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Love & Relationships Advice - Served Up Hot

Girl On Girl: Why Gay Marriage Matters To Me

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I am currently seeing this really great girl. She’s smart, sweet and really fun to be around. We agree on a lot of things. We both hate the death penalty, love pizza and enjoy hanging out—sometimes illegally—on rooftops overlooking New York City. There is one thing, however, that we just can’t see eye-to-eye on. It’s not, as you would think, what to do on Saturday or where to have dinner or which baseball team is the best. Surprisingly, the issue that we butt heads on the hardest is gay marriage.

Tags: lesbians, gay, gay marriage, girl on girl

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Dear Wendy: Opening The Door To Love

Dear Wendy Advice Column

I’ll start this off by saying that at 22, I recently decided that I need a new perspective on my life and I’m moving to China in February. So, of course, now that I’ve decided I’m leaving the States I’ve met two really fun guys. I have told them about my plans to move and I’ve been seeing both of them non-exclusively for the past three months or so. The first one — I’ll call him Devin — I’d never consider marrying, and is a no-strings-attached FWB kind of situation at most (he has acknowledged this as well). If I can, I’d like to keep him around for the thrill of it. The second guy in question, Andrew, is definitely the marrying kind. We go hiking on the weekends and talk for hours on end every day. This is the kind of guy I could see myself with for an extended period of time and recently he has been hinting at a relationship. I would be head-over-heels if it was not for the fact that I know I’m leaving soon and a Beijing-New York long distance relationship doesn’t sound all that feasible to me, especially when I’m going to be gone for anywhere from six months to four years. What I can’t decide is if it’s really worth pursuing a relationship with Andrew or if I should break if off now before I run off to China and before one or both of us gets hurt and just go about having fun with Devin for now? It seems cruel to start up with Andrew when I know that there will be an expiration date. Or am I getting way too ahead of myself? It has only been three months after all. Thanks! — China Bound

Tags: love advice, dear wendy

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Confessions Of A Former Ball Buster

Confessions Of A Former Ball Buster

I am what you might call a “ball buster.” My ex-fiance’s dad always used to laugh when I would tease his son, taking him down a notch or two when he was being cocky or arrogant. He would say, “Man, you really know how to take his knees out!” His wife was similar in her approach, probably because her husband and my fiance—father and son—were temperamentally alike and could take (in fact, needed) the occasional—OK, frequent—ribbing.

Tags: relationship issues, ball busting

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Pointless Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend

Pointless Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend

BuzzFeed today has a link to a list called “Fun Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend,” or, as Peggy Wang from BuzzFeed describes it: “Fun for the kind of couples who like to tie each other up and waterboard torture each other as foreplay.” I’m guessing the original list was intended for young teens or couples who both suffer from brain damage or who never even developed the social skills of a Hummer. “Do not be intimidated about the men’s presence,” the list’s author advises. “You have to ask such questions to know more about your date or your boyfriend. Asking never hurt. Knowing the truth about them helps; so we ask. These questions indirectly can help us knowing every detail we need to know about men.” After the jump, a few of the more choice questions of the list and how I imagine Tom Cruise may have answered if Katie Holmes had asked him any of these when they were “getting to know each other.”

Tags: list, silly questions

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How To Deal With Your Man After Your Team Won (Or Lost) The World Series

How To Deal With Your Man After The World Series

So, the World Series is over. The Yankees are World Champions of Baseball. Again. For some, this is a time of rejoicing when every happy day is Christmas and the streets overflow with beer. For others, it is a long and tearful road to next year. Then, there’s everyone else—the baseball widows ...

Tags: love advice, world series, phillies, yankees

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Things That Will Get An Ex To Take You Back (And Some Things That Really Won’t)

couple hugging

Earlier this week, we asked you What Would Get You To Take Your Ex Back. From a look at the results of the poll, not much. 43 percent of you said that there’s nothing he could do to get you to change your mind, and that getting involved again would mean “giving up when I just need to move on.” The unfortunate truth is that you can’t make someone love you.

But! There is a but ... what if you still both love each other (either consciously or subconsciously), yet you’ve gone your separate ways? Maybe you never moved on from the feelings you have because no one else compared, or you both weren’t at places in your lives to make things work. In that case, there’s potential to re-ignite the relationship. Of course, you have to prepare for the probable possibility that your Ex isn’t interested. There’s no middle ground when it comes to re-wooing: either it works, or you have to look at it as an opportunity to finally move on. The not knowing still driving you crazy? Here, we looked at what you said, put in our own two cents, and came up with some tips to give it a go, both for guys and girls.

Tags: ex boyfriends, romantic gestures, getting back with an ex

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Dear Wendy: “I Found A Pic Of A Penis On My Boyfriend’s Phone”

I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years now. He is 24 years older than me and naturally we have our up days and down days. On Saturday night while he was asleep I went onto his cell phone and found a picture of another man’s penis on his phone. I am not allowed on his phone without asking him first and didn’t know how to confront him about this pic. So on Sunday morning I asked him if I could resend an SMS to my phone and ‘mistakingly’ went into his pics. But before I could see it he deleted it. I asked him what it was and he said a car. I told him he was lying and I know what I saw, he just said “why would I have a pic of another man’s penis on my cell?” Now I’m totally confused and worried at the same time. What do I make of this and how do I handle the situation? By the way, I sent a copy of that pic to my phone as evidence. — Worried Snoop

Tags: love advice, dear wendy

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Dating Don’ts: How To Deal With Coworker Romance-Gone-Wrong Drama

How To Deal With Coworker Romance-Gone-Wrong Drama

I guess I’ve been lucky in my romantic dealings with coworkers; one turned into a long-term relationship that outlasted the job and the other two were just pleasant dalliances that fizzled out naturally. Which is probably why I’ve always rolled my eyes when I hear so-called experts yammer on about how you should avoid dating people you work with at all costs. I mean, sure, stay away from the boss or anyone who reports to you, but if you’re both on equal footing, who cares?

