Would You Date—Or Marry—A Plastic Surgeon?
Posted by: Leonora Epstein
Filed in:
news
2:10PM, Monday August 17th 2009
Imagine you’re getting dressed in front of your boyfriend and you ask the cliché question: “Do I look fat?” (We hope not, but just for the sake of argument here…) And his response is, “Well actually, do you want to do something about that?”
What would it be like to date a plastic surgeon—someone who spends his life producing and considering the “ideal” in female beauty? The New York Times‘s T style magazine investigates this question in its latest issue. The answers, surprisingly, are a mixed bag. There’s what you might expect—women who are cosmetic surgery fans ask their partners to help them out (and they do so willingly). One celeb surgeon, Dr. Raj Kanodia (Jen Aniston‘s nose man) has been known to dole out freebies to the ladies. “With previous girlfriends,” he says, “I’ve always done something—a little injection, a little Botox, and several of them I’ve done noses either during the relationship or after we broke up.”
So you’d think that would mean that your doctor boyfriend or husband would constantly be inspecting you and suggesting “upgrades”? Not necessarily so. Dr. David Sayah takes his wife Deborah’s cosmetic requests with a grain of salt, telling her if she wants to lose weight, she should amputate a limb. (Ha! Um…) For guys like Dr. Sayah, it would seem they chose a mate who didn’t need altering. When Deborah had a nose job, he “objected,” and said, “I happen to think she was absolutely beautiful before she did it.”
Then there’s the issue of being with a man whose job requires him to literally check out other women everyday, feel their breasts, and imagine how his patients can be hotter. This, we imagine, would be a real pain in the ass. That is, if your husband hasn’t already anesthetized it for liposuction.
Would you feel uncomfortable dating a cosmetic surgeon? Or, if you’ve been in a relationship with one, do looks play an issue? [New York Times]
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CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 01:23 pm: [report]
Hehe, my mother is a nurse who runs a plastic surgeons operating room. She’s been in the biz for damn near 20 years now. Other interesting tidbits: She keeps botox as well as collagen in our home refrigerator in the vegetable drawer for ‘crispness’. On another occasion she had to bring implants inside for fearing that they would freeze and burst out in the cold car…in other words, this story does nothing for me.
Jenn27549
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 01:36 pm: [report]
I don’t think it would bother me. I’ve had my nose done and am not really interested in anything else major, but it would be nice to get the little stuff done for free. I’d like to have laser hair removal or botox my sweat glands, stuff like that. But my doctor’s wife is not very attractive and (hopefully) hasn’t had anything done. The office manager, on the other hand, is like Plastic Surgery Barbie and someone needs to cut her off badly.
sadie
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 01:40 pm: [report]
I actually don’t imagine your partner feeling boobs and making “improvements” upon them all day would be a big deal. There shouldn’t be anything sexual or arousing about doing this for the doc. The concern about your surgeon partner wanting to “fix” you seems like a more legit concern, but as this article suggests, they’re not a monolithic bunch. I am sure for every guy who wants to fix his mate, there are guys who like their partners as they are, imperfections and all.
If I were single, I’d give a plastic surgeon a shot. I might be wary of him wanting to “fix” me, but I wouldn’t put up with that from any guy, whether he was a surgeon, personal trainer, or some other sort of self-improvement professional. If the guy proved uninterested in changing me I wouldn’t hold his professional choice against him.
Also keep in mind, a lot of surgeons do both cosmetic and reconstructive work. They may be doing cosmetic work so they can afford to do pro bono reconstructive work. So they aren’t all just obsessed with making giant boobs all day.
Anna
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 01:56 pm: [report]
I think this is one of those cases where common interests adds to the attraction. I don’t think that a woman who is anti plastic surgery would be able to see themselves in a committed relationship with someone who makes a living with something they are not interested in. A vegetarian isn’t going to be interested in dating a butcher 9 times out of 10. I used to watch dr. 90210 all the time, and the two male plastic surgeons that I remember being married: one’s wife looked to be made of plastic, and the other was married to another plastic surgeon.
