Consider the open relationship. Maybe you’ve always felt constrained by a traditional relationship, and known that you could happily be with more than one person. Maybe your partner brings it up to you one night over tacos and margaritas, and you’re game. Or, maybe this is just something that you’ve wanted to try, to see if it’s something you could really succeed at. Most people go into open relationships not because they want to bone every person out there that catches their eye, but because the concept of monogamy is one that for many, feels decidedly foreign. It is kind of strange to think that we’re expected to stay with just the one person for a sustained period of time, and an open relationship can help expand boundaries. If you’re considering an open relationship, keep in mind that, if done correctly, they can be a blast. If handled poorly, like most things in life, they will blow up in your face. Here are some tips on how to navigate this new terrain. Keep reading »
Anonymous dicks on the Internet have told me a few times that I’ll never get a boyfriend because of my feminism. First of all, oh noes, because being single is so bad and women’s lives are meaningless unless a man validates us with their commitment. Second of all, what? I’ve had a boyfriend for a year and a half. They go on to claim that the only men who date or sleep with feminists are some variation on the word “fag,” which I take to mean effeminate, which is sometimes the case and sometimes not. I will say that my boyfriend is extremely masculine but does not engage in the desperate, hyper-macho mindset that leads people to call other people some variation on the word “fag” as if it’s an insult. That, or they’re “white knights,” or male feminists who are only in it for that sweet, sweet feminist pussy (which is weird, because they’ve also made really vile remarks about my vagina).
Anyway, what I’m getting to is: All of the anti-feminist assumptions about my love life as a feminist are predictably wrong. Tick — I have a boyfriend. Tick — he’s not effeminate (although it’d be fine if he was). Tick — he’s not a feminist, either. Keep reading »
Samhita Mukhopadhyay asked today on Al Jazeera: Can online dating ever be women-friendly? She talks in her op-ed about the challenges of online dating after your mid-30s, the rash of gross misogynist messages you can expect to receive as a woman on online dating sites, and how Tinder was intended to be woman-friendly, but can it really be woman-friendly if its creators don’t know what life is like as a woman and have, now, been accused of sexual harassment? She doesn’t mention sites like Straight White Boys Texting, which cull their content from Tinder users, among others, and which seems like a pretty pertinent point: Even if you “approve” of them based on their profile, you have no guarantee of how a potential date will actually treat you in real time.
Her conclusion is this pretty depressing last-stage-of-grief coping mechanism: “It’s as though the offensiveness on dating sites becomes a sorting mechanism, a virtual last man standing; only the last man is (hopefully) not a drunk sexist jerk.” My god. I mean, I know what she’s talking about. I’ve been there. It’s just that I was 25 and after four months of being on OKCupid the well of all right guys had already dried up and I couldn’t find anyone who was neither sexist nor duplicitous nor hyper-defensive (I expect from previous bad online dating experiences of their own). Keep reading »
Ursula from “The Little Mermaid” is almost certainly a lesbian, according to stand-up comic James Adomian, who lovingly refers to the iconic Disney diva in a recent viral bit as a “big dyke with a butch haircut.” Adomian, who is openly gay, doesn’t believe that Ursula deserves the negative treatment she receives in the movie. “Every time I’ve ever met a woman like that in my life,” he says, “she’s been awesome.”
To an extent, Adomian is right: Ursula definitely has deep roots in queer culture. According to bonus materials on “The Little Mermaid” DVD, Ursula was modeled after the famous drag performer Divine, star of the original “Hairspray.” Keep reading »
A new study from Rutgers University and the University of Michigan has found that in a heterosexual marriage, a wife’s happiness is more important to the survival of the relationship than her husband’s. Researchers studied 394 couples who’d been married for an average of 39 years. The couples were asked questions about whether their spouse appreciates them, argues with them or gets on their nerves. They were also asked how happy they were during a 24-hour period while doing specific activities like errands or watching television. Most of the participants reported a high level of satisfaction with their lives, and if a woman reported being happy with her husband, he was more likely to be happy with life in general no matter how he felt about the marriage itself.
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