Would You Dump Someone Over A Bad Gift?
Posted by: Wendy Atterberry
Filed in:
news
8:30AM, Friday December 12th 2008
According to a new study, a third of all women “view an inadequate Christmas gift as a relationship deal-breaker.” Women sited cooking utensils, cleaning products, fake jewelry, and, mysteriously, “a tape dispenser” as bad gift choices. Not surprisingly, lame gifts followed by more disappointments (reservations at the wrong restaurant, perhaps?) led to more breakups, the survey found. Interestingly, smart women are particularly hard to please: “highly educated women—especially those in the legal field—are particularly demanding.”
“Lauren Mondello, 26, of Baldwin, L.I., said she may consider kicking a man to the curb for a lousy keepsake. ‘For a set of knives—I probably would,’ she admitted.”
“Emma Davis, 27, a visitor from England, felt vindicated when an ex-boyfriend bought her a Wonder Mop from a TV infomercial. ‘He thought he was getting me a really good present, but I was not impressed,’ she said.”
Look, I love great gifts as much as the next chick, but are bad ones really worth getting our knickers in a knot over? One Christmas, a boyfriend gave me one of those fancy electric toothbrushes, and even though my girlfriends teased me about it, I decided to appreciate my boyfriend’s obvious concern for my dental health. Besides, someone must have talked some sense into him because for Valentine’s Day a couple months later, he gave me an all-day pass to a spa, where I got a full-body massage, a facial, and a seaweed wrap. It was great (well, except for the seaweed wrap, which turned out to be pretty uncomfortable, actually), but the point is, I don’t need a gift to know if a man cares for me—he shows me in lots of other ways. Why are so many women wrapped up in material expressions of love? Would you ever dump a guy over a bad gift? [NYDailyNews]
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dirtyboots
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 09:22 am: [report]
I know I’m not always the best gift-giver, especially in relationships, boys can be really hard to shop for! As long as there was some thought/consideration involved, I can’t complain.
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 09:25 am: [report]
I have to say, even if gifts are a bigger deal to you as a person moreso than others, dumping someone or making a huge stink over a bad gift is so shallow. If you dump someone or breakup over 1 bad gift then you are a shallow bit*h, and I use that term for a male or female doing the breaking up. =)
(ps this wasnt at you boots, just used “you” to refer to people in general =)
shannac02
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 09:32 am: [report]
Agreed. Whatever happened to “its that thought that counts” or “I’m just happy to be with you during the holidays”... Geez. Its crazy bitches that taint the rest of us… One bad apple…
vanya
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 10:02 am: [report]
Gifts - bad or good - are not a dealbreaker, nor a dealmaker, for me.
Arty
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 10:05 am: [report]
@East
I completely agree. Even though sometimes gifts can lead to “what was he/she THINKING?” type thoughts, it’s not worth breaking up over.
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 10:09 am: [report]
Agreed miss and shanna. I believe it is the thought that counts but also even if they had a lapse in judgement and bought you something way off base, what happen to the idea that them buying you a gift at all at least shows that they care to some degree. I just dont see gifts, bad or good or even a total lack thereof as a reason to breakup. =)
shannac02
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 10:18 am: [report]
I try to be a thoughtful gift-giver, but some people are impossible to please… However, I don’t expect EVERYONE to be a great gift-giver… Ramble Ramble LOL
Lynn
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 11:34 am: [report]
I think it depends. If I know he put thought and care into it and just fell way off the mark, then of course I wouldn’t break up with him. but if he did just hand over a tape dispenser wrapped in a plastic bag, I’d have to think long and hard about whether I felt like he was putting time and effort into our relationship. I would break up over a gift if it was a signal of something deeper.
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 11:41 am: [report]
to each their own I suppose but I personally think that is way off. Of course if you dug deeper, found he hated you or was a cheater or something and THEN broke up with him or her, I think thats valid. Seeing a troll pencil, getting mad, assuming its something wrong with the guy and breaking up however is bogus in my mind. A bad gift would never cause a breakup for me.
Arty
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 11:42 am: [report]
@Lynn
But all the same, it wouldn’t be the gift. Sure, a tape dispenser might be a sign that he wasn’t putting effort into the relationship, but there would probably be other signs as well. I mean, if tape-dispenser guy often planned really amazing thoughtful dates that you really loved, then obviously the tape-dispenser was just a little misstep.
Lynn
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 11:52 am: [report]
@missinformation - that’s what I’m saying. It wouldn’t be about the tape dispenser itself, it would be about my guy’s attitude toward our relationship. While I guess it is possible that someone could give that crappy of a gift and be a stellar boyfriend in all other areas, I think it’s unlikely. I think the stellar boyfriends who put thought and care into most of the relationship would put thought and care into a present. That’s why I didn’t say I would break up with him over it - but that it would really make me think and evaluate our relationship.
Kiki T
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 12:02 pm: [report]
I’m a Scorpio, I so think a gift is a direct reflection of what someone thinks and feels for you.
Humble Bee
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 12:34 pm: [report]
I agree with Kiki. I know people say its the thought that counts, but
If its a bad gift, I wonder what kind of fu*ked up thought you were thinking about when you bought it….
I feel like from certain people its okay to get a bad gift because they don’t know you so well, but someone who you’ve been with and is supposed to know you well, why would you give them a thoughtless gif. It just makes me feel bad that i’m not worth a better gift. I used to be like, oh whatever a bad gift, who cares, but now i know that if I odnt like it, i’ll speak out about it, so the next time it won’t happen. Its only fair, I spend so much time and thought on peoples gifts, why do I deserve a crappy one? I dont!
I will never end anything with them, but i will take into consideration. It doesnt have to be the best gift, just something you know the other person actually likes.
suzybabies
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 12:36 pm: [report]
wow i didn’t know it was such a deal breaker, but seems to make sense. i’ve got bad gifts in the past and now that i think about it its always another reason to break up with them when an rolls around.
check out the top ten worst condom ideas
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Katia
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 09:46 pm: [report]
I wouldn’t break up with someone over something as trivial as a poor choice in gifts, but it *can* change the way you view them or your relationship. I hate heart jewelry and fussy old fashioned jewelry. An ex once bought me filigree heart earings and while I was surprised by the choice, I accepted them graciously because they came from him and (seemingly) from his heart and that was all that mattered. However, he then proceeded to tell me that he really had no clue what I liked and what to get me for my birthday so he simply let the salesgirl at the counter choose something for me. That’s what really hurt. After being together for over a year he felt he knew me so little that he couldn’t think of a single thing that I might like and let a complete stranger pick something for me? I didn’t break up with him, but we didn’t last more than a month after that day (not from anything I initiated). Looking back, I think the incident was symptomatic of him wanting to distance himself from me.