• Relationships

Mommie Dearest: My Son’s Long Hair Gets Him Mistaken For A Girl

MD-long-hair

My seven-year-old son has hair that many people would kill …  or at least pay an arm and a leg at the salon for: honey blonde with natural ombre highlights, ringlets that cascade down, skimming right above his shoulders. [I have seen photos of Avital's son and his hair is indeed glorious. -- Amelia]

To top it all off, he loves his curls. When he was younger I would trim them just a bit so that he could see (AKA shaggy dog syndrome). But as he grew older, he let it be known that he was super into his curls and refused to cut them. And to be honest? I was kind of thrilled. I loved his hair just as much as he did, and was happy that he wanted to keep it long. We only have a few simple rules if he wants to keep his hair long: It has to be up in a ponytail during hot/humid weather to avoid heat rash, it has to stay out of his eyes (which he accomplishes with various cloth headbands/sweatbands), and it has to be — relatively — knot free.

So, my rough and tumble, soccer playing, LEGO-obsessed, drum-playing seven-year-old still rocks his long curls. And for some reason, it completely throws everyone else off balance. At least once a day, ever since his hair started growing in earnest, my son gets mistaken for a girl without fail. As you can imagine, this causes a lot of feels. Keep reading »

Dater X: Height Or Flight? On Ditching My Dating Dealbreaker

Dater X: Height Or Flight? On Ditching My Dating Dealbreaker

When it comes to dating, I have a lot of preferences. I’d prefer to end up with someone who shares my religion, my political views and my musical interests. I’d prefer to find a man who has a college education, a job he enjoys and tight-knit family. But those are preferences— not dealbreakers. If I happen to find someone who’s a perfect match for me, but he’s not Catholic and he hates country music, so be it. I would be with him despite our differences. But when it comes to physical “preferences,” I’ve always been a bit pickier.

While I never considered them “dealbreakers,” my hesitation (and usually refusal) go out with someone who’s under 5’10, overweight or has a receding hairline, is, despite my denial, dealbreaker status. So this weekend, I checked those dealbreakers at the door and went on a date with my OKCupid run-in, Andrew, who I can now confirm stands barely two inches taller than me at  5’9″. Keep reading »

It’s Time To Cry: This Couple Of 70 Years Passed Away Within 15 Hours Of Each Other

It's Time To Cry: This Couple Of 70 Years Passed Away Within 15 Hours Of Each Other

After 70 years of marriage, an Ohio couple passed away within 15 hours of one another other this weekend, at the ages of 91 and 92. Helen and Kenneth Felumlee, who had eight children and many more grandkids, were introduced as teenagers by Kenneth’s ex-girlfriend, who was a friend of Helen’s. After three years of dating, they eloped in 1944 with barely enough money in their pockets to pay the $2 courthouse fee. For weeks afterward, they lived in separate homes because they were so nervous about telling their parents that they’d married. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Is Chivalry Dead? Maybe It Should Be

Dating Don'ts: Is Chivalry Dead? Maybe It Should Be
I Like Chivalry
On Jessica's newfound respect for men who behave chivalrously. Read More »

I’ve never been one for chivalry. I prefer to do things my way, and take pride in my own ability to lift things that are heavy, open doors on my own and find my coat in a sea of bodies and sad down jackets at a crowded bar. I’ve been with men who are completely unchivalrous, men who I’ve had to kick in the shins to lift a finger to help me carry an air conditioner up the stairs, and I’ve been with men who have fallen over themselves to get the door for me, even though I was already in the process of opening it. There’s a finesse to the art, a way of doing things that falls in between a fawning obsequiousness and a genuine gesture, bred of genteel manners and a different way of living.

There’s a fine line between chivalry and common courtesy. Holding a door open for someone who’s hands are full is good home training. Giving your seat up for a pregnant woman on the bus is good home training. Helping me into my coat at a restaurant is unnecessary, awkward and assumes that deep down, you are unconfident in my ability to put on my own outerwear when the fact of the matter is I have been dressing myself for longer than we’ve been acquainted. I understand that this is a gesture of kindness, but I view it as a harbinger of times past — and quite frankly, the past is where it should stay. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: On The “Confidence Gap” & Women Undermining Other Women

The Soapbox: On The "Confidence Gap" & Women Undermining Other Women

Last week, ABC News reporter Claire Shipman and BBC World News American anchor Katty Kay published an essay in The Atlantic called “The Confidence Gap” about the divide in confidence between men and women. The piece is promoting their new book, The Confidence Code: The Science And Art Of Self-Assurance — What Women Should Know. The basic gist is that although women have proven themselves just as competent as men in higher education and in the workplace, we struggle with confidence in our abilities (even while men who lack those abilities are assuredly overconfident).