Tags: dating donts, dating, love advice, judy mcguire, office romance, workplace romance

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Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend’s Getting Fat”

Dear Wendy Advice Column

I’ll start off by saying that I am madly in love with my boyfriend. He is supportive, intelligent, has a great sense of humor ... this list goes on and on. There is only one issue that has become increasingly difficult to deal with: he is rapidly gaining weight. It isn’t an uncontrollable amount — I’d say he’s become 40 pounds overweight at this point — I’m just afraid that I’m slowly becoming less and less attracted to him because of the weight issue. He has sparingly expressed interest in working out and losing weight, so it’s not as if he doesn’t notice or care. I have dropped “hints” by discussing interest in my own health (I eat healthy and maintain a healthy weight), but I have said nothing direct to him about it because I realize it’s a very touchy subject. It seems so socially wrong to bring up weight as an “issue”, especially when everything else is so great. We live together and I feel a proposal coming soon. There is no way that I would break up with him at this point simply because of his weight, I just feel like I should nip this thing sooner rather than later to save the attraction. Is there any appropriate way to broach the subject?  Or, more importantly, am I in the wrong? — Fortunately Unfortunate

Tags: love advice, dear wendy

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Poll: What Would Get You To Take Your Ex Back?

iStockphoto Yesterday, I poured over Wendy’s “15 Signs You’re Over Your Ex,” and then immediately felt tempted to catch up on my Facebook “reading.” I’m weak, weak I tell you! I know I already cried on your shoulder about the “Signs You Should Take Your Ex Back” -- and then totally messed them up myself. Guess we all make mistakes. But I wonder, what if he had brought me flowers or even a box of candy one of those times he showed up at my door? Would a simple gesture have convinced me to give it one more go? That’s what Japanese artist Mashairo Minami bets. He just won first place at the Tokyo Midtown Awards for his Samurai hair-shaped candies, which say “I’m sorry, baby” oh-so sweetly. Since a Samurai’s badass chonmage (top knot of hair) is also a mark of his pride and status, giving you the lock, let alone an edible piece, is supposed to show any woman r-e-s-p-e-c-t. Now, if a guy goes and cuts his real hair off, we might think he’s gone crazy, but would a token of gummi candy do the trick for you ladies?
What would get you to take an ex back?

Tags: breaking up, polls, making up

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Love Vandal: Animal Adoration

love graffiti

Reader Tristan snapped this on Appalachian State’s campus.

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com.

Tags: love advice, love vandal, graffiti

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30 Skills Every Woman Should Have Before Turning 30*

30 Skills Every Woman Should Have Before Turning 30*

Our editor Amelia is turning 30 in a few short weeks and her essay on the subject really resonated with Frisky readers, both younger and older than 30. With that in mind, we’ll be reposting our “30 Before 30” series, which originally ran late last year, over the next few weeks. Enjoy!

We’ve talked about places to do it, things to own, and friends to make before turning 30, and since Popular Mechanics has a new list out of skills every man should know, we thought this was the perfect time to talk about the 30 skills every woman should know before she turns 30. Check the list out, after the jump.

Tags: 30 before 30, skills

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Dear Wendy: Being Alone Is Better Than Being With A Loser

Dear Wendy Advice Column

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and we have lived together almost that long. The relationship moved fast, we have known each other since college and stayed in touch on and off.  He was not boyfriend material back then because he was a bit of a player and could not be trusted, but now we’re both 28 and, finally, last year we decided to start a relationship. Things began over phone/text because we lived four hours apart.  He was super sweet and said very romantic things which I completely fell for… At the time he had two jobs and seemed to be a hard-working guy with lots of friends. He did not have a great job, but at the time I was like who cares, everyone takes their own path to their goals in life. He entered the army last fall to help him finance finishing college and went to boot camp in GA. He lasted a month, decided it was not for him and moved in with me.  This is when I feel like the truth came out ... he went from having two jobs and working hard to being unemployed for months, spending most of what money he had on movies, and buying drinks for friends when we went out. Eventually got a job and now he pays cable, electric bills. While we do get along and have stuff in common, I find myself questioning his basic character and ability to man up and face problems without running from them.  If I were 24, I would probably have already broken up with him.  At 28, I feel like I may end up alone if I do not find some kind of relationship ... Help! — Bummed in Boston

Tags: love advice, dear wendy

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15 Signs You’re Over Your Ex

15 Signs You're Over Your Ex

Last week I started a discussion about how long it takes to get over an ex. Answers varied, of course, depending on lots of different factors, and some people even admitted they weren’t sure whether they’d ever get over an ex. While we may not be there now, most of us can remember a time when we wondered the very same thing. Fortunately, time really does heal most wounds and eventually the fog lifts and the day comes when you realize, suddenly, you’re gloriously, blessedly, wonderfully, finally over him! That day doesn’t come without warning, of course. There are always signs you’re moving on. After the jump, 15 ways to know you’re over an ex.

Tags: love advice, breaking up, moving on

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Decode My Dream: My Mother Is Missing Or Dead!

Dream Analysis

I’m a sophomore in college and recently moved back to school two hours away from my home. I keep having dreams where I can’t find my mother, she gets lost, or in the worst cases, she dies. I’ve never had more real or painful dreams before. When she dies I collapse in my dream and am overcome with grief and tears. My crying is so real I wake up and continue to cry until I get a hold of myself and realize it was just a dream. I keep getting more and more paranoid that my dreams will get worse or are insight into something deeper. Help! —Mother Lover

Tags: decode my dream, dream analysis

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