“I keep having the same sex dream over and over again. I recently started a new job and while I’m a happily married swinger; I find myself wanting sex with one of the heads at my company. I’ve had the same dream for the last two weeks and now find that I can’t look him in the eye. They always take place in his office and I have to say that I have never actually been in it; just walked by a few times and yes, have definitely thought about having sex on his desk. Well, in my dream—we do! Over and over again and in every position imaginable. He knows who I am by face in real life, but I don’t think he knows my name. I don’t mind having the dreams, except when I wake up in the morning I find my panties wet and my husband telling me that I was moaning all night and he hopes it was about him. What does this mean? Any chance the object of my dreams’ affection is feeling/dreaming the same as I am? Please help!” —Working Girl

Has your life gone haywire in the last week? Communications amiss? People from the past randomly showing up? Feel like you might be losing your mind, as no one you know seems to make any sense to you any more? Fret not, it’s not you: It’s the universe! Yes, blame the cosmos, as Mercury, the planet of communication, halts and appears to go backwards, causing all sorts of chaos on mankind.

Frightfully, this bizarre phenomenon happens three times a year and, fortunately, this will be the last time in ’09. It officially began at 2:39 pm UT (Universal Time) on Saturday, Dec. 26 and lasts until Jan. 15, though the effects can be felt up until Feb. 4. What does this mean? In general, it means a period of pandemonium for all things regarding communication. That’s right, forget trying to make any major decisions — and definitely don’t sign any contracts (unless the deal comes from someone in the past or it is renewing), back up your software, expect problems with travel and don’t rely on any of the information you get at this time.

I have a great new girlfriend who is funny, positive, cute and very sexy. I am so happy with her and I wouldn’t want her to change. But there is one issue: she happens to be a black belt martial arts expert and works part time as an instructor in that area. So basically, even though you could never tell from looking at her, that beautiful 5’7’’ female body of hers is actually, for all intents and purposes, a lethal weapon. It’s absolutely great that she knows how to defend herself, but it makes me wonder a bit what she thinks about me. I mean, the guy is supposed to be able to protect his girl and this makes me feel a little insecure and inadequate. Is there a risk she thinks less of me because I can’t give her that? I also — and I guess this is a stupid male ego thing — think it’s a little embarrassing that my 5’7’’ 130 lbs girlfriend could easily kick my ass any time she wanted. I am 6’, rather strong, 185 lb guy, but I have absolutely no fighting experience, so of course I’d be toast if I was stupid enough to fight my girlfriend (I never would of course, but just knowing that I wouldn’t stand a chance against her almost makes me blush). Basically the guy is supposed to be the stronger sex in a relationship, but, because of her martial arts, in our case it’s the other way around. Could this be a problem for us? — Lover, Not A Fighter

Reader Patrick sent us this universal truth from the laneways of Melbourne, Australia.

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com.

We’re back again for another edition of GuySpeak/GirlSpeak, where we take a close look at the advice given by guys to girls over at GuySpeak, throw in our own two vagina-possessing cents, and then have you weigh in. This week’s scintillating question: Can you turn a booty call into a boyfriend?

This guy uses me as a booty call, but I really like him, so whenever he calls I go meet him. Should I play hard to get and stop answering his calls? He always avoids my questions about a relationship.

Read on for our guy vs. girl advice ...

Over the last year, I have spent a lot of time—both in my free time and on this site—thinking and venting about the mistakes I made and the lessons I learned from the breakup of my five-year relationship with my ex. Lots of “I’ll nevers” have come out of my mouth and onto the keyboard. I’ll never date a professional bulls**tter again! I’ll never try to heal an emotional cripple! I’ll never ignore my gut instinct again! Good lessons, for sure. But honestly, all this “never” talk makes it easy to forget that I—hell, we—did a lot of things right in that relationship too: habits, feelings, and actions that I will always want to be a part of my romantic relationships going forward. Here are 15.

