Did you really think Sir Besties Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen would celebrate the American holiday with anyone but each other? Of course not! Here’s how I imagine the big day went down, if Sir Ian and Sir Patrick channeled their alter egos, Captain Picard and Gandalf, in a confusing fashion:
Sir Patrick: Sir Ian, you’re late!
Sir Ian: A wizard is never late, Sir Patrick. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.
Sir Patrick: Well, whatever. Starfleet has issued a direct order to carve this bird!
Sir Ian: Hold out your hand, Sir Patrick. Remember, that wound will never fully heal. The bird will carry it the rest of his life.
Hands Sir Patrick the knife.
Sir Patrick: Well then, let’s make sure history never forgets the name … Thanksgiving.
Sir Ian: So be it. (nods head)
Sir Patrick: ENGAGE.
Annnnnd SCENE. [Twitter]
Thanksgiving does not officially begin until the national news media gathers outside the White House for the pomp-and-circumstance of the president not murdering a poor, defenseless bird. This year’s lucky turkey is Popcorn from Badger, Minnesota, who, loves to eat corn and dances to Beyoncé’s “Halo,” according to the White House blog. Even less enthusiastic about being there than the media standing out the the cold were Sasha and Malia Obama. They have the look all over their faces that they are getting too old for this shit. [NBC Washington] [Image via Getty]
The band, not the musical (although I bet she prefers the movie). But a Chicago T is exactly what Kim is wearing for a casual day of strolling daughter North West around in the the freezing cold in NYC. I wonder what her favorite song is? “I Don’t Want To Live Without Your Love”? “You’re The Inspiration”? “Hard To Say I’m Sorry”? Yeah, I bet it’s one of those. [Photos: Splash News/INFDaily.com]
Zach Braff pops up all kinds of places where he isn’t wanted, like Starz repeats of “Garden State” and the endless loop of “Scrubs” reruns on some channel my mom watches. But Zach deserves a venti caramel mocha latte for his latest surprise: he photobombed a newlywed couple’s schmoopy photoshoot in the middle of Times Square. Photographer Sascha Reinking was going through pictures he took during a shoot and noticed Zach in the background with a Starbucks drink and a big goofy grin. The photographer then tweeted at the actor, “Sir, I think you photobombed my newlywed couple the other day in New York. :) Well played …” and Zach retweeted it with the comment, “This is one of my best photobombs ever.” Indeed, Zach Braff, indeed. [New York Daily News]
Did you know that every time you take your birth control pill, a tiny Victorian woman in your uterus hits a baby-carrying stork with an umbrella, and that’s why you don’t get pregnant? It’s true. This turn-of-the-century postcard knows what’s up. [Tumblr]
Um, is there an Instagram filter that makes your eyebrows go away? Because that’s the only explanation I can think for what is going on with Miley’s nonexistent brows here … unless she bleached her eyebrows. No, she didn’t. She didn’t! Miranda Kerr, you would have talked Miley out of bleaching her eyebrows, wouldn’t you have? [Instagram.com/MirandaKerr]