Predictably, these statements have set off a flurry of response pieces. On Al-Jazeera, Alice Driver criticized the book for setting the male status quo as the standard for women (as did Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In). Amanda Hess took a similar tack over at Slate’s Double X blog. Over at Jezebel, Tracy Moore argued there there’s no confidence crisis at all: “It’s just sexism.” Keep reading »

15 Quotes That Sum Up Every Thought You Have On Mondays

every-monday

Today is Monday and while I’m not sure where you are in the world, in New York City it is bright and sunny. We’re finally settling into Spring and after a traumatizing polar vortex winter, the weather is getting warmer and thus more distracting. For students the promise of summer is lingering just barely out of reach and for us employees the premise of leaving work and still having daylight is intoxicating. Getting down to business or the usual grind on Monday gets harder and harder as temperatures rise. The need to get out and move your body can be a distraction from what’s at hand. After a holiday weekend of indulgence and community, today it’s even more difficult than usual to get into the swing of things. Read the 15 thoughts we tell ourselves on a beautiful Monday morning on College Candy…

It’s Time To Cry: Things Moms Want Their Daughters To Know

it's time to cry
advice from moms
Listen While Your Mother Is Talking To You

Mother’s Day is still three weeks away, but the Internet is already getting started with weepy videos about our moms. And Buzzfeed’s video, “Things Moms Want Their Daughters To Know,” is up there on the weep-ster scale. From body confidence, fear of failure, and filling your life with love, the tips these mothers and soon-to-be-mothers will prick your eyes with daughterly tears. If only my own mother had participated, she could have taught everyone how to remember the proper way to set a table! (Fork on the left because both words have four letters, knife and spoon on the right because all the words have five letters. Huzzah!) [YouTube]

Life After Dating: Bitter, Party Of One

Life After Dating: Bitter, Party Of One

A few years ago, I had a Big, Terrible Breakup. I’d been living with a guy, whom I loved, wanted to marry and raise kids with. He wanted those things, too, until he didn’t. I hadn’t seen the split coming and felt completely gobsmacked.

I turned around, reactivated my OKCupid profile, and began dating immediately. That turned out to not be such a good idea. I thought I needed to distract myself (and considering I had moved back in with my parents, part of me did need to distract myself) but what I really needed was to heal. Alas, even though I was not ready to date yet in the grander scheme of things, dipping my toe back in the waters showed me there were lots other guys out there. It took me a couple months to admit that there could be someone out there better for me than Ex-Mr. Jessica. But my acceptance wasn’t necessarily due to anything particularly convincing he said while we were breaking up; it came from meeting other guys online who, in integral ways, seemed like they’d be a better fit.

That’s not to say that I limped off my injury gracefully. Not much at all, in fact. I passed many, many months during 2011 mired in bitterness — hurt, resentful, and very angry. Keep reading »

Your Friskyscopes For The Week Of April 21-27, 2014

Taurus (April 20-May 20): The stars are shifting, putting the power in your hands to do, say, think and feel better than anyone who tries to tell you what to do. Yes, a sense of success will be lighting up your life and inspiring you to go deeper into yourself, to give more to those you love and the world around you. Who knows, you might feel so divine, you’ll spontaneously break into a song and dance!

Best Day To Get Lucky: Monday, April 21 Keep reading »

Do You Live In Cheatersville? Study Says…

this or that poll cheating

A cheating heat map is a strange kind of bedfellow, monitoring the bones of baring it all. What ignites a desire to expose the law of averages when it comes to cheating? Does knowing where the ‘unfaithful’ gather give us a moral compass of who is who? Are we supposed to believe that getting bored with your partner is a sport only the rich can afford? Read more on Your Tango…

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