Lynn
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 02:19 pm: [report]
I don’t think I could do it - I feel OK with myself now, but as I age I think I’d be extra insecure about my saggy boobs and wrinkly forehead if I knew my husband was well-versed in noticing these imperfections, too.
The fiance of one of my best friends is in school to be a plastic surgeon, however, and she is totally fine with it.
CaleeKay
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 02:28 pm: [report]
Personally, i wouldn’t want to be ‘married’ to a plastic surgeon, dating could be a little different because of the perks you could get ;] and the fact that you believe it to be short term.
but i honestly wouldn’t want to live the rest of my life with a man that checks out other women every day, even if he ‘likes it’ or not. it just makes me a little uncomfortable. I would just feel like hes sizing me up every time i get naked whether he means to or not.
*sam*
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 02:41 pm: [report]
as for me personally? no, probably not. mostly just b/c I’m not a fan of (in my mind) senseless & vain surgeries. However, the fear that they’re going to want to “fix” you might be blown out of proportion a little bit. Granted, as I’m not a frequent guest at the ‘Cut & Paste Cosmetic Surgery Inn’ I cannot claim that my ideas are derived from experience, but my inclination is to assume that the majority of these surgeons are there, listening to what the client comes in complaining about, and then offers him or her options on how to fix it surgically. I’m assuming that they’re not pointing out that extra bit of belly fat & emerging crows feet while discussing breast augmentation to acquire more business. therefore, I think that a plastic surgeon bf/gf would probably treat his/her S.O. the same way—listen to what s/he complains a/b regularly, w/o pointing out any additional flaws.
also, I agree with Sadie’s remarks—a surgeon examining a woman’s breasts for surgery is probably not as arousing as one might think. It’s work. It’s like assuming that a gyn is getting off on ‘fingering’ his clients during a pap smear—just naive.
CaleeKay
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 02:58 pm: [report]
im sure they probably dont necessarily get aroused, but i know some do. I have known a few gynos to say some very inappropriate things clearly stating they ‘enjoy’ their job. So, youre right, not all of them do, but there are some..
sadie
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 03:01 pm: [report]
@CaleeKay EW! Those people shouldn’t be gynos.
Lady docs FTW!
*sam*
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 03:13 pm: [report]
@sadie: LOL!! oh, this is so wrong, but my bf’s mom & I have joked a/b the fact that her office just so happens to be right next to a gyno’s, and how she wishes she had gone to medical school instead of of a counseling program!! (she’s gay, BTW).
so, just b/c they’re female, doesn’t mean there aren’t a select few who like their jobs a little too much
...just sayin’
Lilypie
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 05:17 pm: [report]
It would take a very self-confident woman I think, to date or marry a plastic surgeon. It’s their job to identify flaws - I imagine it’s hard to turn off at the end of the day.
writergirl
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 05:28 pm: [report]
I don’t think a doctor would have a hard time turning it off. When we come home from work, we don’t want to do “it” whatever the job may be.
My husband runs a software company, and does very little with computers around here compared to what he does at the office—simply put, he doesn’t WANT to do it. My laptop got a virus about eight months ago. He finally fixed it two weeks ago.
Why would a doctor be any different? He doesn’t want to be bothered with identifying his wife’s supposed flaws because he’s done it all day and just isn’t “on” when he comes home.
At least that’s my take on how men respond to things in and out of the office.
Lilypie
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 06:33 pm: [report]
@writergirl - I don’t think I explained it well. What I meant was not that they would want to do the job after work, more that when you are trained to look at things a certain way it’s hard to turn off a way of thinking. Like how hairstylists notice bad haircuts on other people or a chef would notice substandard cooking when he’s dining out. You’re just tuned it to it, whether you are working or not.
So what I was getting at was not that the surgeon would want to give his wife a tummy tuck, but more that he’d recognize the underlying flaw (flabby tummy), whether he wanted to fix it or not because he’s trained to see those particular flaws. Not sure if that makes more sense?
