Poll: Does True Love Mean Sharing Your Email Password?

powplz
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 11:36 am: [report]

We share passwords for things we share: hulu, netflix, etc.  I know the password to unlock his blackberry and to get on his laptop, and he would have the equivalent for me if my phone or laptop had passwords (they don’t).  If it’s not for a device or a site/service we share, we don’t swap passwords. 

We’re both on another forum and don’t have each other’s passwords there either ... though he’ll occasionally accidentally post as me not remembering that my laptop is logged in as me, not him (boy was that embarrassing when he responded to a stupd “what do you weigh?” thread!).

luke15chick
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 11:39 am: [report]

one of my close girlfriends has always gotten email and fb passwords off her bfs, has used them to check to see if they have read her emails she sends them you know because it shows if an email is read and she wants to know if its within a timely fashion that pleases her.  I love the chick, but think this kind of thing leans towards controlling. I trust my bf to be honest with me without me having to check up on him and I expect him to be honest as well.

amandabear
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 11:41 am: [report]

I’m in the no way category. Like joyy said, maybe for netflix or something, but my email, cell phone, atm, etc? Never. There’s no reason they’d need that info, and no reason I’d need theirs.

*sam*
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 11:45 am: [report]

we don’t necessarily “share” our passwords, but I do know all of his, and I don’t think he knows any of mine. But, this is because out of the two of us, I’m usually the one paying the bills, and when they’re in his name and I’m not on the account, the only way I can do so is online. Therefore, I needed access to his email in order to set up accounts and whatnot. As for his myspace, I got his when he didn’t have internet access (he was deployed) and needed me to change his password so his ex wouldn’t have access to his account anymore. I’ve been on it once or twice since I deleted my account in order to contact a few friends to let them know I was on facebook, but that’s it. He knows I’ve been on there to that and doesn’t care in the least. He never uses it (or checks his email for that matter) anyway so it’s not really a big deal with us.

william.paul
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 11:46 am: [report]

In the words of one of my co-worker’s daughters “The only reason a girl would want your password is so she can spy on you.”

I am firmly in the no way category.

*sam*
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 11:49 am: [report]

I forgot to add that our ATM PIN numbers are a different matter. We changed the cards to our joint account to have the same number as his separate account (he forgets numbers easily, so we decided it was best for him to only have to remember one PIN, rather than two or three) and he knows the number to my separate account (whether or not he actually remembers it is another matter). Again, this is all in an effort to ease bill paying.

spatula
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 11:59 am: [report]

I knew my ex’s Myspace password, which I obviously used to psychotically (and possibly illegally?) read his inbox without his knowledge or consent. Of course, I saw messages that I did not want to see (and that he shouldnt have been sending!), and was heartbroken, and confronted him. Again, psychotically. It did not end well for any of the parties involved, and while I’m not necessarily proud of it, honestly I would probably never have found out otherwise.

My point is, he knew I knew the password. (Clearly he underestimated my craziness) So maybe, only give your passwords out if you’re in a healthy relationship? I don’t know a lot about those, though

Lexington
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 11:59 am: [report]

No freaking way. I am crazy enough the way it is- I don’t need that temptation, and no one sure as hell needs to be reading the private stuff I say! If we were married that might be a different matter, but I still wouldn’t let them have access to my Facebook, that’s just completely unnecessary.

lea322
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 12:00 pm: [report]

My friend’s now-husband actually used telling her the password to his computer as part of his proposal. That sounds a little cheesy, but he had been adamant about not sharing passwords, so when he told her his, she knew something was up!

bumbler
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 12:00 pm: [report]

Eh I’m married so it’s a little it different than if I were with someone I’m casually dating.  In dating I say no way, too much of a chance of a breakup which could lead to hacks and what not.  Now that I’m married we share everything, it’s no big deal.  We have an agreement that we never do anything we wouldn’t feel comfortable doing in front of the other.  Sharing our passwords was just another way to reinforce that, I never sign in to his stuff and I doubt he ever signs into mine.  If he did I wouldn’t care.

lea322
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 12:03 pm: [report]

@spatula: I did the same thing (didn’t confront him because technically we were broken up when I looked, but the timeline for the incriminating messages was when we were together). It’s definitely in my top 5 desired take-backs in life.

AshleyM
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 12:20 pm: [report]

My husband and I share passwords.  Sometimes I don’t get to check my email, so he will check it for me!

