run exceptionally smooth.

Tags: dating, your tango, holidays

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Love Vandal: Hope In New Orleans

love graffiti

Reader Sarah snapped this photo on a recent trip to Louisiana. “I saw this on one of many (still) abandoned houses on a recent trip to New Orleans,” she wrote us. “It’s a bit hard to make out, but it reads, ‘Even the wounded heart can soar.’ The orange line is part of a mark left by the search and rescue team that entered the house following Hurricane Katrina.”

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com.

Tags: love advice, love vandal, graffiti

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Five People You Should Never Date

Hot Man

You should have known better. Or maybe you did; you just didn’t care. You’d heard the horror stories and the admonitions: “Don’t date a/you r… ” But some things are easier said than done, and forbidden fruit tastes so much sweeter.

Tags: dating, dating donts, divine caroline

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When Snooping Gets Out Of Control

Woman Spying

He’s done it before: left me alone in his apartment. But I haven’t done this—until now. It’s not as if these boxes haven’t always been filled with photographs; it’s not as if these leather notebooks weren’t always filled with his handwriting; it’s not as if the evidence hasn’t been lying around, out in the open, just begging for a little attention. But today the itch to explore is a little too itchy, and I guess our love is a little too, uh, lovely—so I’m not even waiting for him to leave.

Tags: dating, your tango, spying

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