Summer330
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 07:09 pm: [report]
I am married to a plastic surgeon. They are normal people just like everyone else. Being a plastic surgeon is his job. I don’t mind that he sees naked bodies everyday because it is his job to help these people. He doesn’t think that I need surgery to be more beautiful. He is a wonderful doctor and takes great care of his patients.
loveitlala
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 07:38 pm: [report]
@Lilypie This might just be me, but I don’t think a plastic surgeon would go around noticing those things in other people. I think most good doctors appreciate the miracle of the body and only *help* their patients look how they want, not impose perfection on them.
sadie
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 10:50 pm: [report]
I actually think it’s very unlikely that a lesbian doc would molest her patients. I would worry about it much more with a male doc than a female doc regardless of her sexual orientation. I guess anything is possible, but I still think it is extremely unlikely.
writergirl
wrote on August 18 2009 @ 05:34 am: [report]
@Lilypie—I agree with Loveitlala. I don’t think a doc is walking around going—“Oh, wrinkles there…Her breasts have fallen,” or whatever beacause they don’t solicit the patients—the patients go to them. So if a woman feels confident with how she looks, even his wife, he’s not going to say, “Come into my office so we can…”
Jenn27549
wrote on August 23 2009 @ 02:03 pm: [report]
@Sam, FWIW, they usually do suggest other procedures. Sometimes it is hard to “fix” the singular issue they come in with with just one procedure. They explain how doing one thing will work, and if they did X, Y or Z in addition to get the optimal results. Its not about “selling” additional work, but getting the patient what they want and making sure their expectations line up with the finished product. So, they can end up pointing out other flaws that you didn’t know where there, but its not about just pointing out flaws, but coming to the best understanding of how to proceed. For example, you could just want your nose smaller, but the reason your nose is shaped the way it is is related to the way your face was formed as a whole, and by tweaking a few other things on the face, you’ll optimize the entire facial structure, symmetry and relative sizes of features and end up with a better result than just taking a little off the nose.
tce797
wrote on October 12 2009 @ 05:14 am: [report]
I have been dating a Beverly Hills plastic & reconstructive surgeon for six months now. He seems extremely aware and even sensitive to topic of women manipulating and using him for free services. B/c of this he def. keeps his guard up and in social situations he’d be the last one to offer up any inclination that he is a plastic surgeon. I used to be in PR and so I have a natural habit of bringing up the topic (at times to his dismay) and gushing over how caring, experienced and wonderful he is as a plastic surgeon. He’s so humble, modest & gentle in his dimeanuar - which is what initially attracted me to him.
At first when we began dating, I had my insecurities about other women hitting on him & his own charming persona, etc.. Although after several conversations as to what goes on during his consultations and procedures… it became all too obvious that I was being the paranoid/jealous gf. I either needed to accept the fact that he loves me & chose to give me his heart and fully trust him - or leave.
His career simply involves woman, men and children of all ages and sizes that may feel frightened and vulnerable, yet, it’s his duty as a surgeon, to offer up everything he can to improve their quality of life and make people feel better.
As for how he see’s me? He tells me I am beautiful all the time. He doesn’t want to change a thing about me. I, of course, have my wish list nevertheless;) Well, one thing only really, a rhinoplasty revision (I had one done by another doctor several years ago & it’s not bad but, my sweetheart knows I’m still unhappy with it.) And yes, for me, he will cut the price down drastically - and still feel bad for charging me anything - but it goes back to that whole ‘not getting used’ thing - and I completely understand him for that.
When it comes to the Botox & Juvederm Ultra I use every 3-4 months, he will usually cover the costs. The products (cleansers/creams/etc.) are free for my use, as are the Glycolic & Alpha Hydroxy acid peels. Friends and family certainly get deep discounts. But, truly, he likes me the way I am and believes less is always more:)
-T-
Ok, think I’ve said quite enough;)