A little bit of distrust goes a long way. In the wake of the Sanford scandal I am trying to get a better handle of why we lie and how we can tell if someone is telling us the truth.  My interest piqued during the political scandal of the Italian Prime Minister. However, it began several years ago when a male friend of mine began telling me stories about a new woman in his life.

I was a good listener until he asked the question, “So what do you think?”

Did he really want to know that she lying and manipulating him? Continue reading…

In his August “Jake (A Man’s Opinion)” column in Glamour, single guy Jake discusses “7 ‘Sexy’ Things That Aren’t” (which reminds us of our Sweet Overload: 15 Ways A Guy Can Overdo It). In the last paragraph he writes:

I was at dinner with my last girlfriend, Claudia, admiring the candlelight reflecting off her olive skin, the warmth of her smile and...hold on, was that glitter on her eyes? In glitter’s defense, it’s not not sexy; maybe it’s even in style right now. But it marks the point where makeup veers into arts ‘n’ crafts. No man dates a woman because she’s an expert with cosmetics. He dates you for what’s underneath all that. P.S. Claudia, I miss you, spangles and all.

Even though Jake kind of dissed Claudia’s glitter eyeshadow, he still was man enough to admit he missed her—and he put his feelings in print for millions of people to read. How romantic! So we’d like to know what’s the most romantic thing a former lover has done to win you back or what have you done to get a lover back? Tell us in the comments.

A mother and its one-month-old Californian sea lion nuzzle noses in a Munich, Germany, zoo. [7/3/09]

I’m not going to lie and say I have never hooked up with a coworker, I have. That said, I don’t think it’s a particularly good idea. Ladies, we need people to take us seriously at work, glass ceiling be damned. If you are diddling the dude who sits at the other end of the office, chances are, he’s admiring your legs rather than the speed at which you typed up that report. But while I don’t think one night stands or friends with benefits are good for the office, romance happens. So, what if you develop real feelings for one of your coworkers? The dos and don’ts of office dating, after the jump. 

Make Your “Breakup Bible”
Remember how you told all of your friends about your breakup? Chances are, you got a slew of voice mails, texts, and e-mails offering support or telling you what they really thought of that jerk. It might be hard to hear, but it’s going to come in handy.

Type out or cut and paste any particularly insightful things your friends said to you into a document. This Word file is to become your Breakup Bible. Print it out and stuff one in your purse, paste one to your bathroom mirror, and place one on your nightstand. If you want to bust out the hole punch and stick one into a three-ring binder to make it more official, knock yourself out. Any time you feel like contacting your ex, read your Bible. No doubt you’ll read something from a friend that will prevent you from picking up your cell or crafting that perfectly worded text message that you hope will bring him back to you.

Did you just go through a horrible breakup? Is your heart in a million little pieces? Whether you got dumped or did the dumping, splitting up with someone sucks. But have no fear, The Frisky’s 30-Day Breakup Guide is here! Once you’ve a good cry over the loss of your relationship, spend the next month working on yourself. We’ll be posting detailed instructions for the next 30 days to help you get over he-who-shall-not-be-named. There’s even a handy-dandy calendar to help you keep track of your progress. Now get to work!

Dear Gentlemen,

When you know you don’t want to see me anymore, I need you to do me a favor: be an adult and dump me. Don’t text me pretending that you want to reschedule when you flake out on our plans, don’t promise you’ll call me later if you’re not gonna, don’t ask for my number if you have no intention of ever calling me, etc. If I wanted to date someone who mastered the disappearing act, I’d have schtooped a magician. But I didn’t, I dated/boyfriended/made out with/dry humped on the dance floor/flirted with you. Now, I need you to breakup with me.

Jimmy Fallon once joked about how choosing a friend as a roommate is never awesome:

“It doesn’t work out. You will fight each other––they have to much dirt on you. They’ll crush you in an argument for no reason. Like you’ll just say ‘Hey man the dishes have been in the sink for like two weeks and they’re your dishes. Are you gonna clean them or what?’ And they’ll say, ‘Yeah, remember when you had crabs in the sixth grade?’”

In the last month, I’ve learned that Fallon was so right.

Before I got engaged, I used to think a couple’s truest test of compatibility and readiness for marriage was living together. What could be more of a test, I reasoned, than successfully sharing the same space, splitting the bills, and delegating household chores while still enjoying each other’s company and remaining sexually attracted to one another? That’s why, when my boyfriend proposed after nearly a year and a half of co-habitation, I didn’t hesitate in saying ‘yes.’ I’d lived with a boyfriend before — for over three years — and when that relationship eventually became more like brother-sister than boyfriend-girlfriend, I ended things and wondered if it was even possible for me to live with someone and continue loving him in the romantic sense. But then I met Drew and realized it was.

When did I become the star of the Lifetime movie, “In Love With A Stranger”? (This movie does not exist yet, but it should.) Was this the way “General Hospital“‘s Elizabeth Webber felt when she found out her husband, Ric Lansing, had kidnapped Carly Corinthos and was keeping her locked up in a secret room in their house? Was this kind of betrayal what Janet Jackson was singing about on the song “What About?” How many songs, movies, and books have been penned about deception? Countless, I think. But there are two people I’ve been thinking about in particular, who seem like they would get what it feels like to find out you’d been lied to for years by the person you loved. They are Julie Metz, author of Perfection: A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal, and my ex-fiance’s college girlfriend, who emailed me yesterday out of the blue.

Tell Your Friends
Update your Facebook status, send your besties a mass e-mail, call your pals one by one and give each a histrionic blow-by-blow—or do all three. Telling people makes it real and final, like ripping the Band-Aid off quickly, and you’re going to need your friends right now. Prepare to be amazed by how much people care for you. (Um, unlike your ex.)

Did you just go through a horrible breakup? Is your heart in a million little pieces? Whether you got dumped or did the dumping, splitting up with someone sucks. But have no fear, The Frisky’s 30-Day Breakup Guide is here! Once you’ve a good cry over the loss of your relationship, spend the next month working on yourself. We’ll be posting detailed instructions for the next 30 days to help you get over he-who-shall-not-be-named. There’s even a handy-dandy calendar to help you keep track of your progress. Now get to work!