Secrets in Relationships

Little white lies. Big gnawing secrets. In relationships, we all keep certain thing from our significant others -- even if we don't think we do. Sure, there may be a few among us who put it all out on the table, but relationships are tricky, and sometimes not letting it all hang out is for the best. The trick is figuring out what to tell and when to keep your mouth shut. From sexual history to credit card debt, opening one's personal Pandora's box can make it or break it in love. So we've gotta ask ...

What are the secrets that you keep in a relationship?

My sexual history. My number is in the double digits. He thinks it's under five. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.
My credit card debt. I had no idea all those Louboutins would add up to that big number so quickly. Le sigh.
My age. I told him I was 29. Too late to fess up now! That's why I hide my purse.
My anxieties. Is he really "The One"? I don't know if I want to marry him.
My abortion. Only my best friend and my mom know.
My addiction. I worry he'll leave me if I confess.
My boob job. I think he knows already.
There are none. I am an open book. I have no secrets!

comments

hlnbabe
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 08:37 am: [report]

i’m an open book. with everyone.

Perceptible
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 08:42 am: [report]

Nothing for me to vote for! I’m bad at lying. People who know me can see right through me. He knows the truth about all of those. Even how I feel about his kids… (3 bratty teenage girls) which is something I WISH I could keep from him. Sigh. But I’m glad I’m honest. I really have nothing to hide anyway.

Perceptible
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 08:43 am: [report]

Can you add a “nothing” button? I’d like to see the results but don’t want to skew them by voting for one of the given choices.

lea322
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 09:08 am: [report]

I definitely don’t dump everything out there all at once, but in a healthy, committed relationship I share everything with my partner that I feel is appropriate at the time. He doesn’t need to know about all my student loan debt on day one, but he will need to know eventually. And if I can’t share my anxieties with a person, I know they AREN’T the one.

bethlynn00
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 09:17 am: [report]

I have definitely lied about my sexual history. I feel like my number is for me to know and no one else, plus I don’t want it to turn into a weird discussion if he thinks the number is too high, which has happened when I have told the truth. It’s not like it’s in the triple digits or high double digits or anything, but it’s not in the single digits either, so I usually cut it in half at least. Really all he needs to know and see are clean STI/HIV results, which I have, other wise a little mystery is okay.

Perceptible
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 09:41 am: [report]

Thanks for the added button! (Interesting voting results.)

abbylyn
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 09:56 am: [report]

I’ll answer any question he asks honestly, but there is some information that I just don’t see the point in volunteering.

CarleRae
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 11:34 am: [report]

i’m with abbylyn.
except, i’m not giving out passwords.

bogart4017
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 02:45 pm: [report]

Ladies—-your credit history is your business.
So is your sexual history. He doesnt need your numbers and you don’t need his.
If a boob job was a deal breaker he would be gone by now.
Your anxiety? Women have a right to change their minds. If i’m not the one, i’ll give you cab fare to find him.

iphigenia110
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 03:07 pm: [report]

I voted for “my anxieties,” but not in the precise way it’s phrased there. My last relationship was borderline emotionally abusive, and so I’m really fighting a lot of weird little mental freak-outs in my new relationship. Like, my ex got really upset if I called him my boyfriend or my man (even after a year and a half of exclusivity). Someone referred to me as my new BF’s “girlfriend” in front of him the other day, and I literally got nauseous because my first thought was, “Oh god, he’s going to freak out and dump me now!” Yeah, he doesn’t need to know about things like that.

majicksand
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 09:49 am: [report]

The skeletons in your closet lose their power when you open the door yourself.

meredith806
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 06:48 pm: [report]

I eventually tell all. My current boyfriend honestly knows me too well, he knows everything. However I did keep my past abusive relationship from him for the first 8-9 months. I’m glad I waited; it took a lot of convincing on my part to keep him calm..and uh not wanting to attack my ex lol

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Poll: What Secrets Do You Keep From Your Significant Other?