Christmas Day I woke up in an unfamiliar bed with a pounding headache. The hell? Where the eff am I? Then it all came rushing back: glass after glass of champagne at a boat cabaret on the Canal de la Villette singing along to Judy Garland songs. Most random Christmas Eve ever.

I snorted out loud—well, this would have to be the first time I woke up in a stranger’s bed and didn’t do something I regretted.

I closed my eyes again, trying to re-piece the evening. Where did it all start? Oh right, new friend Emily had invited me to this concert, and we’d had dinner at her apartment beforehand where we commenced with a bottle of champagne and a delicious squash/spinach/pasta dish she’d made. Then off to the boat where we were treated to free booze because her friends were the ones who put on the act.

At the end, it had been like an awkward but good third date ...

Sometimes the advice for people who email me is so obvious I wonder if they just need to hear someone else say it to truly believe it themselves. Today’s column is dedicated to those individuals.

I have been talking to/dating this girl for a little over a year. We both agreed not to be exclusive, which was fine at the time. Now, a year later, I am ready for more. I told her that I am open to becoming more and her response was what I expected. She was not sure what she wanted. Over the last few weeks, she has made it clear that she is not saying no but that she is confused. Making comments such as “My friends think you’re great and that I am stupid, and I agree with them.” I understand she is scared of the commitment and I have no problem being patient, as I have told her. My question today is how long should I wait? I do not want to walk away from something I feel could be great. I know she wants to but is scared to make the “jump.”  At the same time, I don’t want to put my heart on the chopping block. — Running out of Patience

Recently, my boyfriend expressed some fear that we had moved too fast. While it’s only been four months, it feels like way more. Not quite a lifetime, but certainly a few years. We had clicked almost instantly, and while I was less than a year out of a nearly five-year relationship and he was, um, not quite divorced (a whole other topic), it seemed too good to pass up. I felt ready to be totally vulnerable and open to someone new, no matter where that might lead me. It has been (mostly) awesome.

This past week I met a guy while out of town for a cousin’s wedding. After hanging out together and talking over the course of the week, we finally hooked up the morning before I went home. During our post-hookup cuddle he tells me that I was the first black woman he’s ever been with (he was white) completely without provocation. The thing is, this is not the first time this has happened to me. In fact, it seems to be a recurring pattern in both dating and casual scenarios alike. And it isn’t just white guys that are guilty. I have had other races (except black men) also randomly confess this to me. This has left me with two questions: 1) Are these men really just thinking “OMG I’m talking to a black chick” while I thought we were getting to know each other as individuals? And 2) why do they feel the need to tell me this, almost always after sexual intimacy? I am biracial and my partner’s race has never made a difference, nor does it even cross my mind when I date a man of a different race, let alone bear such a burden that I feel the need to tell them about it. So what gives? I’m starting to feel like men only see me for my novelty factor. — Colorblind

The other night my girlfriend and I were lying in bed and she said, “You know, sometimes I forget you’re gay. I mean, you just look so straight.”

“Crap,” I thought, “her too.” Then I rolled over so my back was to her and attempted to compose myself, to figure out how to explain, for the millionth time, that I have thought this over enough times to be fairly certain that I’m into women.

With just four days left in this decade, many of us are looking ahead to the new year and thinking about goals and resolutions we can make to improve our lives in 2010. The Daily Mail has gone one step further and consulted “expert life coaches” for strategies to help us live happier, more fulfilling lives in the new year. If finding love is on your lift list for 2010, keep reading for some of the best expert tips for achieving that goal, after the jump.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
You better know what you want going into this week, because you are set to start a crazy emotional roller coaster ride that will pit circumstance against sentiment, and life as you know it will get super dramatic. The only thing you should know is to trust your gut. Where you will be this week won’t be too foreign, as you’ve always known on some level this existed.
CONTINUE READING>>

No matter what stage your breakup is in, a good song helps. Whether you’re swollen from crying or red with rage, it’s comforting to know that someone else has felt the same anger, regret and pain that you’re feeling. Here are some of 2009’s best songs for drowning (out) your sorrows.

Reader Kate sent us this chalkboard-esque graffiti.

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com.