Jennifer R
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 12:29 pm: [report]

We’re married, so it goes a little beyond just boyfriend/girlfriend sharing lol. He has all my passwords, and my band card number (he doesn’t have a checking acct, we use mine), all that good stuff. But if it was a simple boyfriend matter, then probably not. Unless it was a long term very serious deal.

writergirl
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 12:36 pm: [report]

I’m married, too, so it is different.  But it has been annoying when he’s asked me to handle something and then not given me the password to log into the damn account.  I then have to sit there and “guess” at what it could be. Pain in the butt.

I do NOT have his password for his email or to get onto his laptop.  And now that I am thinking about it—if he goes down in a plane crash, I wouldn’t be able to tap the savings account.  I need to get that password.

writergirl
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 12:38 pm: [report]

Oh—he also doesn’t have any of my passwords.  Not for any other reason than I just never thought to give them to him.  BUt email is our personal space—neither infringes on it.  I can’t hack into his FB account and he can’t hack into mine either.  I’ve told him the PIN number to my debit card countless times but he doesn’t remember it.

I Go To 11
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 12:50 pm: [report]

I’m married, so like writergirl and bumbler, it’s a different story. I’ll give him passwords if I need him to log into something for me that I can’t get to right away, and vice versa. For the most part, we don’t know each other’s passwords to stuff. Not out of distrust, but it’s just never been an issue that’s been brought up. Oh, and we’ll know passwords for things we share, as well, but we don’t know how to login to each other’s credit card accounts that we had prior to getting married (there’s really no reason for us to do so anyway.)

danila
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 12:54 pm: [report]

When you’re in a relationship, even married…you’re still an individual. It’s important to still have SOME privacy. So it’s not about having something to hide. It’s about having something that’s yours

Coral
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 01:10 pm: [report]

Since early on, my boyfriend of over 3 years and I share our passwords with each other. But it’s not like we just decided to swap them—it was more something that just happened, and I trusted him enough with the passwords. I have never once logged in to my boyfriend’s email account and it never even crosses my mind. And I highly doubt he has ever been in my account. And I think just to know the password and not use it is a huge step of trust to build—because if one partner in a relationship really wanted to cheat or do something inappropriate, the other person would most likely be smart enough to create a separate email account and password anyways. So even then, one still needs to put a lot of trust in the other.

But ATM pins are a whole other decision entirely—at least for me—I’m not financially independent yet—I’m in college, whereas, my boyfriend is financially independent and has a stable job and building up to a career. If I were married or more financially independent, then maybe I would share my ATM pin with my boyfriend, because after all, we have been together for 3 years. But money is very powerful and desired, and identity theft and all sorts of suspicious withdrawals could occur when another person knows your pin.

Rokkor
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 02:32 pm: [report]

If pressed, I’d probably give up my password.

Luckily, I’ve got about three e-mail accounts, though, so I wouldn’t mind losing one like that.

asongforsunshine
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 04:20 pm: [report]

My boyfriend is overly insecure thanks to his previous cheating girlfriends and he is forever asking me why I don’t share my myspace/facebook/whatever passwords with him.
I’ve always been a private and independent person and those passwords are only for me to know unless it’s an emergency.

fallonthecity
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 07:52 pm: [report]

It’s not that I don’t trust him—I just like my space!

Drea
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 10:09 pm: [report]

I had to tell my ex to change his passwords when we broke up.  He didn’t understand why.  He’s not very smart in that area.  I could have wreaked some serious havoc on that boy.

GreyWolf
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 07:48 am: [report]

I’ve been married forever, so our bank accounts and credit cards and such are available to both of us.  Our email account at home has no password, and for the vanilla stuff/websites, I have a password vault program that is open to all of us.

But for personal stuff… like Facebook… I don’t have her password and she doesn’t have mine (yes, we are friends there tho).  If she has any on-line email accounts or sites she visits, I don’t, and don’t want to, have access to them.

You still need your privacy, even if you are a couple.  It’s not about keeping secrets, or clandestine meetings.  It could be as simple as what she’s buying me for Christmas.  It’s like a diary… you still need a place for your private thoughts, without worrying about someone intruding.

spatula
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 10:13 am: [report]

@ Drea: LOL!! my ex that I totally hacked STILL has not changed his password. I don’t think he knows how, though.

majicksand
wrote on October 24 2009 @ 09:46 am: [report]

My husband and I are together pretty much 24/7, so everything in our lives is intertwined.  I think we’ve swapped passwords for most things at some time or another, but neither one of us writes them down.  Just yesterday I had to ask his email password again.  He told me the password then got curious 5 minutes later and asked why I needed it. 

FTR, one of our vendors couldn’t seem to email me the documents I needed, so we were checking to see if it was my email screwing up or the vendor’s.  Turns out the vendor’s spam blocker was rejecting his own contract.  That really doesn’t look good for a communications company I’m getting ready to sign a 3 year deal with!