Poll: Should You Dump A Guy Who Won’t Go Down On You?
Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry | Filed in: polls, sex
9:00AM, Tuesday October 06th 2009
Comments (24)
In the November issue of Glamour, the mag polled readers about whether you should break up with a guy who won't give oral sex. Our friends Em and Lo argued that, no, you shouldn't dump him because he may dislike the "texture or flavor or scent" or he may not know what to do down there -- "cut him some slack," they suggest, so long as he doesn't expect to receive oral sex. That sounded like a fairly diplomatic way of looking at it, but the fact is the majority of women get off on oral sex, not intercourse. If you were dating someone who wouldn't go down on you, would you give him the ol' heave-ho?
Should you dump a guy who won't go down on you?
Comments (24)
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Riley
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 08:14 am: [report]
If I genuinely like the woman, I want to do it for her.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 08:29 am: [report]
Conversely, would you dump a chick who won’t let you go down?
raqueleza
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 08:34 am: [report]
Absolutely, but only if he’s unwilling to learn. If he’s just bad at it and isn’t repelled or anything, we can work on that. Otherwise, I can’t imagine my own sex life without giving, and I expect to receive.
Emi
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 08:50 am: [report]
I’m in a LDR, and my boyfriend really wanted to at first. I wasn’t comfortable with the idea.. it didn’t do anything for me, so it never happened. He actually didn’t like the idea of receiving, but I got him to loving it. We talked about it again recently, and he acted repulsed at the idea of giving me oral. Although I still don’t like the idea it hurt my feelings. *facepalm*
Yeah, but anyway.. no I wouldn’t dump them. It doesn’t matter to me because it’s not something I want.
loveitlala
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 08:56 am: [report]
The answer to this question is s-e-l-f-e-s-t-e-e-m.
abcd
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 09:01 am: [report]
I do not think that if he does not go down on you that breaking up is the answer. What if the woman does not go down on the man? Does that mean he should break up with her?
SamL
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 09:14 am: [report]
Isn’t the title question like asking if you’d dump a guy if he refused to have sex with you?
Isn’t oral sex, both ways, integral to a satisfying sex/love life?
Is the Pope a catholic?
As you can see I’m finding it difficult to compute any answer other than YES!
And of course I realise it’s a case of different strokes for different folks. I respect anyone who doesn’t want to give/take oral sex; it’s just, for me, I can’t imagine a life without it.
Would I dump a guy who wouldn’t go down on me? Well put it this way, he’d only have one chance…
SamL
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 09:18 am: [report]
Oh, and just to make sure no-one thinks it’s all take, take take on my part, I LOVE going down on a man!
kellieann
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 10:27 am: [report]
This is a deal breaker for me. I feel sorry for women who havent enjoyed a man down there who knows what he’s doing. If he wont go down—SEE YA!
(I would also wonder about his sexual orientation.)
thegr8brownie
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 10:28 am: [report]
Can I break up with a Girl because she won’t suck my dick?
kellieann
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 11:11 am: [report]
YES YOU CAN AND SHOULD DUMP A GIRL IF SHE WONT SUCK YOUR DICK!!
C.Munro
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 01:01 pm: [report]
I won’t go so far as to say you should, but I don’t think it would be wrong if you did.
Frederica Bimble
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 01:27 pm: [report]
C. Munro - Indeed.
thegr8brownie - Do what you want, it’s your life.
kellbell - All caps is the mark of a nutcase. Sort yourself out.
OKSUNI
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 03:36 pm: [report]
I wouldn’t dump him if I really liked him, but I’d feel self conscious if he refused..like is there something wrong with it? Which would make the whole relationship weird, so we’d probably break up anyway.
SCRMOM
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 03:49 pm: [report]
While I probably wouldn’t dump him, it would bother me that he would refuse to do it. If he was a very good lover in spite of that, I could probably get over it, though.
PinkRanger
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 04:26 pm: [report]
Theres nothing wrong with vaginas. If my boyfriend doesn’t like vaginas, or thinks mine or they are gross, then we’re breaking up. If he likes vaginas, and doesn’t think they’re gross, then why wouldn’t he go down on me? If he is nervous about it, that’s a different story, but if a guy tells me that he thinks it’s gross, then that’s the biggest turn off I can imagine.
I’m pretty sure if I ever told a guy that I wasn’t going to go down on him simply because I thought it was icky, he wouldn’t want to be with me either.
PinkRanger
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 04:38 pm: [report]
@sd_ref: I don’t even know you…...not sure why you’re coming here to take out your insecurties instead of a therapists office. little pathetic don’t you think?
Colleen
wrote on October 7 2009 @ 09:34 am: [report]
absolutley is all I have to say.
bogart4017
wrote on October 7 2009 @ 11:58 am: [report]
Thats why i really love this place! Pinkranger,cmunro and all the rest…really healthy sexual attitudes. Its refreshing to read these peoples thoughts after coming up around a lot of sexually repressed people.
Keep rockin’!!
MuchoMacho
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 04:17 pm: [report]
not only should you dump a guy who wont go down on you, but i wont date a girl who wont let me. ive tried. too many body issues.
laynee1
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 07:59 am: [report]
I love going down on women. When I can get her to orgasm that way, then I can bang away and have my orgasm and that way ev1 is satisfied and has a happy ending.
Iammina
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 06:40 pm: [report]
I personally feel that this is something that most couples in an intimate relationship want to do for each other. When you are in love (or lust), you just want to taste them. I think I fell in love with my husband because he was really good at making me feel really good.
sjms
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 05:59 pm: [report]
I dated a woman who would not let me go down on her, yet she loved taking care of me, and she was very good at it. I accepted it, but in the back of my mind I always wanted to ‘return the favor’. Otherwise, the sex was great, but the next person I dated was all about ‘face time’, and the difference in the sex was like night and day, at least from a mental perspective for me. By that, I mean that I got off on the fact she was definitely enjoying it.
The only thing I’d throw out there, ladies, is if your guy isn’t doing it right, and you haven’t told him what you like/how you like it, try being direct. They might get a little defensive at first, but that’s still better than you not getting off and him not helping, right? Most guys aren’t mind-readers but they do you want to make you happy in bed/car/airplane/woods/wherever.
EricaB
wrote on November 1 2009 @ 03:19 pm: [report]
I feel there are far more important issues in a real relationship, so no I wouldn’t dump a guy just because he wouldn’t go down on me. It may also have something to do with not giving a @#$% about it anyway. One of my ex-BF was amazing (at all things sexual) and it worked like a charm every single time, yet it was no great loss when the next guy wasn’t good (and I’m good at communicating what to do). Although I enjoy pleasing my man, I don’t enjoy going down on him either and it must not be a big deal because he married me anyway.